she made a smear campaign against me so now i'm snarking her RP game [7/10]

[omaewokorosu]

she made a smear campaign against me because i rejected her advances
Part 1 | Part 2
she made a smear campaign against me so now i'm snarking her RP game
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | INTERMISSION | Part 6 | Part 7

seven fucking parts jfc I don't think I've churned out something this fast since Melee School Boys: Battle of the Bands.

WHAT RP ARE WE DOING THIS TIME?
sticking with reintegration we are doing the last of the reintegration RPs. this one in particular is called The First Milestone and no, don't ask me what it's about, I have ZERO recollection of this even fucking happening lmao

Will Heero and Duo be OOC?
I hope to god Heero is not because I was the one tagging as him otherwise idk may Heero's look of judgement on my wall scroll cause me immense shame

Duo being OOC is a given at this point though.

THE CAST OF THE FIRST MILESTONE:
RACHEL THE DEMON as..........DUO MAXWELL
HIKARU YUY as............................HEERO YUY

The format is the same as it was in Part 6 because it's the easiest way to do this now lol

BOLD AND ITALICS = the RP text

ITALICS = RP tag rewrites, if there are any

REGULAR = everything else (commentary, etc.)

PRESENTING TO YOU...
Heero knew as soon as Duo had entered the room his purpose for being there. There was a game on tonight. Red Sox versus Yankees. Heero had already seen online headlines about riots breaking out over who might win, and fights breaking out at places such as Walmart. Heero already had the remote next to him, waiting. This was Heero’s idea of celebrating the first leg of recovery--sitting at home, on the couch, watching a baseball game for a team he didn’t care about, but cheered for anyway. It was one of the things they did to spend time together.

And Heero rather enjoyed it. Being close, close enough to touch. Sometimes, Heero pictured them really close, with his head on Duo’s shoulder, but often he pushed those images away. They were best friends. They were roommates. Sure they were close. But they weren’t that close. That was a line that couldn’t be crossed. He shook his head, ridding himself of the thoughts. He wasn’t sure why he even thought them, or what they meant. It was normal to want to be around your best friend, right?

Heero wasn’t exactly the best judge of what was normal and what wasn’t. That was still something he had to learn.

Oooookaaaaay a few things here that stand out to me:
1.) What is Rachel's obsession/borderline fetishisation of all things having to do with Boston? Like okay her brother lives there but that's still a weird thing to do like. If you're in love with it so much, why don't you marry it not move there? I remember her talking about how sexy the accent is (I don't see the appeal to be honest with you, it is one of the more annoying sounding accents imo) and how ~Irish~ everything is and just...

Hmm maybe it's fetishisation of Irish immigrants from the time of the Famine (when my Irish ancestors came over from Cork) that she also tried to get me to join her in? She even fetishised my (now ex) boyfriend/FWB whose family is from Scotland. Gross.

And then she turned around and accused me of fetishising Japanese culture and appropriating it becauase I am fluent in Japanese and used "ne?" in a fic once.

2.) do riots even break out over fucking stick ball? I've seen Handegg fans and hockey fans start riots. I don't think I've ever heard of a baseball riot but I'm sure it's happened...somewhere...maybe... Like. I don't think they're capable of it. But I could be wrong. It's just...what would there be to even fucking riot over?

(Then again Walmart caters to a lot of trashy clientele who throw hands over not getting a penny back. I've worked at one. I've seen it.)

3.) what is Heero even in recovery for? Substance misuse?

no that would be my Heero what would Rachel's Heero be "in recovery" for?

4.) if Heero was going to like a sport that involved balls of some kind it would probably be basketball I HAVE NO BASIS FOR THIS outside of the one time we are shown of him playing basketball in the most horrendously coloured gym uniform ever with shorts that are just decent and the fact that his seiyuu is a huge basketball fan (he's a Bulls fan). I also have Heero liking lacrosse and hockey and one of his kids plays hockey and probably runs up a huge dental bill.

5.) why does Heero think it's weird or whatever to want to lay his head on Duo's shoulder? "oh best friends don't do that" what are you even fucking talking about I did that with my besties all the fucking time why are men so afraid to show their buds any ounce of physical affection? that's toxic masculinity at its fucking finest I guess but like you literally FOUGHT A WAR WITH HIM AT YOUR SIDE for some of it BUT OH NO IF OUR SHOULDERS TOUCH IT MEANS YOU'RE GAY APPARENTLY

'cause every time we touch I feel the static
every time we kiss I feel I can fly

I feel like Cascada should be entering the chat

"it was normal to want to be around your best friend right?" omg. I literally LIVE WITH MINE as Heero clearly also does like.

IS IT NORMAL TO WANT TO BE AROUND YOUR FRIENDS, CHAT???

*puts is it normal to want to be around your best buds as a guy reddit into Google*

according to Reddit...yes it is normal.

6.) Heero you have to figure out what is normal for you because "normal" is very subjective.

writing Heero to Rachel's RP needs and specifications is exhausting to read I can only imagine how much it sucked to write

Duo was set for game night.  He’d been set all week, really.  He knew Heero didn’t really care about baseball but pretended to just for him, and he found the gesture...flattering.  It made him sort of giddy in a way he really didn’t like to think about.  Heero was not the type of guy he pictured doing stuff like that for just anybody.  To stay in the same room and play along made Duo feel...favored.

He walked in with a tray of chips and a small bowl of dip -- homemade of course -- and smiled at Heero already having the remote out.  “I don’t have to ask, do I?  I promise, I’ll try to be a little less scary than usual.  Didn’t make any bets with Hilde this time so I’m not buying her lunch if the Sox lose.”

Oh, Duo is one of those sports fans I guess, where he loses his fucking mind over nothing.

also idk why Duo finds it flattering? Heero would be one of those people who likes to "be alone together", where he's doing his own thing and the other person is doing their thing and they are sharing space with each other (by sitting on the couch together or otherwise being in the same vicinity). Like "I have the remote for you so you can watch your sportsball game but I'm gonna be reading a book/working/writing my novel/shitposting memes on Reddit/etc."

I cannot see Duo going through the effort of making dip for chips from scratch, he might be the kind of guy to get those like, Hidden Valley ranch dip packets or something but more often than not it would probably be store bought  in a jar that he pours out into a dip bowl or some shit.

Heero shrugged as he passed him the remote. “I don’t really mind how enthusiastic you get, just don’t spill the dip again like you did the last time the Sox won and I’ll be okay.” And don’t throw the remote like you did then either, Heero added in his head. You nearly scared the dog out the door.
“Game starts in five minutes,” he said. “So if you want to do anything before it starts, now’s your warning…” Heero’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Probably a late ‘congrats!’ on his first recovery milestone. He took out his phone and looked at the message.

WHAT RECOVERY MILESTONE ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT HERE, HEERO???

Spending the night with Duo? It’s game night. It was Hilde. Why was she texting him?
Yeah. Duo’s not making any bets with you, and I don’t care enough about baseball to make any either.
Not a minute later: So why do you watch it with him if you don’t care?
Heero blinked and stared at his screen. Because I like being with him.
And it was true. He did. If he were at a bar (which he wouldn’t be) or somewhere with a TV (like a restaurant or a pub or any other eatery), and there was a game on, he’d take that as his cue to leave. He couldn’t stand grown men wearing team jerseys booing and throwing chips and spilling their beer or Guinness or whatever just because the other team scored.

tbh that doesn't sound like baseball that sounds more like football...

But with Duo, he didn’t mind at all. It was weird. He moved his laptop to the side long enough to get up and grab two beers. Normally he didn’t drink, but he a.) had something to celebrate and b.) only really drank during games. He considered watching sports to be a ‘social activity’ and thus classified himself as a social drinker. He sat back down, perched his laptop on his lap again where it seemed to be glued on some occasions, and heard a voice on TV announce that, “Coming up next, we have the Boston Red Sox vs. the New York Yankees! Then after that, the evening news, where we will give live reports post-game.”

So... Are the Sox playing at Yankee Stadium? Or vice versa? Because it's usually Team 1 at Team 2. Or that's how it is with hockey. Like "Montreal Canadiens at NJ Devils" means the Canadiens are playing at Prudential against the Devils. So for the Devils it's a home game.

I CAN ONLY GIVE HOCKEY EXAMPLES IT'S THE ONLY SPORT I AM INTIMATELY FAMILIAR WITH that isn't bowling!

Also it's funny that I had Heero not drinking in this because my Heero is by default a very functional alcoholic so him drinking beer is extra funny to me. It would be like drinking tap water. Not even the filtered stuff. Like he could have a 12 pack and it would be like drinking a 12 pack of Polar seltzer cans lmao

Heero found himself a little closer to Duo than he usually was on the couch. He blamed it on the fact that the cushions had a permanent ‘butt dent’ in them from the constant use, so they sort of sank in the middle. He could always move somewhere else, but he didn’t really want to. Besides, Duo could shove him away at any point. Or pull him closer. Why the hell did he think that? Why would Duo pull him closer except maybe if the Sox kicked the Yankees’ asses. If Duo got beer on his laptop, he’d kick him out.

Except he wouldn’t.
...well maybe he would. But he’d be kind of lonely. There’s a word Heero never thought he’d ever think: lonely. But he truly did enjoy Duo’s company, especially right now when they were almost hip-to-hip.

omg just fucking bang already I'm bored

and maybe you, the reader, are bored too, so have a picture of my cat Morticia in her shark bed:


She always has her murder claws out and ready lmao the shark's name is Lord Jabun.

Yes. After Lord Jabun from Wind Waker.

Duo took the beer from him, clinking the bottlenecks together in thanks.  Almost a ritual of theirs whenever Heero decided to drink.  He opened the bottle with his teeth as usual, taking the bent cap and setting it down on the tray.  Probably a bad idea and he knew his dentist would yell at him but he just couldn’t be arsed to do it any other way.

That's one way to lose a few teeth. Like. You can get bottle cap openers that fit on your keychain, there is no excuse for doing this. "Couldn't be arsed" IT TAKES LONGER TO USE YOUR TEETH

Duo is gonna have dentures by 25 at this rate.

The discussion my wife and I had about this:
me:
Rachel has Duo opening a beer bottle cap with his teeth and I don't think I have to tell you how fucking stupid that is

Serena:
how many teeth did he chip/lose?

me:
none apparently

Serena:
wow, he must have teeth like a mutant

me:
I mean he is from V8745...or whatever the number is

Serena:
mmm must be that space radiation

(Duo is actually from V08744 so I was off by one number lmao.)

He took a short sip of it, setting it down on the coffeetable.  To be fair, he wasn’t as nuts as some of his colleagues at the scrapyard got.  But as both teams geared up for the opening pitch, he sat forward, elbows braced on his knees.  Even as much as he was anticipating the game, he couldn’t ignore that Heero’s leg was right against his almost.  Not that he minded.

You better have it on a drink coaster or so help me.

Also if Duo runs his own business does he even have dental insurance?

Wait, what?
No, he really didn’t mind.  Not as much as everyone would expect from him.  And that Heero wasn’t trying to make a DMZ with the couch pillows anymore was kind of an improvement.  Okay, a big improvement.

I characterise Heero as touch-starved-touch-averse (which yes you can be both! it's very common in people with trauma!) so I can see Heero sitting on the opposite side of the couch to make sure Duo couldn't really touch him, but accidental touch (elbowing him, etc) isn't like, the end of the world.

He watched as the first pitch was thrown.  “Aaaaaand here we go!”

Who is throwing the opening pitch? Someone from the Yankees or someone from the Sox?? Like Duo could be like, "Oooh yay [pitcher from the Red Sox] is playing today's game it'll be a good opening pitch!" but why would Rachel include any details like that it would be like if they were watching hockey and fucking no one says anything about anyone when like, I would be having Duo (or whoever the hockey fan is) go "oh Lundquist is tending tonight it's gonna be hard for the Bruins to get a goal in this is gonna be good".

