[FRESH HELL: 86 IT FROM ORBIT] it may have won nanowrimo 2013 but at what cost [2/6]

[omaewokorosu]

FRESH HELL: 86 IT FROM ORBIT
it may have won nanowrimo 2013 but at what cost
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Previously on Fresh Hell: 86 It From Orbit:
Answer me, Treize—who was that boy?”
Treize swirled the wine again. “No one, Zechs. Just a cadet running an errand.”

"Was he sucking your dick??"
"Why? Are you jealous, Lieutenant?"
"I thought we had an agreement."
"What agreement was that?"
"That I wouldn't be thrown in the cuck chair."
Treize shrugs and takes a sip of wine.
"If you continue to be a good boy for Daddy, you don't have to worry about that possibility."
Zechs nearly choked on the saliva pooling in his mouth.
"Bark for me."
Zechs did so. Treize threw him a treat.

WELCOME BACK EVERYONE to part two of whatever this fucking thing is.

Let the Sun Fade Out. Yeah.

I have my trusty spork Old Reliable on standby and I also have the buster rifle as a hail mary kind of thing in case the spork is not powerful enough.

"But Karu, you can't wield the buster rifle without a Gun—"
It's a scaled down version of it. What do they call these, a proplica?
"It's an overglorified NERF gun."
I'm sorry what is this slander again the buster rif—

*clears throat*

Aodhan slept most of the shuttle ride. There were few passengers on board and most of them were reading or looking over papers. Traveling to and from space was still restricted to those who could afford it—namely those who had the money to do so. And it wasn’t cheap. Even for the upper middle class it was a stretch.
Okay so—

*laughs*

The upper middle class? They can't afford to go into space.

The rich? They can't afford to go into space either.

Relena goes to a fucking expensive rich bitch "we look down on the poors" school and her classmates are like "it must be nice to travel into space, I would love to go even just one time!" and the only reason Relena is able to do is because her father is a fucking diplomat and the government is footing the bill. And by "the government" I mean the taxpayers pay for it through some tax thing and by "taxpayers" I mean anyone who makes less than like, 100k annually, because as we all know the rich don't fucking pay dick in taxes or they commit some kind of tax fraud where they pay $10 instead of the $587,183 they owe in taxes.

which might explain why everything looks like it's from 1876 Europe because they have no money for infrastructure improvements.

The only way he could see Earth up close and personal was by joining his father and pursuing what he wanted for him. But what did Aodhan want? Did he even know?
does any 14 year old know wtf it is that they wanna do with their life??? It's giving me Kelly from Shoes energy, like the beginning of the MV when her father asks, "Kelly, what are you gonna do with your life?" and Kelly's like, "I'm gonna get what I want!" Except Heero has no idea what the fuck he wants but maybe he does need a new pair of shoes.

I want to carve my own path. Make people know my name, not who I am the son of.
I don't think changing your name to Heero Yuy is going to rly help in that department lmao if anything that has even more baggage attached to it?

Perhaps being a nameless boy for a change would be a good thing. It gave him a fresh start.
A fresh start as what though?

But don’t forget what you’re doing this for. Who you’re doing this for. OZ. Treize.
ARE YOU REALLY THOUGH??? Like what is the point of this??? 

What about you? Where does Aodhan Clark fit?
Aodhan looked out the window. The moon was in the distance now, left behind in search of something less touristy. Stars glittered in the inky cold sea surrounding them. Space was beautiful, even to Colonists. Like the sea, Space was a cruel mistress.
If I had a choice between dying in the ocean or dying in space, I would pick space because like, you know the dangers. We don't really know much about the ocean. Most of it's unexplored. We've explored most of space than we have the ocean. 

Cruel and often unforgiving to those who weren’t careful enough. Did people who lived on Earth still think that of the planet they called ‘home’?
He didn’t fit. He was two halves of two different puzzle pieces glued together and they tried to change him so he’d fit harmoniously with all the rest.
Except he’d still stick out. As someone fathered by Earth and mothered by space, he was destined to never completely mesh perfectly anywhere.
I get the point that this is trying to make but at the same time it's...clumsily written I guess? Like Heero feels like an outsider. He sticks out on Earth because he's from space and he sticks out in space because his father is from Earth like. I get it.

That's not why Heero sticks out though lmao

Which is why it’s pointless to try to make a name for the son of Seis Clark or the son of Aoi Yamada. No. He needed to make a name for himself.
O-Okay??? Go do it then?