(Yes I know Lundquist is retired. I don't keep up with the Rangers and haven't since my brother and I stopped living together. He's the Rangers fan, I am not.)

Heero put his laptop away. He knew Duo would end up bouncing on the couch at some point, and it was better to be safe rather than having to spend more money on a new laptop. Unlike Duo, Heero used a bottle opener for his beer, though he could easily open it with just his hands. His cap went to join Duo’s and he took a swig, leaning back into the couch while Duo leaned forward. He tried to relax, tried to get comfortable, and ended up with his knee against Duo’s. He stared at it for a bit until he realised that shit like that happens when your couch isn’t big enough. He took another sip of beer before bracing it on the arm of the couch and grabbing a chip loaded with homemade French onion dip.

everytime_we_touch_cascada.mp3 intensifies

Which was, of course, orgasmic. Or it would have been if Heero knew what an orgasm even felt like.

*SPEWS TIM HORTONS COFFEE EVERYWHERE* 

He did hum in approval though. If it was one thing he had to pick to love about Duo, it was his cooking and how he liked to watch him putter around the kitchen, focus on what his hands were doing, how much thought he put not just into the preparation of everything, but how it looked on their plates or serving tray.

And he always hoped Duo wouldn’t take notice, because who the hell stared at someone while they cooked? No one...except him, of course. Heero wiped some dip off the corner of his mouth with his thumb and thought of Duo licking it off instead. He blinked in confusion. What the hell was up with all of these intrusive thoughts? And why were they happening more and more lately, especially whenever they did innocent things like watch TV or eat together? People only had those kinds of thoughts if they loved--

Heero nearly spilled his own beer, felt like someone dumped a gallon of ice cold beer over his head. He even shivered, hoped Duo didn’t notice that.
There was no way in Hell (or Heaven, or the Afterlife, the Great Beyond, whatever the hell anyone wanted to call it), no way in the Earth Sphere, no way in space he loved Duo. Duo was his best friend, his rock, his roommate. He’d cried on his shoulder more times than he would ever admit and he’d take the fact that it happened at all to his grave. Who the hell fell in love with their roommate?

What's wrong with falling in love with your best friend? I fell in love with mine–twice (two different people). I married the second one. Like I don't get people who can just speedrun friendships in order to get to the romance level of Friendship. I need that emotional connection before I can even consider wanting to date them.

Apparently he did. But he was also crazy. A recovering crazy person, but still crazy enough to be called “crazy”.

I'm sorry I don't see that in either the DSM-IV or DSM-V what is that actually diagnosed as?

 And besides, Duo had never given off any sort of ‘vibe’ or any hint of being interested, so it was probably all in his head anyway. He couldn’t have Duo know. That would just make things awkward. And what if they broke up? He’d have to move. He’d lose his best friend, his rock, and his roommate all in one shot. There were boundaries that couldn’t be crossed and that...that was one that Heero couldn’t let anyone cross. Because Duo deserved someone so much less crazy (that is, someone normal) than him.

Shit. He reached for another chip and tried to keep his head together.

I don't think the french onion dip is gonna help with that, bud.

Duo arched a brow sidelong at him with interest.  Heero didn’t usually...pay attention to the game itself.  He generally followed Duo’s cues of when to be glad (or annoyed) that someone scored.  But he took it as a good thing.  Especially when he watched him take one of the chips and make that noise.

He’d caught him watching a few times while he cooked, but hadn’t thought much of it.  It was, more than anything, seeing the way Heero appreciated the end result that he could never stop staring at.  The face and sound he made, the ones that forced Duo to fight down a blush.

He blushed far more often at his roommate than any roommate really should.  And he knew damned well why.  He’d known why since before the end of the war, and that torch had never quite gone out.  Had never really diminished, either.  He’d just leave it someplace and forget about it for a bit, and before he even realized it it would be back in his hands and he’d be cursing at it and trying not to slam his head on the nearest wall.

He tried.  He really did.  He tried to ignore those thoughts, those feelings.  He’d written it off as impossible long ago, and Heero didn’t need this.  Heero needed to heal, and having a best friend in love with him for years when he just didn’t return it was not going to help that.  And so Duo kept his mouth shut, tried to forget, tried to make that part of his brain shut up.

Oh great, the talking heads were on.  His attention was diverted enough now that he actually felt warm leg against his shudder a bit.  He blinked, turning around to look at him.  As usual, that look was unreadable.  “Uh...Heero?  You okay?”

idk does Heero seem to be doing okay to you, Duo

"make that noise" WHAT KIND OF NOISE goddammit Rachel you can't write description, not even an ounce of it, if your life fucking depended on it, can you

Duo blushing p much every possible chance he's able to at Heero is so very Yuuki Miaka of him tbh

Heero looked at Duo. “Yeah, I’m fine. I had a chill, that’s all.” It wasn’t exactly a lie since he did have a chill--an orgasmic one from the chip dip and a shock of realisaton that he was in love with his best friend when he really, really shouldn’t be. Not when he didn’t deserve to be in love with him in the first place. He scooped up more dip and ate it silently.

Well, until there was a home run made by the Sox. Then he turned to Duo and asked, “A home run is good, right?”

"A goal in hockey is good right?"
"If it's your team scoring it, yeah."

He didn’t know shit about baseball except that they threw a ball and hit it with a stick and people ran around trying to catch it. He’d been watching baseball with Duo for months. This was the first time he was actually interested. And he didn’t know why, because he thought baseball was kind of boring. He leaned forward, and not only was his knee touching Duo’s, but their shoulders were too.

everytime_we_touch_cascada.mp3 intensifies more

 This couch was too small. That was Heero’s excuse. Sure. Small couch. Barely enough for two people and a bowl of chips.

“The Yankees look disappointed. They can suck a dick.” He blinked. “Right?”

It's like if Starfire from Teen Titans was watching some sportsball thing and trying really hard to join in with Cyborg and Beast Boy (and maybe Robin) and they would just be like "...yeah, sure, Star!"

Heero was the worst sports fan in the history of shit sports fans and he knew it.

Duo blinked at him, then grinned.  “A home run is excellent.  And I doubt the Yankees know how to suck a dick, but it’ll be fun watching them try.”

He really didn’t mind the knee touching thing.  Really didn’t mind it.  Especially in combination with Heero’s utterly adorable attempt at being a baseball fan.  It...made him feel bold.  Dangerously bold.  Like he could do something totally fucking crazy and it might just…

No!

The word and the warning in his mind came far too late as he leaned over and playfully snatched a chip out of Heero’s hand.  Teeth just brushing the ends of his fingers.

Uhhhh here I was thinking Duo took it with his fingers and I wondered why the fuck there were teeth on his fingertips and what Eldritch cosmic horror Duo was slowly turning into... No. He leaned over and took the chip with his teeth for some fucking reason. Like how is that even playful??

Oh God you stupid son of a bitch why did you do that?!

Well that's a really harsh thing for Duo to think about himself... Like uncharacteristically harsh.

He looked back at the TV, not wanting to see that reaction.  To see the sheer dipshit he just made of himself.

Heero flushed when he realised what Duo did. Especially since Duo took a chip that had journeyed halfway to his mouth. Any closer and--
No.
His heart was pumping faster, adrenaline kicking in and he didn’t know why. Duo had just stolen a chip. Their chips. Like a player who successfully stole a base. Wow. Heero knew more about baseball than he gave himself credit for.

I mean it's not that hard to understand really.

Two could play at that. He reached for Duo’s beer and took a large swig of it, but not before being extremely suggestive while grabbing the neck of the bottle. He placed it in between Duo’s legs, his forearm brushing against his thigh.

Wait so Heero placed Duo's beer between Duo's legs and then grabbed it? Or...? 

Heero’s face felt hot. Jesus, what was he doing, what sort of game was he playing? He smirked before swallowing, then sat back and ate another chip just as the Sox scored again.

What are you fucking doing??? You are sitting right on the IC-OOC Line and your feet are dangling over the OOC side. One wrong move and—

He was feeling oddly competitive. It thrilled him a little bit. This was dangerous, had him teetering on the edge of something. One slip, and he’d fall off that cliffside.

OH SO YOU'RE AWARE YOU'RE GONNA FALL ONTO THE OOC SIDE AND YOU JUST DON'T CARE

He’d risk it.

You know what to distract from this mess, here's a picture of Morticia sleeping on the couch:


isn't the Tiny Queen so fucking adorable???

Maybe it was the alcohol.  No, it had to be the alcohol.  Had to be.

Heero's had like three sips of beer if he's this shitfaced there is a Problem considering the alcohol per volume is like. nothing. 

He shuddered, visibly, as he watched him grab the bottle like that and drink it like that and put it back there and lean back with that smirk, barely even noticing the Sox scoring.  Because he was too busy being grateful the beer was still ice cold.

Duo visibly shuddered as he watched Heero seductively grab the ice cold bottle of beer, the condensation dripping down the sides and wetting Heero's hand. Duo couldn't help but lick at suddenly dry lips as Heero put the bottle to his own and took a long gulp, his adam's apple bobbing with each one, causing Duo to imagine something else at Heero's mouth. Before Duo could get too carried away by his fantasy, Heero placed the bottle back between Duo's thighs and smirked at him like nothing happened. Duo was so distracted he missed the Red Sox score a home run.

What the hell was this turning into?  Was he…?  No.  He couldn’t be.  Heero was not into him.

Why would Heero basically fellate a beer bottle that is yours and is in between your thighs if he wasn't into you??? 

He was being a troll.  It was probably the meds.

Oh yeah I'm sure Zoloft causes people to do shit like this all the time. (In her fic, Rachel has Heero taking Zoloft, an SSRI that she also took at the time.) 

Probably something the therapist told him to do.  To break out of his shell.
Probably something his therapist suggested he do to break out of his shell

Rachel do you not know actual fucking sentence structure

STOP FRAGMENTING YOUR SENTENCES FOR NO FUCKING REASON

This...this wasn’t serious and he needed to stop hoping and...fuck.  Fuck.

He swallowed thickly, turning back to the game and taking another chip to disguise how bad his hands were shaking.

Heero frowned. Okay. Since Duo hadn’t reacted to what he did, not in the slightest…

Duo is ruining his own chances, bb, this has nothing to do with you

I would've jumped your bones and we would've been fucking on the couch or the floor or something at this point

Heero got up from the couch and made a bee-line for the bathroom. At least there he could have a breakdown and not give a shit. He closed the door and locked it before sliding to the floor and just...breathing.

Heero: Your roommate is a fucking idiot. This has nothing to do with you. Your roommate...is a fucking idiot... This has nothing...to do...with you...

Accept that he’s not into you, never will be into you, never was into you. No one wants something that’s broken in a million pieces. No one wants to date their best friend. That’s a conflict of interest.

what are you even talking about

my wife and I started out as friends on a Discord server and then we became best friends and then I asked her out and now we're married like.

He sighed, got up from the floor and flushed the toilet so Duo wouldn’t suspect a thing. Not that Duo would anyway since Heero normally had his I hate myself soliloquys in there. He left the bathroom and sat back down, at the far end of the couch. There was no point in attempting to flirt anymore when he knew Duo didn’t want it.

I feel so sad for him tbh omg

Come here, bb let me love you *glares at this Duo*

Duo looked up as Hero came back in.  His expression was readable for once, and...distinctly not happy.  Or at least it looked that way.  “You...you sure you’re okay?”

NO HE'S NOT YOU FUCKING IGNORAMOUS OF A SEA URCHIN

ALSO



"Hero"? Who the fuck is that?