No one’s survived Dekim’s tests, he thought. What if I die too?
Actual Heero Yuy: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Too late to go back, too late to say no.
He needed to do this.

*

He didn’t remember a thing, just his head hurting and then darkness. He tried to move. Couldn’t. He still couldn’t see—was he blindfolded? Where was he? Did they reach their destination?
“Such a beautiful specimen,” cut through his head like a knife as something pricked his skin.
Uhhhh I think you've been kidnapped from someone who enjoys Silence of the Lambs a bit too much. 

“His blood is such a lovely colour, wouldn’t you agree, Dr. J?”
It should be the same colour as...everyone else's blood?

“Why are we doing this?” asked another voice, less abrasive sounding than the other one. “We’ve done this on ten others and none of them survived beyond the first week. Clearly it’s less of an experiment and more like a slaughterhouse!”
I mean...some experiments end in failure? Unfortunately?

His arm twitched as something cold and sharp slid under his skin.
“He’s awake?” This voice was female. “Should we put him under again, or—”
“No,” said the abrasive one. “I don’t have time for that. Do what you need to—I want to see my perfect soldier made right before my eyes!”
That is creepy. Also, why is Dekim even here? He was never like, actually present at any training or whatever. Like in Endless Waltz Heero can't even place the name, just that it sounds familiar. And Dekim doesn't seem to recognise Heero on sight so like... 

The last thing he had the misfortune of hearing before he passed out again.
He could hear screaming and was too drugged and out of it to realise it was his own.
What does the screaming sound like tho, is it like... A BSOD kind of scream? Because it matters so I can actually hear it in my head. Is it like, Marth getting launched off a stage in Melee (like getting launched into the sky and blasting off again like Team Rocket) but with more like, vocal shredding to it?

*

When Aodhan finally came to, he gasped as all at once pain registered all over his body. He was on the floor. A single naked bulb was his source of light and he had nothing in this room, not even a bed.
What did they do, throw him in a fucking closet or something? 

His heart thudded against his ribs and it hurt. He stared down at himself and found bandages on his upper arms and legs.
did he get in a fight?

What had they done to him? His head snapped towards the door when he heard something shoved in the lock. It opened with a click
aren't you in space? they don't really have normal doors with like, space habitats, they're like hydraulic doors, and they don't use keys they use keypads and access codes and cards and things like that... 

and in the doorway stood an oddly dressed soldier. He looked similar to a boy scout
it's too early for the whole Mariemaia Army thing 

and couldn’t have been older than Aodhan. He stepped to the side and behind him was an older man with nearly white hair and a rather thick moustache. He sneered.
“How’s my weapon?”
I feel like this is supposed to be Dr J but he seems like a dick whereas the actual Dr J at least like...liked Heero? Treated him relatively okay I guess? When he bragged about him in the episode where Heero tries to steal Mercurius and kill the scientists, he calls Heero "his weapon" but in a tone that sounds half joking.

Aodhan stared blankly at him. Weapon?
“You must have me confused, I’m not a weapon.”
lol
lmao
sweetheart what

The man frowned. “Not yet, no. You’re still too human to be the perfect soldier I seek. But soon…”
we're just gonna ignore the fact that Dr J says in a later episode that Heero and especially Quatre are too far from being "perfect" when it comes to soldiering. It requires things like "killing your kindness" and whilst Heero was supposed to have done that sort of extra training...Dr J refused.

Like I get it, this is technically an AU, but it's running seemingly parallel to canon so like. We're not in a place where I can easily suspend my belief. 

He looked a little deranged.
it's Dr J, what do you expect??? 

“You already passed the first test. No one’s made it this far. You’ve got beautiful potential, and I’ll make sure it gets realised.” He looked down his nose at him and Aodhan felt like a dog about to be scolded. Or perhaps with this man, kicked.
J is so far from his actual characterisation that we should rename him to like. Dr N or something idk. He's almost stereotypically evil and that isn't how GW runs with things, everything is shades of grey where your good guys are actually supposed to be "bad guys" and your bad guys run the gamut from chaotic good to just chaotic to lawful neutral. No one is bad—unless your side says they're supposed to be. So the Gundam pilots? Good guys if you're on the side of the Colonies, bad guys if you're on OZ's side, unless you're Treize and–

Yeah, this shit gets complicated. Welcome to Gundam.

“Come here. We must begin your training.”
Aodhan tried to get up, but the pain hurt too much.
“I can’t…”
The man’s eyes narrowed into tiny slits.
J doesn't even have like actual eyeballs he has some kind of ocular replacement going on because he is the epitome of "mad scientist".