Did you mean Heero?

but according to Rachel I'm the one who has no idea wtf they're doing but here she is fucking spelling a canon character's fucking name wrong without even noticing

what a fuckin stunad

"But Karu what if it was autocorrect?"
Then you can backspace once to undo it ask me how I know it's not like I write fanfiction on my phone or anything and have to wrangle with uncorrecting it from "Hero" back to "Heero" like I'd typed it a million and one fucking times no no...

it's H E E R O Rachel do I need to spell his surname too it's Y U Y

He was cold before, right?  Right.  Duo grabbed the throw from the back of the couch, bringing it around his shoulders and smoothing it.  A little too long.  Touching him a little too much.  And at this point he just didn’t care.

Hold up. Who is Duo talking about? Who does the "he" in "he was cold before" and the "his" in "around his shoulders" refer to? Duo? Heero?

Rachel, these have to clearly refer back to someone. Like... Heero said he was cold before, right? Right. Duo grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch and brought it around Heero's shoulders before smoothing it out. Duo touched him a little too long, a little too much; at this point he just didn't care. Otherwise these "he"s and so forth don't refer back to anyone. Otherwise it could be easily misconstrued to be referring back to Duo and then it doesn't make sense.

He was barely paying attention to the game now.  And it didn’t escape his notice that this was the first and only time in his life that that’d ever happened.

Is it Duo who isn't paying attention to the game or Heero?

Jesus fucking Christ, no.

??? What is this even about? The fact that he's never not paid attention to baseball? What?

He kept his hands on Heero’s shoulders, biting his lip as though to scold himself.

I would suggest that you remove your hands from Heero's shoulders and mind yourself.

Heero blinked. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He wasn’t, but by this point saying he was fine was reflexive. He noticed how Duo’s attention was away from the game and thought that odd. It wasn’t like him to miss a single game, let alone put it on and then completely ignore it. Especially when the Sox were winning three--now four--to nothing.
“I should be asking if you’re okay. You’re not watching the game.” He pressed a hand to Duo’s forehead, then his cheek, checking for signs of a fever. He did feel a little warm, but not feverish. “They’re winning.”

His hand lingered on his cheek for too long. He hastily pulled it away and went back to his corner of the couch, pulling the throw closer.
“If I’m too much of a distraction, I can go somewhere else.” He didn’t want to, but if Duo honestly didn’t want him there anymore, he’d leave.

Honestly I feel like Heero should've left after leaving the bathroom, made up some excuse like "I suddenly don't feel very well" before heading to his bedroom or wherever. 

He was used to not being wanted.

I feel like that's not really a thought Heero would have? I don't think Heero would care if someone wanted him hanging around them or not? 

He ran a hand through his hair. He was supposedly better now. Why didn’t he feel better?

Medications aren't a cure all...?

Is there a pill that can get rid of these feelings so I’m not trying to love someone I can’t ever have?

Unfortunately no, Heero. There isn't. But then again you are in the future so who knows, maybe there is. Ask your doctor?

Duo smiled a bit at him asking that, for just a moment enjoying that hand on his face.  Since it was probably the last time that would ever happen.  He shook his head at the suggestion, rubbing his back through the throw.

“Nonsense.  You’re not the kind of distraction I mind.”

Oh God what am I even.

His hand slowed, but didn’t stop.  He looked up at the TV again, trying to make it seem like absent touching and failing so hard he could feel it.

Meanwhile I'm just yelling "PLEASE REMOVE YOUR HAND FROM HEERO KTHNX" and wondering why I didn't have Heero just fucking go back to his room.

Heero moved closer. And closer. ...They were cuddling. There. He said it. They were cuddling. Heero had the blanket though, so there wasn’t touching touching. Not that he would have minded. His head was on Duo’s shoulder, face inches away. Heero didn’t care because it wasn’t like Duo would kiss him or anything anyway.

omg how old are you in this? 14??? Like holy fuck this is so juvenile it's painful at this point. Why did I write Heero this way?

(We all know why.) 

He’d never been kissed to begin with. Yankees scored, and Heero groaned.
“At this point they should just give up. They’re not going to win anyway.” Much like I’m never going to get a chance to say that I like you.

Duo tugged him closer with an arm around him, stroking his fingers along Heero’s shoulder over the blanket and unable to help feeling so...amazed at how natural it was.  Like they were meant to do that.  Like Heero was meant to fit so perfectly against him and oh my god stop that stop it right now but he wouldn’t and he knew it.

It's like two 14 year olds on a couch together giggling because omg they're cuddling??? omg does this mean they might get a date to the spring formal???

“They should give up because they’re the Yankees.  But...it wouldn’t be the first time they pulled it out of the fire and you gotta give credit where it’s due.”

He raised a hand to smooth Heero’s hair from his forehead.

fucking. stop it please. MY skin is crawling at this point because this whole hair smoothing thing just seems very...idk. Infantilising? Feminising? towards Heero. 

He didn’t even know what he was doing anymore.  Only that he wanted to touch him and not the blanket and this was the only way he could without being so damned awkward.

idk about that chief I think this is pretty fucking awkward because you are brushing his hair out of his face like he's your fucking girlfriend or something and Heero is a guy last I knew like I feel like Duo wants to put one of those clip in hair bows and barettes in Heero's hair and call him "pretty" and try to idk ukefy him.

Heero laughed a little. Jesus even his laugh sounded awkward.

Awkward in the "I want to tell him I'm not into this sort of thing but I'm afraid he'll escalate to something even worse" sense perhaps... 

He stared into Duo’s eyes, mesmerised.

Did my younger self just turn Heero into a fucking uke

younger me blink twice if you need help 

He always did like his eyes, the strange shade of blue that they were. Sometimes, in certain lighting, they looked almost a strange shade of violet, like cobalt glass. Blue if you stared at it in normal lighting, blue, almost purple in some strange, unnatural light. Still very, very beautiful and Heero could gaze into them for eons if he was allowed to, and he found himself getting closer and closer to Duo’s face.

how Yuuki Miaka of him

“Aaaaaaand Martinez goes to steal first base!” the announcer yelled, right as Heero brushed his lips against Duo’s, holding them there for only a few seconds before pulling away.
“He was successful! Yankees stole first base!”
Heero thought it was oddly appropriate that not only was first base stolen in a baseball game, but he’d just stolen Duo’s first base. His lips tingled.

*groans at the awful baseball pun*

Then he realised what he’d just done.
He kissed him again, this time for two seconds longer and with his fingers knitted in Duo’s shirt.

ngl I think I might've actually seen this in Fushigi Yuugi at some point between like idk Taka and Miaka maybe (I don't think it would've been Tamahomeboy but I could be wrong) HEERO YOU ARE NOT MIAKA (or Tamahome for that matter) STOP IT

Duo’s voice trailed off at that stare, only managing a thick swallow.while his hand continued to slide up and down that arm.  Those intense dark eyes that seemed to pull him in no matter what, that he couldn’t help but stare into a little too long and a little too much.

Dark eyes...? Who? Heero?

Heero doesn't have dark eyes.




(All pictures taken from Endless Waltz.)

Intense eyes, yes–Prussian blue is a very intense shade of blue. But it's a medium blue. As you can clearly see.

He barely realized it when those lips brushed over his for that fleeting second.  For a moment he thought he’d imagined it.  That his overactive and needy mind had just plain hallucinated the entire damned thing.

But then the second kiss came.

He didn’t let Heero pull away this time.  He gripped his arms, groaning at those fingers tangled in his shirt and sucking on his lips and not caring if he ever breathed again.

Well I don't think Heero wants to kiss a dead person.

Heero let out a gasp. Or he would have, had Duo’s mouth not been covering his. Maybe he gasped into his mouth. He didn’t care, he couldn’t think straight anyway.

Probably because he isn't straight eyyyyy 

He wanted more, craved for more, a man who had just tasted something absolutely divine and wanted more of it to eat. But Heero was nervous too, nervous because he had never done this ‘kissing’ thing before,

Just...let intuition guide you...? 

let alone how to deepen it

Don't think too deeply about it...? 

or, God forbid, do something like ‘French kiss’ or hell, ‘make out’.

Are deep kissing, french kissing, and making out not the same fucking thing?? 

Was making out second or third base? Should he attempt to steal it?

*groans from bad puns*

But what if Duo had done this sort of thing before with someone else?

*unenthusiastically* Oh no... 

He pulled away, not forcefully or anything, but he certainly broke the kiss and breathed like he hadn’t breathed in months as he pressed his forehead to Duo’s, moving his hand to Duo’s face to cup his cheek. The chip bowl was in the way, so Heero moved it off the couch. The way things were headed, it’d end up on the floor.

I'll be honest. The way you would think they were acting, like they really want each other and want to fuck each other, that no one would give a fuck if the Tostitos or whatever end up on the floor, or if the "homemade" french onion dip totally not made by Wise or something ended up on the carpet you're supposed to be like jerking each other off or whatever who fucking cares???

Shit, what the hell were they doing? They shouldn’t be doing something like this. You didn’t kiss your best friend.

*looks at my wife* Oops. 

You didn’t make out with them either.

Double oops. 

Or… Heero flushed just thinking about what came after things like that.

HOW VERY YUUKI MIAKA OF HIM 

No. They had to have some kind of self-control, goddammit. But God, that mouth…

Heero decided he didn’t give a shit anymore. He rubbed his nose against Duo’s briefly before kissing him again, a bit more forceful this time as he threw his arms around Duo’s neck, moving so he was almost in his lap. He wasn’t sure he was doing this right--it never occurred to him to Youtube this shit, or at least look up a ‘how to kiss like the God of Kissing’ sort of guide on the internet.

Oh my god why does it matter like

you're 21 years old in this apparently so like. Why are you acting like a 14 year old girl who's at her crush's house and they're watching a movie on TV on the couch trying to not jump each other until FINALLY THEY DO? 

Mostly because he never thought anyone would be kissing him at all, let alone him kissing someone.

Especially kissing Duo. He only hoped that Duo was enjoying it just as much as he was, and given that Heero was moaning a little, that was a good sign.

god this is just really fucking hard to read I'm sorry but like. This Heero can drown in Lake OOC for all I fucking care lmao

Duo took the chance to catch his breath, more than prepared when Heero kissed him a third time, pulling him into his lap proper and giving back that kiss as good as he was getting.  He caught Heero’s lower lip between his own, sucking and tugging on it while his hand rested on Heero’s neck.

Now would be the perfect time to strangle him.

He could finally admit it now.  He’d wanted this for years.  He’d had dreams about it, dreams where he did a hell of a lot more than just kiss him.  He felt like someone had just sprung open a floodgate in his brain and there went the neighborhood.

He parted from it again, though he really didn’t want to, panting against his lips and stroking Heero’s cheek with his thumb.  He was already hard and with the way they pressed against each other he was sure he could probably feel it.

“Heero…”  Even his voice was breathless.  He kissed his chin, tugging on his lip again briefly.  “Heero, I…”

Why are you always kissing his chin and pulling on his lower lip there are so many more things you can do and yet

For as wordy as he normally was, Mr. I Have a Comeback For Everyone, for the first time in his life he couldn’t think of a single fucking thing to say.

Maybe he's short circuited which is fine. No one replace the batteries or redo the wiring pls.

Heero could definitely feel something pressing against him, which he took as a Very Good Thing because that meant that Duo definitely enjoyed what he was doing. He pressed another kiss to Duo’s mouth. He didn’t need Duo to say anything. The fact that he hadn’t been pushed away said enough. More than enough. He kissed Duo’s jaw, all along it before trailing more down his neck, moving his arms so one was in his hair, the other pressed against the small of his back.

Okay what is this sentence even

Should that not be He kissed all along Duo's jaw before trailing more down his neck; Heero moved his arms so he could grab hold of Duo's hair and press the tips of his fingers into the small of his back ? Otherwise it sounds like his arms are in Duo's hair and the small of his back and that doesn't sound comfortable for literally anyone.