“You’re worthless if you can’t fight the pain. You’ll end up dead and where does that put me?” He grabbed Aodhan’s arm and dragged him, seeming to not care about the severity of how scraped his knees would be.
“Pain is one of the things you need to learn to live without.”
He ended up strapped to a table, his arms and legs secured tightly; the edges cut into his wrists and ankles.
“I will dispose of that first. Pain is something to be conquered.” One of his assistants pulled a lever and the table went from flat to up against the wall.
“Overloading the senses will eventually kill them, thus kill the pain.” He laughed a little. “This may hurt a bit.”
Aodhan felt the breath left in his lungs leave him right when the man pressed a few buttons. Because he realised what device this was, though he’d only see them in books. OZ used them for interrogation purposes up until AC 180 when they were deemed cruel and inhumane. It was essentially a torture device.
I feel like I should be calling the number for CPS because what the actual fuck lmao

He tasted blood when he screamed, felt it trickle down his arms as his muscles violently twitched and ripped apart stitches, as the wrists restraints bit into him.
“Fight it,” the man ordered. “If this is how you react to a little bit of pain, then I should just put you out of your misery myself.”
Aodhan grit his teeth, struggled to not throw up or pass out. He almost succeeded. He blacked out for a minute, long enough for them to turn the device off.
“It’s a start.”
I do have Heero's training be something that is, outside of your typical military training, quite abusive and traumatic; one can argue being trained to be a soldier is in itself a trauma, since you're training kids, more or less, to murder people, by turning them into psychopaths. His training has made him sick on many occasions, and resulted in things like multiple broken limbs and so forth. Like it was brutal. It was borderline sadistic. And that's just the physical parts, the psychological part is its own can of worms. I did a whole bunch of research on what has been termed "killology" and there is a great book called On Killing I read and used as a reference for pretty much all of my Heero meta for Rhythm Generation. I used up three highlighters during the course of me annotating it, and it was incredibly interesting, written by an ex-military guy.

*

Four months had passed. When he was strong enough to give a report, he did. Other days, he wished with all his being that he was dead. Surely death was better than this?
I believe it tbh. I'm sure there were many times where Heero wondered if becoming a Gundam pilot was worth all of this, if freedom and independence for the Colonies was really that important to him that he was willing to die to attain it. But then he probably saw his fellow Colonists suffering in some way due to the Alliance's continued oppression of the Colonies, and renewed his resolve to continue fighting.

At least that nerve stimulator doesn’t hurt anymore. Dr J had explained to him that his goal was to expand pain tolerance thresholds, not kill the ability to feel.
idk I feel like completely ruining someone's nerve endings will absolutely ruin their ability to either feel at all or feel nothing but pins and needles like everything is perpetually "asleep". And as someone with minor nerve damage, that is fucking hell to deal with. Sure you get used to it, but it still fucking sucks.

“I must admit, boy,
*has flashbacks to Rachel's RPs*

I’m not pleased with how he does his so-called ‘experiments’, but when you work with assholes like him…”
Aodhan rubbed his bandaged cheek. “Don’t call me ‘boy.’”
Good job standing up for yourself, I'm proud of you, kiddo.

He followed Dr J through several metal, claustrophobia inducing hallways. If he was a little taller, he’d have to stoop down slightly to avoid hitting his head on the ceiling.
are they in the space equivalent of a bunker or something? why are the ceilings so low??

“Dekim wants to start you on the next phase.” J opened a door and inside was some sort of virtual reality interface.
“What would that be?”
“It’s the desensitisation phase.
That is one of the actual soldier training things, yeah. Desensitising you to not just death but straight up murdering people. It basically goes "these people? your enemy. anyone we consider an enemy? trash. filth. on par with animals like wild feral dogs. subhuman. they're not worth the air they consume. keep them in your sights at all times and if they do anything even slightly sus? kill them first, ask questions after. no one will miss these subhumans. if you can eradicate all of them, all the better." Is that fucked up? Absolutely. Wanna know what else is fucked up? War.

That's why when Heero blows up a bunch of OZzies or Alliance mooks he doesn't even bat an eyelash, even goes as far as laughing maniacally in the beginning, but when he killed that little girl and her dog or Field Marshal Noventa that was a travesty, because to him, those aren't his enemies. War isn't fair and who gets hurt the most because of it? Civilians. 

A soldier needs to be able to kill. A good one keeps his emotions at bay on the battlefield…and then there’s Dekim, who wants you to kill without giving a damn.” Dr J looked at him then, seemingly hesitating.
I mean if it's your enemy then yeah, open season on them for a reason.

“So I get used to the idea of killing people.” Aodhan sounded so cold then, with a touch of disgust. He was training to be a soldier for OZ, yes, and every soldier had to go through that period where they got used to the idea of killing people. So why did everyone seem nervous?
“It’s also a simulator designed to test your abilities, see how far you’ve come. Test your reflexes and reactions.”
And also things like G-force tolerance I would imagine, so that he can make Zechs jealous later, which is why for my training meta I incorporated a lot from the air force insofar as like, the kind of training fighter jet pilots have to go through since they also deal with things like G-force.

Aodhan stepped inside. It looked like the inside of a mobile suit cockpit, something he wouldn’t touch until he was sixteen and able to go for his pilot exam.
lmao do you think terrorism gives a fuck about age restrictions???

Is the machine they’re training me for a mobile suit? Why don’t they just say that?
Because a Gundam is a very highly advanced mobile suit where the armour plating is coated with or otherwise made up of Gundanium and the reason why I said "coated with or otherwise made up of Gundanium" is because this isn't explained to us at any point how exactly the Gundams were built so I would have to look to UC for that and it is 0400 hours as I am typing this segment of the snark so do you honestly think I'm going to go looking for it? No.

He sat on the padded seat bolted to the floor.
I mean... Your car seats and piloting seats in aeroplanes are also bolted to the floor so like... That just makes sense I would think? 

It was stiff. There were, at the ends of the arms, a joystick like controller,
They look like a flight steering stick you would use for like a flight simulator and since there's two there's no doubt they can do other/multiple things depending on what buttons and switches are pressed to activate or disable different inputs but like. mobile suits do have a throttle, you have mobile suits that are geared for flight (the Aries) but... The Gundams all have them.

Listen, do you think After Colony explains how any of this fucking works??? no.

probably for the arms? There were two more immediately on either side, ones that could be slid back and forth.
okay that's your throttle controls and I think there's only one of those by the sticks but I know Wing has like. a lever that looks similar to a throttle thing on the ceiling.

don't ask what it does I know it's part of going into bird mode

do I look like I pilot XXG-01W because I do not 

On the floor were foot pedals
there's two of those obviously and I think depending on like, whatever else is going on, you can have them "locked" so they move together or you can use them individually depending.... 

and in front of him on some console were screens.
that makes up like the majority of the cockpit lmao everything in front of you is a screen and then you have a command console.

you have to do quite a bit of multi-tasking.

An assistant attached various electrodes to his head, presumably to test brain activity,
why? what is the point of that? like... you're not testing ZERO. 

before shutting the door, enveloping him in complete darkness.
I feel like there would be like. emergency lights at least? until you boot everything up.


Like this isn't pitch black. Is it turned off? No, it's probably in some kind of standby mode, but I'm sure there's like, some kind of emergency lighting somewhere so that if you're just sitting there at the bottom of a lake or something vibing as you prepare for, idk, the end of the world or whatever, you might need to see.


like you can still SEE THINGS it's not HOLY SHIT WHERE IS EVERYTHING I CAN'T SEE MY HANDS IN FRONT OF MY FACE HGISDG


and then this is when you only have like, one interface actually like, doing something. The view of the outside is turned off so you don't get any ambient lighting from your surroundings until you reactivate those.

also yes I realise this isn't XXXG-01W leave me alone it is quarter to 0500 at this point I wasn't going to hunt for pics from inside that cockpit when I had the perfect screencaps to ILLUSTRATE MY POINT using XXXG-00W0

Testing my skills, huh? He rested his hands on the joystick controls that probably have an actual name, one he didn’t know.
But shouldn't you theoretically kind of know what these things are called??? The fuck is OZ teaching their soldiers????

he's talking about these btw:


they help you steer, they have to do with thrust AND A BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS depending on idk whatever you have it set for do I look like a Gundam pilot

that being said I clearly know more than Aodhan which is fucking embarrassing for him

 It felt so natural. Not everyone who wanted to be a mobile suit pilot actually could. His father could.
I mean... Seis built mobile suits so that would make sense I would think. 

His uncle ‘half-asssed his way to glory’ (according to his father). He looked up at the screen, poised and ready.
Test me all you want, he thought, as the screens lit up. I’ll prove I’m not worthless.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS DOOHICKEY IS CALLED???

like Seis Clark, who is Heero's stepfather in FT, created the goddamn Leo, and you are telling me renamed Heero is like IDK WHAT ANYTHING IS in a fucking mobile suit cockpit???