The farther he went, the more he craved Duo, the more he wanted him, the further he wanted to go.

He stopped and pulled away, breathless, face burning as his eyes sought Duo’s. He ran a hand through his own hair before looking away.
“If we… If we don’t stop…” He sounded like he ran two marathons. “We’re going to… We’re going to end up…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

Heero is either fully Priestess of Suzaku like OH WE CAN'T DO THINGS I MUST REMAIN PURE AND UNSULLIED BY THE MENS or he's a fucking IF WE DON'T STOP YOU'LL GRAB ME WITH YOUR YAOI HANDS AND FORCEFULLY TAKE ME uke who may or may not end up weeping everywhere. 

“That’s… That’s frowned upon by your…” He couldn’t think either. “Your people.” He’d meant religion, but he guessed that worked too.

Duo has a religion?

But fuck if he didn’t want all of him.

Duo shuddered at those lips on his neck.  Shuddered and moaned.  They were hot and soft like he’d imagined,

Damn Heero must use a fuckton of lip balm or something 

and the tiny scrapes of his teeth and oh god he didn’t want this to be over, ever.  His hands clutched at Heer’s shoulders,


I highlighted it so you can better see it in the screenshot like. Rachel, why do you have such trouble spelling Heero's name right? Is it not actually Heero? But Heer (whoever that is)? Because that would make sense why this doesn't sound like Heero...

his back, casting off the blanket because the last thing he needed now was another layer of material to work through.

He shivered for a moment when Heero pulled away again, but he didn’t want to rush anything.  To ruin this.  To hurt him by asking for more than he wanted to give.  He pressed his lips to Heero’s temple, speaking there

Ugh can we stop with the ukefication of Heero please? It's really fucking annoying

, his voice hoarse and rough and strained with how much restraint it was taking not to shove him down into the couch right now.

“I don’t care what they would frown upon.  I don’t want to stop…”

You're not even Catholic so why would you even fucking care if they frowned upon what you're doing???

Something inside Heero snapped. He slid on the couch, now half lying on it before pulling Duo on top of him, his mouth meeting Duo’s, hand in his hair. He moaned as he licked Duo’s lip, wanting permission, needing permission, to cross that line he kept telling himself he would never cross. He was preparing to jump over it head first and with no tether to save him when he would inevitably fall.

There would be no going back.

He pressed himself against Duo, body heavy with need and want. He nipped at Duo’s lip, felt it swell under his tongue, felt something else swell between his legs and any last bits of restraint Heero had was gone, thrown out the window. His hands went under Duo’s shirt and felt warm flesh littered with scars. He traced one with his thumb, kept his hands above the belt. Should they go slow or fast? What hurry were they in? Sure he wanted Duo and he wanted him like burning and he wanted him now, but he didn’t want everything over in three minutes and years later forget how everything felt.

ngl that'll probably happen anyway

He wanted to remember how it felt when Duo first touched him, first kissed him, first felt inside of him. As it stood, it would already be memorable because this was the first time Duo had ever been pulled away from the allure that was the Red Sox. It would be special because Heero was the one who did it.

The Red Sox better win, because otherwise… Things would be less special and there would be a lot of disappointment. And the last thing Heero wanted was to remember how disappointed Duo was after his first time because the Sox lost to the goddamn Yankees.

Duo eagerly leaned into that invitation, opening his mouth to that kiss and slipping his arms under him to cradle him

CAN WE STOP CRADLING HEERO IN EVERY RP FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST 

up close against him.  He wasn’t going to rush this, no matter how badly he wanted to just tear Heero’s clothes off and have him.  He wasn’t going to let something he’d waited for for five goddamned years

I am guessing 5 years post Endless Waltz so that would make them 21 and like I'd initially thought they were like 25ish but they still seemed too young for that and. well. they're barely out of teenagerhood. 

and given up on for three of those years be over before he knew it.  Moreover, he wasn’t going to hurt him.  He didn’t think he could live with himself if he did.

He pulled away from that kiss just enough to speak, brushing Heero’s cheek with the back of his hand.  He didn’t want to ask, didn’t think he had the right to ask, but knew he had to.  He had to know or this could be extremely painful and he didn’t want that.

“H-Have you...ever…?”

"Have you ever taken it up the butt?"

I'm just imagining him blushing like oh no I asked my crush if he's ever had anything up his butt I will never live this down!

He couldn’t even spit the words out.  Damned Catholic guilt.

Duo sure went from "I don't give a fuck about what the Catholic church thinks" to "I do care what God thinks holy fuck I'm going to hell I'm gonna have to go to Confession, I'm–"

“Have I ever…?” At first Heero had no idea what Duo was trying to ask.

Are you that much of an idiot? 

Then it hit him. Duh. He shook his head. “No. No… You would be my first.” He practically whispered it. “You’re my first everything.”

And Miaka!Heero blushes and looks away because my goodness he can't believe he's admitting this to Tamahome!Duo (who is also sometimes Miaka!Duo it's so confusing) and wonders if needing to remain unsullied in order to summon Suzaku applies to everyone or just priestesses and not, you know, priests.

Part of him--most of him, who was he kidding?--hoped that he was Duo’s first too, but the other part, the part that hoped he had experience, laughed at that thought. Duo could have anyone he wanted. Why would he want him of all the people in the universe?

“It’s… It’s okay if you don’t… If you don’t want to.”

uwu
👉🏻👈🏻

He looked away. “I don’t expect you to want to…” After all, if Heero set his expectations too high, he’d only have a bigger distance to fall once the reality of everything knocked him down.
“I want to, but…” He gave a little shrug. “If you don’t, that’s okay.”

Heero fully expected to die alone anyway.

jfc Heero

Rather than be smug, like the world would have expected of him, Duo nuzzled his neck softly.  “...Thank you.”

What are you thanking Heero for? Being a virgin in his vagina bumhole? 

He couldn’t quite resist pressing a little kiss there, before leaning back once more to face him, just blinking at what came out of his mouth next.

But then that surprised and bewildered look melted into a smile, and he pressed his hips such that the hard swell between his legs pressed against the crease of Heero’s thigh.  “Mmmh…  Does that feel like I don’t want to?”

He leaned down to touch their foreheads together again.  “...I’ve wanted you since before the end of the war.”

He said it.  He fucking said it.

OHHH_crowd_cheer.ogg vuvuzela.wav 

There was no going back now.  Heero knew.  He didn’t have to hide it anymore.  Just the relief of that made his shoulders nearly buckle, and he bit his lip waiting for that answer.  Vaguely wondering if he hadn’t just ruined everything.

God everyone's biting everyone's lips including their own here like jfc

Heero moaned as he felt that hardness against his thigh. Shit. All of that just from kissing?
“N-No… That feels… That feels like a ‘yes I want you’...” He stared directly into Duo’s eyes upon hearing the confession, his breathing a little on the erratic side.
“...You mean to tell me you shooting at me multiple times was really just your way of saying, ‘Hey, I like you’?” He didn’t mean for it to sound so angry. Or hostile. Really he was just surprised, caught a little off guard.
“...but I guess that’s okay because I…” Could he even say it? “...I couldn’t imagine fighting without you.”

*beats Heero over the head with Fushigi Yuugi omnibus edition #3 repeatedly*

Well, that was as close to an ‘I love you’ as he could get without horribly embarrassing himself. He’d have to accept it. “I could do without the others, but not you.”

OKAY TAMAHOME WE GET IT WE GET IT you love Miaka!Duo it's fine we don't need the sap sap is for fertiliser in SDV not this.

Duo licked his lips at that moan, chuckling a little.  “I guess you could say it was a very...enthusiastic form of courtship.”

Good lord he sounded like a bad movie.  Really?  He was actually saying this?

But at that little confession, he paused.  He knew it shouldn’t surprise him, but it did anyway.  “I...couldn’t stand being without you, either.  That’s why…  That’s why I kept checking up on you after…  I couldn’t stand being away from you.”

*beats Duo over the head with that same Fushigi Yuugi volume* IT WAS CUTE WHEN MIAKA AND TAMAHOME WERE DOING IT IT'S NOT CUTE WITH THE TWO OF YOU

He pressed a palm over Heero’s chest, rubbing the middle of it.

Well that's fucking weird. 

“I don’t want to do this here.  I wanna do it right.”

There was a right way and a wrong way to go about these things? Well of course Duo would know.

Of course if anyone is gonna know it's the ones raised in or around or near the Catholic church lmao

(can confirm, raised in the Catholic church) 

Heero assumed he’d done this before, so he would know the right way to go about things. He assumed no one screwed on a couch,

*snerk*

so that meant they’d be on a bed. He guessed. Unless people did it on the floor. Heero didn’t know. He didn’t watch porn, he’d never done this before, and it wasn’t like he looked for this shit online.

*presses X to Doubt*

“...Who’s bedroom are we going to, then?”
That meant that they’d share a bed. Heero hadn’t thought this through at all. Was he ready for something like that? Sex was one thing. Bed sharing was another. Cuddling and kissing in bed was right up there too. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
“Your bed or mine?” He sat up a bit more, looked him up and down a bit before kissing him again, giving him just the slightest hint of tongue before pulling away.

After all, he wanted to give Duo a taste of what was to come...and leave him craving for more.

I fucking hate both of them by this point.

“Mine,” Duo answered without even thinking.  He’d had dreams of taking Heero to his bed for as long as he could remember fighting.  He groaned at that kiss, at that tease, using every ounce of willpower he had not to lean in for another.  Instead, he rose up off the sofa -- with some difficulty, due to both the way they were entangled and how painfully hard he was

how big is your boner that you have problems getting off the sofa? 

-- offering Heero a hand.

“...It’s...It’s okay if you’re nervous, you know.”  He didn’t want to admit it, that he had a lot of ‘book knowledge’ when it came to these matters.  He’d watched, he’d read plenty.  But he had about as much practical experience as Heero did.

You know porn and erotica in general isn't accurate right like lmao

Heero took Duo’s hand, shivered in anticipation. Was this what ‘blushing brides’ felt on their wedding night?

Ah I see Heero has gone back to being Miaka 

What kind of thought was that, anyway? Brides taking their grooms’ hands and running off to the bedroom. Except Heero would look terrible in a dress. (He refused to speak about that one mission.)

Why is Heero even thinking of himself in like, femme terms? Heero is a guy. I don't write him as cis but he still considers himself a guy so like. Mm.... *disapproving look*

What comes next is a bunch of smut and I don't really have any intention of commenting unless it's just like. really that bad. because it's all awful. 

He kissed Duo again, unable to help himself as he stumbled across the living room. His pants were way too tight, and every brush of denim against his thigh just made the tightness worse. He nearly fell through the door that led to Duo’s bedroom (after stumbling around like a drunken idiot), tugging Duo in after him before shoving him against the door and claiming that mouth again, pinning Duo’s hands on either side of him as he swept his tongue through his mouth, letting out a soft, needy moan before doing the same to Duo’s neck, adding in teeth.

He wanted to mark him in the worse possible way, so he pushed the collar of Duo’s shirt aside and sucked, nipped, and bit at the juncture between neck and shoulder before kissing the deep red mark. He rested his hands now on Duo’s cheeks and gazed right in his eyes again, losing himself as he whispered, “I want you.”

Duo nearly fell against the door, arching his neck for those kisses and bites.  Pleading, pressing his hips in closer.  He whimpered at that hard bite at the join of his neck, only barely managing to catch his breath when Heero finally allowed him the use of his hands again.  He brought them around him, panting as he looked into those eyes.

“I need you.”

He kissed him again, firm and deep but not forceful, gently urging him back from the door toward the bed.  He slid his arms behind Heero’s back to cradle him as he laid him down onto the mattress, sliding his lips down to his neck in soft, sucking kisses.  His hand coasted along his side, under Heero’s shirt, finding and tracing one of his scars.

Heero moaned into that kiss, his hands on Duo’s chest as he let him lead him to the bed. He leaned into Duo’s touch, moved his head so Duo had more access to his neck and shoulder.
“Please…” He was breathless, didn’t even care if he had any air. At the rate he was going, he really wouldn’t have air. He didn’t know what he was even begging and pleading for. He wasn’t sure exactly what to even do. Did he just lay there?

Duo would have to take his clothes off. Shit. Heero had never let anyone see him naked. Well, maybe Trowa, but he was unconscious and he didn’t count that. His body was littered with scars, scars from his training, from the war, from incidents that may or may not have been his own doing… He wasn’t exactly sure Duo realised how much scar tissue there was. How grotesque some of the scars looked. They were the reason why Heero rarely took off his shirt in front of anyone, why he made sure he was completely covered. Could he let Duo see?

Feeling them was one thing. They didn’t feel as bad as they looked. Hell, they’d probably be a huge turn off, repulse him to the point where he’d leave him on the bed, zip everything up and then never speak of what almost happened again.
“Don’t take my shirt off,” he said. “I don’t want you to see…”

Okay this is fine. Heero having boundaries when it comes to like, whether he wants certain articles of clothing to remain on is perfectly fine. Even now I write Heero as someone who is never completely naked because he can't deal with being that exposed.

He felt stupid requesting such a thing. They both had scars. There was a difference, though. Heero was ashamed of his. Duo was not, or at least, Heero never saw Duo look at them with shame on his face. His scars probably meant something. Heero’s were a constant reminder than he’d grown up being molded and used for other people.

Duo barely broke that contact to answer him, shivering at the plea.  “Don’t want me to see what?  These?”  He trailed two fingers along a scar, kissing up to Heero’s ear.  “I wanna see you.”

WELL TOUGH SHIT, MAXWELL, THAT'S NOT UP TO YOU.

He didn’t make a move to lift his shirt, though.  No, he wanted Heero to give up those boundaries himself.  To let him in.  Instead, he leaned back just a little, tenderly stroking Heero’s cheek and looking at him.  “M’not gonna run.  Nothing you can show me would scare me.  I’ve seen your scariest and I’m still here.”

"Yeah you tried to shoot me but thankfully the firing pin was removed and you weren't able to otherwise I would've been a goner!" 

He wondered if he had the right to even ask, but he was going to do so anyway.

“Please, trust me.”

Heero shivered when Duo’s fingers traced one of his scars. “I...I’m not sure you do.” He bit his lip, looking away briefly. Could he trust Duo? Heero didn’t want to say ‘no’. That wasn’t the answer. If anything he’d rather say ‘maybe’, but even that wasn’t it. He knew Duo would always be there, that he wouldn’t judge him for anything. Knew he was safe. Could he let that last wall down?

Heero closed his eyes and slowly lifted his arms above his head, surrendering.

NO NO NO. If you don't want to take your shirt off, don't take your shirt off! Don't make Duo guilt you into doing so! 

Bracing himself for Duo to pull away and gaze at him in horror over what a mess his flesh was, how he wouldn’t find it ‘sexy’ so much as grotesque and disturbing.

He couldn’t form the words I trust you, so the physical act of surrendering himself would have to be enough.

Duo carefully lifted that shirt, pulling it off and away, dropping it beside the bed.  He looked down at that beautiful body he’d been seeing in his dreams for so long, almost unable to believe it was actually in front of him.  And he didn’t even wince at the sight of the scars.

Instead, he smoothed a hand over his chest, sucking in a breath at how that skin felt.  Roughened by combat and flushed and hot with need.  He licked his lips, pulling off his own shirt before leaning down to him for a deep, smothering kiss, hands freely roaming his shoulders and back and chest and stomach.  Sometimes just his fingertips, sometimes his full palm.  His tongue swept that mouth for a moment, before sliding down to his chin and jaw.  “God, you’re so beautiful…”

The thought of anyone touching my scars makes my skin fucking crawl like nobody's business. A lot of them feel weird when anything brushes against them so for someone to fixate on them during sex would be an "absolutely not please get the fuck out of here" for me...and that is how I have Heero feel about his own scars as well.

Beautiful? Heero’s brain nearly tripped over the syllables. He’d never been called that before. That kiss left him wanting more, needing more, cock aching and straining against his jeans before he kissed Duo hard, caressed Duo’s tongue with his own as he ground his hips against his. There would be--hopefully--time to explore later, to figure out all of the sensitive spots and which ones left them begging for more. Right now… Right now he just wanted Duo. He didn’t care about any added frills.

But he was nervous he was going to fuck this up, and be so terrible that Duo wouldn’t want a second go. Heero knew the basics about sex, sure. That was about it. He didn’t know how it was supposed to feel, or what he was supposed to do while someone was on top of him. He wasn’t even sure he wouldn’t feel awkward as all hell touching him while everything else was going on. Sex wasn’t a big deal to him anyway, so if he did fuck it up--and he had no doubt that he would--it wasn’t like it mattered. He didn’t need it. And Duo was good looking enough that he could find someone else easily.

That thought hurt, it stabbed him, but it was the truth. Hell, they shouldn’t even be doing what they were doing to begin with. But Heero hadn’t said no, he hadn’t stopped at all. He had no intention of stopping. But what if…? What if he wasn’t good enough?

Duo gave him more with that kiss, sliding a hand down his chest and starting to grope and gently rub him through his jeans.

It has taken this long for Duo to finally start touching Heero's dick. jfc. 

God, he couldn’t wait to get inside that body,

Invasions of the Body Snatchers when? 

to take him and hear the way he sounded when he got off.

He shuddered just at the thought, kissing Heero’s shoulder now.  “It’s okay,” he whispered, starting to undo the button on his jeans, pulling them and his boxers off.  He gave him a few slow strokes along his cock, before leaving him off with a soft kiss long enough to go to the nighttable.

He pulled out the small tube he kept in there, setting it on the bed so it would be in easy reach when they needed it.  He went back to kissing him, taking Heero’s hand and twining their fingers gently.

So Duo, in Rachel's words, "gave [Heero] a few slow strokes along his cock" and then left to get lube that he put on the bed and started kissing him and twining their hands together like they're in some shitty BL series like Gravitation or whatever... And doesn't resume stroking Heero's cock??

ugh.

Heero cried out when Duo stroked him. He’d never been touched like that before either. Heero never had time for any of that shit, to worry about getting off for his own pleasure. There were more important things to worry about. Not getting killed. Fighting in a war. Trying to survive. Working. More work. There were a million different things Heero had to worry about--his own needs, he didn’t really give much thought to. Sleep enough to not pass out. (Sometimes he forgot about the “sleep” part.) Eat enough to not die. (Lately Duo made sure he ate at least three meals a day.) Shower.

As a result, well, he sort of neglected himself. Especially when it came to more sexual things. He didn’t even know what he liked. Duo touching him through his pants was nice. This? This was a hell of a lot nicer. He didn’t even know you could feel like this. He squeezed Duo’s fingers, kissing him back as he moaned into his mouth, hips slowly rolling into Duo’s other hand. He was pretty sure something this intense would kill him and he didn’t care, because if he had to die, he’d want Duo to be the one to kill him.

And with how good Duo was with his hands? It was very, very likely.

Duo swallowed that moan with a shiver, Heero’s reaction turning him on harder than anything else.  He matched the rhythm of those hips, a slow, lazy pace as he plundered that mouth with his tongue.  He parted only long enough to murmur his name again, releasing his hand to flip open the tube.  He gave his fingers a thick coat of the stuff -- the kind that warmed on its own when it made contact with skin -- and brought that hand back between his legs.

His now warm, slippery fingers lightly stroked the outside of that tiny entrance, trembling just a bit in anticipation.  He kissed below Heero’s ear, whispering there.  “It’s all right, just relax for me…”

You stroked Heero's dick for like two seconds and now you wanna shove your (lubricated) fingers up Heero's asshole??? Where the fuck is the foreplay???

Heero nodded as he felt the lube or whatever the hell Duo’d used tingle and warm up. It felt weird, but then again everything else was a little weird too. He wasn’t used to this. Hell, he wasn’t even used to being on Duo’s bed, let alone in his room. Naked. This was like one of those dreams where you looked down and realised you had absolutely no clothes on and everyone laughed at you. Except there was no one except Duo, and thankfully he wasn’t laughing at anything.

Heero spread his legs a little wider, tried his best to relax, which was a hard thing to do when he was nervous as all hell. He didn’t know what to expect. Would it hurt? Pain he could deal with. What if Duo didn’t fit? Living with another guy meant those awkward moments when sometimes towels fell. Or pants weren’t pulled up fast enough. Or depending on the day of the week, there might have been no pants at all. So of course he’d seen what Duo kept hidden in those tight pants of his.

He couldn’t help but be excited though. He’d wanted this for...well, years. But there was no time. No time for confessions, for I love yous, for sex, not even a quick romp in a goddamn cockpit somewhere. Now that’s all they had was time. He placed a gentle kiss on Duo’s mouth before taking a deep breath.

“Take me.”

Duo smiled at that kiss, nuzzling Heero’s cheek with his nose.  “Not...not so fast.  You have to be relaxed enough first or it’s going to hurt like hell.”  He gently started to slide one slick finger into him, twisting it a little to spread the lube around.

He kissed his neck gently, murmuring encouragement against his skin, waiting until he could feel him open up around that finger before he slipped another inside him.  He started to carefully stretch him, purposely not kissing his lips so he could hear those sounds, so he could hear if they were pleasure or discomfort.

He nuzzled him as he kept it up for a minute, waiting until he relaxed further to search for that...that one little spot he’d read about.  Just out of curiosity, to see if what was in those books was really true…

"That one little spot he'd read about" lmao the prostate???

what books was Duo even reading, "Gay Sex 101"? "Gay Sex for Dummies"?

Duo’s fingers didn’t exactly hurt. Mild discomfort, sure, but he was pretty sure that was normal. He convinced himself that it was, anyway. But between the careful stretching and Duo’s murmurs of encouragement, Heero was finally able to relax, which was when the mild discomfort went away and Heero lay there on the bed moaning softly in time with Duo’s fingers, occasionally gasping.

And then, of course, Duo stroked something inside of him that made him cry out and caused his hips to jerk up. Holy shit. It was a jolt he felt throughout his body, and it only served to make him harder. He wasn’t exactly sure what that spot was, but it felt really good.
“More…” He shuddered. “Please…”

Duo shivered as he felt him relax, listening to those soft moans and answering them with equally soft sounds of approval against his neck.  He couldn’t help the smile when he heard that cry, felt that buck of his hips.  He complied beautifully, seeking and finding that spot again and again.

He started to lick the sweat from his neck,

Eww!

purring against him.  He was more than relaxed enough, he supposed, even his fingers sliding so easily in and out of him.  He leaned up, finally opening his own pants with a gasp of relief and sliding them off.  His eyes never left Heero’s body as he took another palmful of that lube, slicking his own cock and moaning at the warming sensation.

He arched over him, gently pushing his legs back, licking his lips and looking at his face one more time before pressing the head of himself against that entrance.  Just the first little bit, on edge and watching for any discomfort on Heero’s part.

Heero didn’t feel any discomfort at all. He took that as a good sign. All he felt was the warmth from that stuff Duo had slathered on his fingers from before. He moaned, a fluttering his stomach the only sign that Heero’s nervousness still hadn’t completely left him. He could still turn back, still push Duo away and call the whole thing off. There were other parts of him that wouldn’t let him do that, wanted him to press against that cock and take it inside him.