I will say this cockpit doesn't look very, uh, ergonomic friendly lol

(Heero is piloting a space Leo btw, which is a regular Leo but painted purple and with extra boosters and what not so it can navigate better in space.)

he's just gonna press buttons until something works out for him I guess...?

*

It had been a month almost since Treize had heard anything. The reports he had, he read to the point of memorisation.
Treize must memorise a whole slew of shit. The names of everyone who died for peace, how much toilet paper he has at his estate, the reports some fucking 14 year old getting tortured somehow manages to sneak off to a computer in order to send them emails him....

No news is good news was a saying Treize was familiar with, but in the case of sending off a soldier-in-training to participate in Dekim’s attempt at world domination
wait wait wait

you know what Operation Meteor actually is??? what????????

at best, Treize sent off an OZ soldier-in-training to be a terrorist trying to destroy OZ

at worst, Treize sent off an OZ soldier-in-training to be a terrorist trying to destroy Earth

???

now it could be that because it's quarter after 0500 that my brain isn't working too well because the melatonin is kind of starting to take effect... but that doesn't make ANY AMOUNT OF SENSE

where everyone else had died was not comforting in the least. He needed to know. He was startled from his thoughts when the door flew open and standing in the doorway was a rather peeved looking man decked out in proper military dress.
well that's more description than FT gave Seis tbh we have ZERO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK HE LOOKS LIKE so like idk just assume he looks like his brother Trant? 

Treize nearly tore the report in half.
I doubt His Excellency startles that easy.

“Colonel.” The man’s voice was firm, his brown eyes piercing into Treize’s blue.
“Ah, Seis, I didn’t expect you back so soon.” Treize kept his voice light.
“Don’t act so blasé after sending my son on a suicide mission for Barton!”
finally someone understands what being a Gundam pilot is all about! because yes, the original Operation Meteor was basically a suicide mission. Go to Earth, cause as much death and destruction as possible, and die. Even the modified version where they're just going up against OZ the pilots were NOT EXPECTED TO SURVIVE. if worse came to worst you self detonated. which means you die.

(Unless you're Heero, whose saving grace was not staying inside Wing's cockpit, and instead stood out on the fucking hatch cover for whatever fucking reason.)

“Sir—” One of the security detail from outside the door came rushing in. Treize raised a hand.
“It’s fine. Please, give us our privacy.”
The door closed, the soldier looking very reluctant.
LOL.

“What are you accusing me of?”
Seis took a few steps into the room, his gaze steady.
“You send Aodhan, who is little more than a cadet at this point, to be a soldier for Barton’s little ‘operation’—and without clearing it with me first, which, by the way, I don’t appreciate very much.” His eyes narrowed. “Just what the hell did I do to you for my son to deserve this?”
Treize got up from his chair and went to the window.
“How did you find out?”
Seis laughed, bitterness dripping from it. “Are you seriously asking that of your best undercover agent, Treize? Do you think I don’t hear things in the underground?”
LMAO

Seis didn't do espionage for OZ that was Aoi, Heero's mother.

is seis going to turn into fujimiya aya or something after this

“Point taken. Is this why you came back? Do you think I can go and retrieve him?” Treize looked Seis directly in the eyes. “If he’s not dead from the experimental procedures or training, he is probably unfit for a return to society. At least for now.”
YOU DID THIS TO A FUCKING 14 YEAR OLD

Seis growled.
“Because of Dekim’s affiliations, my hands are tied. I cannot get your son for you. For now, he is lost—both to you and to us.”
Even I'm just like "wow that is a really dickish move!"

“You had no one with him?”
“I did,” Treize answered. “But they came back saying they had no idea where he went or what happened. All I have is the intel I am sent periodically from an IP address somewhere in L1, but no one can directly pinpoint it due to the dynamic nature of it. They might not even be from him. I’m sorry, Seis. But I know as much as you do right now.”
"Which is pretty much nothing!"

Honestly, you’d be better off if Aodhan were dead. You don’t want to see what kind of monster Dekim will make of him.
YOU DID THIS TO A FUCKING 14 YEAR OLD

WITHOUT PARENTAL PERMISSION

FOR WHAT? WHAT DO YOU EVEN GET OUT OF IT???

This fic is making me want to pour a vodka soda so I can cry into it and ponder what the fuck my younger self was thinking with all of this.