He’d let Duo have the honour of doing that, mostly because Heero was afraid to move too much at this point.
“D-Duo…” He was pretty sure he moaned his name, though at this point he could’ve moaned anything. His brain was too fogged with sexual desire and need to care if he’d moaned out something about USB cables instead. “Please…”

Duo leaned down over him so their chests were flush as he pushed the rest of the way inside with nearly inhuman gentleness, covering his lips in an equally deep kiss.  His arms slid under him, cradling him up close and he began that soft, searching rhythm.  Deep and easy and tender, moaning at the sensation.

God, he felt perfect.  It was so warm inside him, so close…  But more than anything it was the way their bodies pressed into each other, the way they moved together, that felt so mind-blowingly good.

He parted from that kiss just long enough to say his name before taking those lips again, stroking his cheek with one hand and twining their fingers with the other.  After so long, Heero was his.  He wasn’t dreaming.  This perfect boy was his.  In his bed, letting Duo take him, moaning his name and just….it took so much for him not to just come right there.  He had to last.  He had to feel Heero come first.  Had to know he was satisfied before he could take his own pleasure.  That was just the way it was going to work.

Heero pressed his hips into Duo’s, eyes half-lidded in pleasure as he groaned. Everything was warm. Warm enough to burn. He supposed that meant everything was hot, but it wasn’t hot. It was just...so warm.

What the fuck is this sentence lmao "Everything was warm. Warm enough to burn. It was hot. It wasn't hot. It was warm" is basically what that says like we get it. 

He opened himself up to Duo as much as he could and just rocked against him, enjoying the feel of his skin against his, his mouth again his… Everything. And nothing hurt. The way Duo looked at him… Sure there was lust and want and need in his eyes, but there was also something else, something almost like...love…?

And god, all of this combined with Duo’s kisses made him feel alive. Made him feel more than alive. Made him feel human.

Who knew it was sex that could restore someone's humanity? Everyone just needs that one good railing, I suppose, to turn their whole life around. Or something. 

He squeezed Duo’s hand, afraid to let go. He deepened the kiss, exploring Duo’s mouth gently, carefully. Duo was his. His. Heero had never had something to call his own before, something that was unequivocally back-off-or-I-will-kill-you his.

I never saw Heero as a yandere tbh so that is a choice 

And he was Duo’s and they belonged to each other.

Maybe in time Heero could tell Duo how he truly felt, how much he loved him. Maybe he could even say those three little words. But that would take a long time. And seeing as how Duo waited this long to have a moment like this on his bed? He could probably wait as long as it took.

A year ago--hell, years ago--Heero had never dreamed that anything like this could happen. Hell, he’d avoided sitting on the couch with Duo without a careful arrangement of pillows, drink trays, and foodstuffs between them. But now, not only had he sat with him on the couch like a normal, not-suffering-from-a-mental-trainwreck person, but he had touched him.

As someone who is a mental trainwreck who is touch averse save for trusted people... I have never built a wall between me and someone else to avoid their (accidental) touch like. That's fucking weird. 

Flirted, even. Kissed him. And now? He was on Duo’s bed, with Duo inside of him.

THAT'S AN ESCALATION I GUESS...?

This was the first step in his recovery, being able to open himself up.

Somehow I doubt very much that this is what your therapist was talking about re: opening up to someone...

[HEERO, IN HIS THERAPIST'S OFFICE]
Heero: So I opened up to my roommate the other day...
Therapist: Oh?
Heero: Yeah.
Therapist: Well that's good–
Heero: I had him inside me and it caused me to open myself up to him...
Therapist: ...um.
Heero: I felt so...alive and so...human.
Therapist: Heero... Heero, that is not what I meant by opening yourself up to someone else...
Heero: ?
Therapist: I mean something like...well, talking about your feelings to someone.
Heero: Why the hell would I want to do that?
Therapist: Because it's health–
Heero: *gets up and storms out*

It was a big step, but here it was, it happened. And who else would he open up to if it wasn’t Duo?

I don't think he quite understands yet...

Duo didn’t sense any discomfort in him, not the way he was so relaxed and moving with him, meeting him perfectly.  He pressed Heero’s hand to the bed as he kept kissing him, slipping him tongue, purring softly against him whenever they both hit a place that just felt right.  He only slid those lips off him to kiss his neck, his jaw, his ear, tugging gently at his earlobe with a growl.

For a moment, he had the intrusive, terrifying thought that he was dreaming.  That none of this was actually real, and he would wake up when the alarm clock went off to cold sheets and an empty bed and soak his pillow with frustrated tears because goddammit.

How Yuuki Miaka of you, Duo. Even though she handled being told "you can't fuck Tamahome you must remain pure to summon Suzaku" like, a thousand times better than you're handling this potentially being a dream. Which is sad.

That thought evaporated when he squeezed Heero’s hand.  No.  This was real and this was happening.  He had Heero in his arms, in his bed.  He nuzzled his ear, saying his name again.

“H-Heero…”

Unless you're coming there is no reason to fucking stutter his name jfc. And there should be no reason to fucking stutter his name when you're fucking so fucking slow I'm surprised Heero hasn't gotten up in the middle just "I got something to do that I forgot about I gotta go change my pet squirrel's shoes" and then just fucking leaves because he's bored.

Hearing his name said just like pushed him closer to the edge. They weren’t going all that fast and Heero was perfectly fine with that.

It's okay because he's never fucked before but like. This is not even mid-tier sex. Go find someone who is willing to throw you on the bed and pound you like a drum. 

Hell, he was still trying to figure out if this was all a dream. He’d be shaken awake and told that the game was over, the Sox won (or maybe lost, who knows), and that they should get to bed because the couch wasn’t the best place to crash. Or maybe it was a fever induced hallucination. Or a medicine induced hallucination. That was one of the side-effects.

One of the side effects to what, Zoloft? Because no it's not lmao hallucinations aren't really a thing found with SSRIs.

Not saying it can't happen but it isn't listed as any of the side effects (common, uncommon, or rare).

But that hand in his, that mouth on his neck, the friction between them and in him… It couldn’t be anything but real. Unless it was one of those hyper-realistic dreams, but even those had hazy edges and signs pointing to this is only a dream, it’s not real. His hips jerked, sliding Duo in deeper, harder, and he moaned in a way that was completely foreign to his ears and shit, even he thought it was erotic sounding. A gutteral, somewhat primal moan. Right in Duo’s ear. And he arched against him, driving him in more. And more. Was this instinct taking over? Was something inside him that had been shoved aside waking up?

IS HEERO'S INNER GODDESS AWAKENING??? IS THE SMUT FINALLY SMUTTING???

“Please…” He wasn’t sure he’d be able to form a sentence, hoped that maybe Duo would understand. “Please fuck…” He growled, tired of words and snapped his hips, hoping that sent the message across. Heero was better with actions anyway. He hissed in pleasure as the jolt that sent through him.
“D-Duo…”

Sadly if Heero wants to get off sometime this year he's gonna have to take the reins and show Duo "no this is how hard I want you to fuck me" and maybe Duo will cry and tremble a little and after Heero will light up a cigarette as Duo rolls over and weeps.

My Heero is not for the faint of heart when it comes to fucking lmao

Duo shuddered at that sound in his ear.  God, he’d heard that in his dreams so many times, and now that he was hearing it for real, the way Heero actually sounded, it was far hotter than anything his brain had cooked up.  He buried a similar sound in the warm flesh of Heero’s collar as he felt that drive of his hips, sliding himself deeper into him than even he thought he could go.

And then that plea.  Oh hell.  He wasn’t so sure now if he’d be able to make it without falling apart first and he really didn’t want to do that.  But he couldn’t deny that voice.

He started to follow that jolt of Heero’s hips, taking him deep and hard, his pace a little quicker, a little more tense.  He was starting to pant across that shoulder, fingers of his other hand digging into Heero’s back.

You know what would make this go quicker and be more enjoyable?

Dirty talk.

I doubt Rachel was ever capable of writing such a thing but holy fuck dirty talk is essential to my smut and this is just so fucking boring to read otherwise.

“Yessssss,” Heero hissed in his ear. “L-Like that. O-Oh!” He drove Duo as deep as he could go, reaching parts of him he didn’t know could even be reached, pretty certain that Duo was touching his very soul, transcended anything on this realm.

*laughs so hard Morticia is Concerned™ before leaving for her kitty hammock* 

Or something like that. Heero was never good at metaphors. It felt good, better than anything he thought he could ever feel. He wrapped his arms around Duo, nails digging into his back. He’d have marks in the morning, but Heero didn’t care. Reminders that what happened had actually happened. His hips met every thrust as he buried his face in Duo’s neck, gasping and moaning as he writhed underneath him.

“C-Close…” He moaned. Loudly. Right in Duo’s ear. He couldn’t help it anymore, and hell, they were alone. He could be as loud as he wanted. “S-So close…”

Heero is way too restrained for my tastes tbh. My Heero is a bit of a freak in the bedroom iykwim

It was taking so much control not to do it right then, right as Heero spoke in his ear, clawed his back.  He leaned up to nuzzle and kiss his temple as their movements deepened even further.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he purred, urging him gently, wanting so desperately to hear and feel him come.  “Don’t fight it, let it happen…”

I don't think Heero is struggling to not come I think he's struggling to come. Because you're not making it easy I will admit.

How ironic, that he was telling Heero to give in while he fought like hell himself not to.  But he was doing it for him, so that made it okay.  He needed to know Heero was sated first.  He pressed his cheek to Heero’s, stroking his shoulder in encouragement.

1.) I feel like I am reading smut that is less smut and more "the character is lying back and thinking of their duty to their country for an heir must be produced".
2.) OF ALL THE THINGS TO STROKE TO GET SOMEONE OVER THAT EDGE...THE SHOULDER??? HEERO HAS A COCK. DO SOMETHING WITH IT.

Heero wasn’t sure how to let it happen.

Heero babes you might have to jerk yourself off at this rate... 

He assumed that was the same as letting go, but he didn’t know how to do that either.

Maybe shove Duo off you and onto the floor where he can be on his knees and just fucking...

Shove your cock down his throat.

(Bonus points if he gags!)

"You forgot about this. Why?" Heero presses his hips against Duo's face as he grabs Duo's hair and tugs. "I'll make sure you won't forget for next time. If you're lucky."
Duo gargles something.
"Good boys don't talk with their mouth full."

Yeah Rachel wouldn't be able to handle my Heero topping lmao. 

Did it just automatically happen? Hearing that purring though… He shuddered, clutching Duo tightly before tensing, his whole body going rigid as he struggled to breathe, to think, to do anything as he gasped before throwing his head back and crying out. He came hard, right on Duo’s stomach and for one brief moment in time he felt like he had died and touched the metaphorical face of God.

Nothing Duo did would ever warrant this kind of response in reality you do know that right like I am p sure Heero is just faking it at this point.

Like my Heero would fuck Duo's throat until he pulls out and just lets it out all over Duo's face and then say something really blasphemous like, "I just came on the face of God." 

If God’s face was Duo Maxwell’s, anyway.

And then, of course, he fell back to, well, bed. Back into Duo’s arms. He panted heavily, unable to think, barely able to move, as he lay there on the mattress, Duo still inside him, still moving.
“Jesus Christ,” was all Heero could whisper before he traced his fingers down Duo’s cheek and kissed him.

JESUS CHRIST MULTIPLIED FISH AND LOAVES OF BREAD SO NO ONE WOULD GO HUNGRY
JESUS CHRIST TURNED WATER INTO WINE IN CANA
JESUS CHRIST KNEW ONE OF HIS DISCIPLES WOULD BETRAY HIM
JESUS CHRIST CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD
JESUS CHRIST CANNOT TURN BAD SMUT INTO GOOD it is beyond his heavenly power unfortunately.

Oh fuck, he felt that.  Duo groaned at that body tightening on him, at that soft rush of warmth against his stomach, at that sound in his ear.  Once again it was so much better and hotter than his fantasy Heero.  He shuddered hard, almost following him.  Almost.

He caught Heero as he fell back to the mattress, panting as he still moved against him, eyes fluttering at that touch on his cheek, that kiss.  God, he was so close.  So fucking close…

HERE, I AM GOING TO REWRITE THIS BECAUSE IT'S JUST THIS BAD...

Oh fuck, he felt that. He groaned in pleasure at Heero's ass tightening around his cock like it was trying to milk his balls, dabbed his tongue at suddenly dry lips as Heero's cum splattered on his abdomen, nearly lost complete control of himself when Heero moaned loud in his ear. This was a thousand–no a million times better than any fantasy he'd conjured up in his wet dreams and when he watched Heero's eyes roll up into his head Duo damn near came himself he was just that fucking close. But not close enough not close enough how the fuck was he not–close–enough?!   

He caught Heero in his arms but barely and held Heero close as he fucked like they were going to die within the next five minutes, his hips smacking against Heero's, the bed creaking underneath him, the springs in the mattress working double- and triple-time. He needed to come he needed to come he needed to come.

LOOK AT THAT

You can do so much more than just "he felt that, he groaned at that, he shuddered as his eyes fluttered" like. C'mon. Any amount of effort.

“Don’t you… Isn’t the other person…” Shit he was tired. “Don’t you come too?”
Heero realised it was a really stupid question. What if Duo had come already and just hadn’t felt it? Now he looked inconsiderate. He’d already made a mess all over him. He was supposed to be happy and relaxed after sex, right?
“Please… Please come in me…” He looked at him, still partially out of breath and splayed out across his mattress. “I want your come in me…”

Duo looked down at him, almost in disbelief that someone could look that hot.  Flushed and sweaty and his hair all disheveled and panting.  He swallowed hard, mouth suddenly dry.  God, was Heero telling him to...oh god, those words and that voice and…

Here I rewrote this too: Oh god, was Heero really begging him to come inside him? The way his voice was rough from sex, how his eyes stared off into nothing and everything at the same time, the way his tongue moved over those syllables...

He leaned down over him once more, cradling him and starting to move again, back to being careful and gentle because Heero

is CLEARLY A BABY NEEDING TO BE ROCKED TO SLEEP OR SOMETHING can we stop fucking cradling Heero like the definition of it is "to hold gently and protectively" why are you holding Heero "gently and protectively" he's not a baby he's not a child he's a fucking 21 year old adult male you are infantilising for some reason

is this your fetish, Rachel? 'cause it's fucking creepy. Heero doesn't need to be protected! He is more than capable of protecting himself.

oh no you know what it is

she's trying to turn Heero into a fucking uke.

NOT ON MY WATCH. 

was probably sensitive as hell right now, but just as deep as he could.  Until he started to writhe against him, moans punctuated by soft whimpers of his name, trembling hands frozen on his shoulders.

Ah it's Trembling Hands: The Return. You know, Rachel, there are other words outside of shiver, shudder, tremble, and shake you can use. If you can't think of any, there is this marvelous invention called a thesaurus! I know it sounds like a type of dinosaur, but it's not. It's like a dictionary, but instead of defintions it gives you the synonyms and antonyms for any given word. Just don't overuse it and make sure to check word definitions because sometimes the synonym doesn't mean exactly what you want it to... There's also connotations to consider. Like you can use "ejaculate" as a synonym for "yelled" or "exclaimed" but that doesn't mean you should when people almost exclusively use it to mean "expelling semen".

“Just like that…” Heero whispered, trying to encourage him just as Duo had done to him. “It’s okay to let go.” He kissed Duo’s jaw, nipped at it before doing the same to his neck and shoulder. He was a little sensitive, but there was certainly enough lubricant that he wasn’t being chafed or anything. And soon he’d be a little more slippery inside. He hoped. He wrapped Duo’s braid around his hand and tugged gently.
“Come for me…”

THE BRAID WRAPPING AROUND HIS HAND

THE HAIR TUGGING

THE (in my head) DEEP AND SULTRY TONES OF HEERO'S VOICE AS HE COMMANDS DUO COME FOR HIM...

YES GOOD.

Duo shuddered at that urging, that voice, those kisses along his neck and shoulder, his skin on fire wherever Heero’s lips touched him.  But it was that tug on his hair, that little ‘come hither’ gesture that finally did it.

What are you talking about, "come hither" gesture

hair tugging isn't "come hither"

do you even know what you're talking about (no)

He couldn’t stop moving even as he came deep inside him,

uh p sure you're supposed to stop so that your come actually goes where you want it instead of just all over the place and then your dick slips out and makes a fucking mess everywhere you would be so bad at breeding kink shit 

arching and shaking in soft waves until he finally collapsed over him, whimpering, twitching just a little.

1.) what is arching? his back? his neck?
2.) what is shaking in soft waves?
3.) is Duo undulating in some way? is that word too big for Rachel?
4.) ah yes the return of Duo whimpering like a kicked puppy
5.) what is twitching? is Duo now having convulsions? (we can add that to the list of suspected medical problems) 

Wondering if he was still conscious, even as he panted against that hot skin.

Wondering if who is still conscious? Can you fucking type a goddamn sentence that doesn't start off like it's a sentence fragment and make things clear from the start?? Is it Duo wondering if he himself is still conscious? Or is Duo wondering if Heero is still conscious??? Like who is the owner of the pronouns??? What does panting against skin have to do with being conscious???? You can breathe heavily and be knocked out.

I want to smother him.

Heero wrapped his arms tight around Duo, keeping him there as they both fell down from Wherever. He nosed Duo’s hair, taking in his scent before kissing Duo’s shoulder. He nuzzled his neck again, sighed contentedly as he heard from the bedroom, “THE YANKEES HAVE BEEN TOASTED.” Heero thought that was a weird turn of phrase, but he laughed anyway.
“Looks like we’re not the only ones who stole some bases and hit some home runs.”

Heero wasn’t exactly sure if it was okay to talk after sex. What did you even talk about? He’d have to investigate further. But he knew that talking about the Red Sox was always a good thing to talk about with Duo, no matter where they were.
“But I think I got the better deal,” Heero continued. “I got fireworks too.”

Duo couldn’t help the slight laugh at that.  Still fuzzy-headed, still trying to come back to reality, wherever that was now.  And that was still hilarious.  He sighed, barely able to move and not wanting to.

“You just hit a Grand Slam.  Bases loaded, home run.”

His voice was still clogged with pleasure and fatigue, and...okay, maybe he could move now.  He carefully turned them over,

WHO SAID YOU COULD MOVE MY CHARACTER, RACHEL??? 

his arms feeling weak and shaky still, so that he was laying back on the pillows with Heero perched up against his chest.  He stroked his hair, resting Heero’s cheek over his still-trying-to-calm-down heart.

can you do me a solid

can you, idk, STOP TRYING TO TREAT HEERO LIKE HE'S SOMEONE'S UKE????

“I...I’m sorry I didn’t speak up sooner.”

“...there’s still a home run in there,” Heero mumbled. “Still got fireworks and they didn’t.”
He was on top of Duo now, aware of the stickiness between them.

make Duo get up and get some wet wipes or a wash cloth or something because that is going to start smelling sooner rather than later.

He hid his face in Duo’s chest at that. They’d have to move and clean up at some point. He liked the hair stroking too much to suggest they part and go back to...whatever they were doing before. Watching sports. Well the game was over. They could watch shitty movies. Duo had a whole collection of them for some reason Heero never understood, but he also never questioned it.

“Speak up sooner about what?” He looked up at his now, voice muffled by Duo’s chest. “How you felt?”

Duo nodded, leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

Can we stop treating Heero like he's a child??? 

“I don’t even know when it happened, I just…”  He fell quiet for a moment.  “I’d...given up on the idea.  I mean, what the hell would you want with someone like me anyway?  Guy who almost got you killed so many times because for some reason I was everyone’s favorite hostage…”

He realized he was starting to ramble about stuff that Heero...really didn’t need to know.  Probably didn’t want to know, either.  “Nevermind.  I’m just...I’m so fucking in love with you I can’t see straight and I’ll leave it at that.”

It's at this moment where I have the urge to smoke a cigarette and I haven't smoked since like. spring of 2018, it was like one last cig because I'd quit a few months prior...

Yeah I want a cigarette. And I want to take a couple of drags off it before telling Duo to open his mouth and stick out his tongue and just snuff it out on his tongue.

“They just saw how delicious you are and wanted you all to themselves,” Heero said. “...or, considering that some of OZ’s soldiers weren’t the brightest lightbulbs in a hardware store, they probably saw the braid and thought you’d be an easy damsel in distress.”

maybe my younger self didn't catch the implication Duo was putting out there but uhhhh this is NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD REPLY WITH, HEERO??? 

He kissed Duo’s chin.
“...You were still a pain in the ass, but you can be my pain in the ass any day of the week. Except Wednesdays because you have your game to watch.”

He toyed with the end of Duo’s braid. “You’re not the only one here who’s blinded by love… I don’t express how I feel very often because I’m really bad at it. But there was always something about you that made me feel...safe. Even when you shot at me and told me to jump off the fiftieth floor of a building. ...I don’t know. You’re special.”

That was the stupidest thing I’ve said in a long time.

Duo chuckled a little.  “I’d prefer to not be a pain in the ass, no.”  He lightly brushed that hair from Heero’s forehead.  “You...you felt safe with me?  Really?”

The idea was...befuddling.  But he was hardly about to question it if it was in his favor.  “Well...glad it worked out that way, then.”  He paused, before asking.  “Did...Did I hurt you at all?”

Heero shook his head. “I felt fine. Trust me, Maxwell. You would have known if you hurt me.” He shivered. The hot and heavy action was done and the heat stored up between them was dying down. His clothes were on the floor. Somewhere. Probably with Duo’s. But he didn’t want to get up, just wanted to continue listening to Duo’s heart beat under his ear.
“Maybe tomorrow we can...we can do that again.” He was still toying with Duo’s hair. “If...If you want, that is.”

Duo brushed his cheek with the backs of his fingers, tender and affectionate.  “You...really have to ask if I want to?”

He sighed contentedly at the hair-toying.  It was something that had always calmed him down as a kid, and one of the reasons he’d grown his hair so long.  “If I’m gonna wait five goddamned years to be with you like this, it ain’t gonna be just once.”

“Good,” Heero said, before kissing him softly. “Because just so you know, after that little performance? I’m going to want a lot of...what did you call them? Grand slams. I want more grand slams from you. Because you’re a great pitcher.” Heero Yuy, despite watching all of these baseball games, still knew jack shit about baseball. He knew the terms, but not exactly how they fit together. He didn’t care. He even laughed a little. “You’re also a great kisser, and you’re good with your hands, and…” He kissed him again. “You’re special to me.”

The news filtered in softly from the living room. “You’re special to me and I trust you with my life.”

Duo couldn’t help the laugh at the ‘pitcher’ comment.  “I’ll have to show you the fastball someday, then.”

He pressed another kiss to his lips, then one to his forehead.  “You’ve been special to me for a long time.  I’ve seen your worst.  I’m still here ‘cause I want your best.”

At first, Heero didn’t know what to say to that.
“I want to give you my best,” Heero said after contemplating it for several moments’ worth of silence. “I want to give you everything.”
He wasn’t sure what a fastball was or if that was a baseball thing or a sexual thing, but decided to not question it. Instead, his body decided to ruin any cutesy little romantic atmosphere and growl. Not even a sexy growl like what Duo had done earlier. It was a menacing give me food or else growl. Heero sighed.

“Worst time ever for that,” Heero mumbled. “Guess we should eat.” He smirked. “There’s certainly something I’d like to taste, but we can try that out some other time.” He lapped at Duo’s lips before kissing him softly.

He wasn’t sure exactly how he was going to get up. He didn’t even attempt it.

Duo nodded.  “I know.  But you give it to me when you’re ready.  I’ll still be here.”

He smirked right back at him when he heard that growl of his stomach.  “You need more protein anyway.  Think I have some chicken parm left over in the fridge.  There’s enough for both of us.”

****

IT'S OVER. It's fucking over!

This RP is over

What are my final thoughts on this? "Thank god this is done." This was torture. And this isn't even the worst.

Yes. The worst is yet to come.

We have TWO MORE RPs TO COVER:
1.) Give Me the Fruit which is the Hades/Persephone retelling done as 2x1... and
2.) Once Bitten, Twice Shy, the 1x2 vampire AU that is honestly the worst thing I have ever read

SO YEAH. WE'RE ON THE HOME STRETCH NOW. The RPs from this point are very long and might need multiple parts so...that'll be fun...

Comments

[sarajayechan]

Put baseball on the list of things Rachel knows jack shit about. Yeah, baseball fans can be Serious Business, but riots and booing and violence are things you'd associate more with soccer and hockey and American football. I've never witnessed it but the most I can imagine Serious Business baseball people doing is verbal arguments that devolve into "your team sucks" and still no punches thrown.

Also when I was five I lost my first tooth opening the straw to my juice box with my teeth. And that was plastic. I'm wincing just imagining Duo's teeth after opening a fucking beer bottle like that.

Which was, of course, orgasmic. Or it would have been if Heero knew what an orgasm even felt like.

*facepalm*

Rachel calling Heero a "recovering crazy person" reminds me of Sven from Voltron yelling at Romelle that he's "a crazy brain". And we already KNEW Sven's deals, he got sent to a Space Hospital after Not Dying from his injuries, then the hospital got attacked and he wound up a slave to the Drule Empire so yeah he's pretty fucked up by that. But Rachel is giving us no context for Heero's "recovery".

Tiny Queen is a very welcome distraction. <3

And holy shit is this setup for "omg sexual tension and realized love" cringy as hell, and this sort of thing is usually my jam. Albeit with less food as foreplay and opening beer bottles with teeth but I LIKE when my ships get flustered and horny and end up banging. Just...not like this.

...did Rachel pick baseball so she could milk the "bases = sex" angle? D:

*beats Duo over the head with that same Fushigi Yuugi volume* IT WAS CUTE WHEN MIAKA AND TAMAHOME WERE DOING IT IT'S NOT CUTE WITH THE TWO OF YOU

I KNOW, RIGHT? It was IC for them, and even they weren't this sappy and dramatic about it!

Shippers in general have this fixation on scar kissing and touching. Which can be hot and sweet, but at the same time what if the person doesn't want those scars touched?

This was the first step in his recovery, being able to open himself up.

Somehow I doubt very much that this is what your therapist was talking about re: opening up to someone...

YEAH. Like I'm all for emotionally driven sex and fucking as a bonding experience but Rachel has Heero on meds and in therapy so there's this massive disconnect. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS, RACHEL.

THE YANKEES HAVE BEEN TOASTED.” Heero thought that was a weird turn of phrase, but he laughed anyway.
“Looks like we’re not the only ones who stole some bases and hit some home runs.”
[]
“But I think I got the better deal,” Heero continued. “I got fireworks too.”
[]
“You just hit a Grand Slam. Bases loaded, home run.”

OH MY GOD SHE WAS USING BASEBALL SO SHE COULD MILK THE METAPHOR

Fuck, Heero wasn't even Heero in this, he wasn't even Miaka. He was a bog-standard ukeblob from a bad yaoi anime.

[omaewokorosu]

I HATE THAT I WAS FORCED TO WRITE HEERO LIKE THIS THIS IS NOT MY HEERO.

Like I don't know jack shit about baseball and that probably came across in a very obvious way re: rioting and fire setting and what not because my younger self was likely "oh well they do that with hockey and football so I'm sure they do that with baseball too" no they don't lol they just go YOUR TEAM SUX and the other team goes YEAH WELL YOURS SUXX0RZ WORSE and that person goes ye u rite u rite

but it's not like Rachel said anything about my (lack of) baseball knowledge so this is also her fault.

Also when I was five I lost my first tooth opening the straw to my juice box with my teeth. And that was plastic.
god those fucking straws were the WORST sometimes I especially hated it when it would only tear a little bit and not even enough to pull the straw out some the fucking Juicy Juice ones were the WORST WITH IT. At least the Caprisun ones I could open like a regular straw (by using the pointy end to lance through).

At least when you're a kid you get money for losing teeth as an adult you get an expensive dental bill instead. Like I think I tried this once and I just ended up cutting my gum open.

so yeah nobody do this lmao use a bottle opener

now I know this was Rachel's characterisation of Heero that I was writing but like. god it still feelsbadman why did she think Heero didn't know JACK SHIT when it came to sex???

(It's a combination of ukeification, wussification, and a sprinkling of woobification.)

But Rachel is giving us no context for Heero's "recovery".
No and she didn't even tell me anything just that now he was in therapy and they were celebrating this therapy milestone or some shit and I was like OK I CAN DO THAT and then when it came to actually writing the tags I was like ACTUALLY...

What are we celebrating? I don't know. I guess celebrating "opening up"?

no no that can't be it because we didn't know that at that point

uh

we are celebrating...celebration...?

TINY QUEEN KNOWS SHE'S PRETTY AND KNOWS ESPECIALLY SHE IS A DISTRACTION.

Albeit with less food as foreplay
it's not even good "food as foreplay" either it's not like Heero is fellating a hot dog or something. Or they're eating sushi off each other's bodies. Or idk Duo is like "hey want a cucumber up your ass?"

like there's nothing sexy about chips and dip!

...did Rachel pick baseball so she could milk the "bases = sex" angle? D:
Probably which like. Most references went over my head. The only one I knew was the "kissing is first base, making out is second, etc." one, because everyone knows that one.

I don't know baseball. So I was just. There. She had to suggest ones she wanted Heero to say to Duo and that's even more cringe tbh like I don't care if Duo makes these references (they're still a little cringe) but Heero...doesn't know baseball...so even having him attempt it is like...why.

Shippers in general have this fixation on scar kissing and touching. Which can be hot and sweet, but at the same time what if the person doesn't want those scars touched?
Yeah and like I totally get it and that certainly fits different characters and ship dynamics. But if Heero says "don't touch" and "don't take my shirt off" Duo shouldn't insist on doing so, saying "oh it's okay", and then Heero feels like he has to. Like that's...not a great dynamic! Duo should've just been like "oh ok np you can keep your shirt on!" instead of being like "don't you trust me?"

No, actually. Heero doesn't. He trusts you enough but he doesn't trust you enough like...when it comes to personal space.

Just feed into Heero's feelings of being an object, Duo, go right ahead.

(The fact that I can justify some of Heero's characterisation is a miracle tbh because it's really bad; my own Heero has feelings similar to this where he considers himself an object, not a person, because something something "weapon of war".)

Like I'm all for emotionally driven sex and fucking as a bonding experience but Rachel has Heero on meds and in therapy so there's this massive disconnect. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS, RACHEL.
I feel like you can have emotionally driven sex and meds with therapy but the application would be different. Like if anything it would be a different kind of emotionally driven sex. Heero would be more rational and be able to enjoy it more instead of being so deep inside his head like he would be in this situation.

But also she has him on a medication where it's very, very common for someone to not want sex at all or be able to achieve orgasm and I feel like that would end up making Heero feel even worse.

It's like everything is for Duo's benefit, not really Heero's. Like if you want to celebrate Heero's "milestone" or whatever, fine! Great! But why is the focus not on Heero? Where was the foreplay?? Where is the asking what Heero wants?

(I know, I know, because that would make sense.)

USING BASEBALL SO SHE COULD MILK THE METAPHOR
SHE WAS HAVING DUO SPOUT A BUNCH OF very cringeworthy BASEBALL PUNS TO TRY TO MILK IT FOR EVERYTHING when she should've had Duo try to milk Heero's cock, a rookie move not that many people make: focusing too much on the bit and not the bits.

He was a bog-standard ukeblob from a bad yaoi anime
YEAH. Yeah. That's why I wish I had a copy of her fic so I could be like SEE? THIS IS WHAT I WAS TOLD TO BE LIKE.

no wonder she thought my Heero sucked, he was too...I don't know...not woobie-uke? And that's all she knows and she wanted me to match.

I still think there was some ulterior motive to her wanting this. Like she was showing this to friends going "oh this is Karu's bog-standard characterisation of Heero, isn't it awful?"

[sarajayechan]

Plus this was Rachel's fic you were being forced to RP out. You can't be blamed for not knowing anything about baseball, but she was the one running the show.

god those fucking straws were the WORST sometimes I especially hated it when it would only tear a little bit and not even enough to pull the straw out some the fucking Juicy Juice ones were the WORST WITH IT. At least the Caprisun ones I could open like a regular straw (by using the pointy end to lance through).

YEAH, I remember at some point I learned to just push the straw through the plastic, but before then? Pain in the ass.

Yeah and like I totally get it and that certainly fits different characters and ship dynamics. But if Heero says "don't touch" and "don't take my shirt off" Duo shouldn't insist on doing so, saying "oh it's okay", and then Heero feels like he has to. Like that's...not a great dynamic! Duo should've just been like "oh ok np you can keep your shirt on!" instead of being like "don't you trust me?"

Yeah, that was like. If Duo said "sure, no problem" and then Heero went "the fact that he isn't pushing the issue makes me more comfortable, so maybe I will". But Duo is so fucking pushy, holy shit.

I feel like you can have emotionally driven sex and meds with therapy but the application would be different. Like if anything it would be a different kind of emotionally driven sex. Heero would be more rational and be able to enjoy it more instead of being so deep inside his head like he would be in this situation.

But also she has him on a medication where it's very, very common for someone to not want sex at all or be able to achieve orgasm and I feel like that would end up making Heero feel even worse.

Yeah, exactly. Therapy and meds can make sex itself better because you've got something helping with your brain chemistry, IF the medication doesn't kill your sex drive!

I still think there was some ulterior motive to her wanting this. Like she was showing this to friends going "oh this is Karu's bog-standard characterisation of Heero, isn't it awful?"

...oh my God.

That would be a Rachel thing to do, huh?

[omaewokorosu]

If Duo said "sure, no problem" and then Heero went "the fact that he isn't pushing the issue makes me more comfortable, so maybe I will". But Duo is so fucking pushy, holy shit.
Yeah and honestly that would've been great because it would've led to some great character development like "huh, I can trust someone to respect me and my boundaries and expectations, so maybe I can take my shirt off and trust that he won't touch them or say anything about them."

Instead it's just
Heero: I want to keep my shirt on.
Duo: y tho
Heero: Because I'm not comfortable letting anyone see or touch my scars.
Duo: *gently caresses his scars* They don't bother me.
Heero: That's great. I don't care about that, they bother me.
Duo: But I think they're beautiful and I want to touch them.
Heero: I said no.
Duo: But I want to see them and touch them.
Heero: *reluctantly gives in*

It really is like Heero doesn't matter it's all about what Duo wants and needs, fuck what Heero wants.

That would be a Rachel thing to do, huh?
I mean I have zero proof of that but let's assume that "Salty Vinegar" isn't just her sockpuppeting with a VPN and is her one (1) friend who doesn't know me at all and is just going by what Rachel has said. I don't know what she's told people or even shown people. Could've shown her shit and said "this is Karu's" for all I know.

We know Salty Vinegar is just Rachel's sockpuppet though things match up too nicely to not be.