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omaewokorosuJust as a reminder, Egg doesn't use my preferred name or pronouns, instead opting for my disused legal name and incorrect pronouns because she prefers them for me (which isn't how this works). I am a transmasc he/they and my name is Hikaru, but you can call me Karu or Kay. As a result, in any quotes where she uses incorrect names or pronouns, I've corrected them. I just want to make sure that everyone knows that no, Egg did not and never did respect the fact that I am trans and go by a different name, because that's not the fantastical version of me that exists solely in her mind and therefore, her reality.
WE WENT DOWNSTAIRS...to make dinner. As you do when you're hungry and it's at the time of day when dinner is typically made. It's me and Serena in the kitchen making yet another Knorr branded "side dish" that we would just use as a full dish because one package was enough for one person. It's also quick and easy, which meant less time spent in a common area where Egg could interact with us.
Lo and behold, as H was washing up our bowls for our food and the water and butter was heating up on the stovetop, <a wild Egg appeared!> and "just so happened" to need to use the facilities. Because she always """coincidentally""" needed to use the facilities (where she probably sat down for a few seconds, waited, and then got up and flushed before washing her hands; maybe she did it to try and eavesdrop, which was hilarious since Serena and I would then communicate via Discord on our phones) when we were making food. Sometimes she would make a quick quip and go, "Oh, that smells nice!" but neither H nor myself nor Serena ever took the bait.
AND TONIGHT...was no different a night, where after Egg appeared from her lair, she paused in front of the bathroom, looking haggard and unwell with huge bags underneath her eyes. Her bare feet were gaunt—and keep in mind, Egg was a diabetic who shouldn't have been walking around barefoot, lest she get some sort of injury that turned into gangrene, though I was convinced she just didn't care—and cold as she stood there. A pathetic sight, H would probably comment, but he didn't.
"I've never lived on my own before, Karu." Her voice sounded like she was trying to conjure tears to make us feel bad.
<A wild Egg used crocodile tears!>
"What if I—" The whinginess of her voice increased with every syllable. "—need to make copies of things?"
<Heero is unmoved by crocodile tears! It's super uneffective!>
<Heero uses Deadpan! His Emotional Defense has increased!>
With very little emotion in his voice, H said, "You'll have to figure that out. It's not stopping me from moving out."
H, to me: Does she really think we're going to stick around to make cheque copies?
Me, to H: I guess so?
D to the both of us: is she a fuckin idiot???
H, without missing a beat: Yeah, she is.
"But who will help me with [arbitrary thing]? I don't know anything about the computer! Oh my gaaaawd, Karu..."
D: why is that your problem
H: Why should I have Karu be stuck here just so they can do ~computer things~ for her?
D: why tf wouldn't you learn the computer?? they said the digital era was coming back in like 1985!
H: Because she figured her husband would be taking care of her until they both died.
D: and what, taken into the hands of God??? fuck that she fucked herself
H: I'm not letting them stay here any longer than necessary. I have a job to do here, Egg, and you're trying to ruin it.
<Heero uses Truth Bomb!>
"Again, that isn't my problem."
<Hit to key!>
<Wild Egg fainted!>
Except Egg didn't actually faint, she retreated into the bathroom to do her business and then meandered back to her lair.
<Egg used Guilt Trip Cry!>
"Is she seriously sobbing?" H asked, as dinner continued to cook. Serena shrugged.
"Oh noooo, Eggie, you're gonna have to figure things out for yourself! Oh noooooooooo."
<But everyone was unhearing...>
It is at this point that I should note... Nothing is going to stop me from moving out.
くりかえす: Nothing will stop me from moving out.
How soon that happens depends on your behaviour, like getting out of prison early:
Good behaviour: We'll take our time, do a lot of research, look at a bunch of places and get a feel for things before making our exit: stage left.
Bad behaviour: We'll talk to a mortgage broker or lender ASAP, get a preapproval, call up a realtor, and start looking at houses.
And here's the other thing: You keep telling me that I won't make it on my own and that I need you. You're projecting your own shortcomings onto me, which I don't appreciate. You can keep them, I have my own to deal with. You are afraid you can't make it on your own. You were given access to all kinds of resources and services for seniors who want to live independently—whether in their own house or in some sort of facility—so they can keep doing that. I think the reality is far bleaker than you realise or want to accept, but that's what it is. When life gives you lemons and you don't want to make lemonade, you're gonna have to find something else to do with them, like flavour your tea or water, or make a meringue, or something. But you don't want to do that either. So you're stuck with a bunch of lemons everywhere.
In the case of making photocopies, there is this MAGICAL place called a ~*~LIBRARY~*~ (*gasp!*) where you can get photocopies done and things printed. They have computers! They have it all. And they are staffed by helpful keepers of ~arcane and esoteric knowledge~ known as ~*~LIBRARIANS~*~ who will guide you. They're also used to helping analog-only seniors navigate the increasingly digital-only world.
But it's not gonna be me.
WE WENT DOWNSTAIRS...to make dinner. As you do when you're hungry and it's at the time of day when dinner is typically made. It's me and Serena in the kitchen making yet another Knorr branded "side dish" that we would just use as a full dish because one package was enough for one person. It's also quick and easy, which meant less time spent in a common area where Egg could interact with us.
Lo and behold, as H was washing up our bowls for our food and the water and butter was heating up on the stovetop, <a wild Egg appeared!> and "just so happened" to need to use the facilities. Because she always """coincidentally""" needed to use the facilities (where she probably sat down for a few seconds, waited, and then got up and flushed before washing her hands; maybe she did it to try and eavesdrop, which was hilarious since Serena and I would then communicate via Discord on our phones) when we were making food. Sometimes she would make a quick quip and go, "Oh, that smells nice!" but neither H nor myself nor Serena ever took the bait.
AND TONIGHT...was no different a night, where after Egg appeared from her lair, she paused in front of the bathroom, looking haggard and unwell with huge bags underneath her eyes. Her bare feet were gaunt—and keep in mind, Egg was a diabetic who shouldn't have been walking around barefoot, lest she get some sort of injury that turned into gangrene, though I was convinced she just didn't care—and cold as she stood there. A pathetic sight, H would probably comment, but he didn't.
"I've never lived on my own before, Karu." Her voice sounded like she was trying to conjure tears to make us feel bad.
<A wild Egg used crocodile tears!>
"What if I—" The whinginess of her voice increased with every syllable. "—need to make copies of things?"
<Heero is unmoved by crocodile tears! It's super uneffective!>
<Heero uses Deadpan! His Emotional Defense has increased!>
With very little emotion in his voice, H said, "You'll have to figure that out. It's not stopping me from moving out."
H, to me: Does she really think we're going to stick around to make cheque copies?
Me, to H: I guess so?
D to the both of us: is she a fuckin idiot???
H, without missing a beat: Yeah, she is.
"But who will help me with [arbitrary thing]? I don't know anything about the computer! Oh my gaaaawd, Karu..."
D: why is that your problem
H: Why should I have Karu be stuck here just so they can do ~computer things~ for her?
D: why tf wouldn't you learn the computer?? they said the digital era was coming back in like 1985!
H: Because she figured her husband would be taking care of her until they both died.
D: and what, taken into the hands of God??? fuck that she fucked herself
H: I'm not letting them stay here any longer than necessary. I have a job to do here, Egg, and you're trying to ruin it.
<Heero uses Truth Bomb!>
"Again, that isn't my problem."
<Hit to key!>
<Wild Egg fainted!>
Except Egg didn't actually faint, she retreated into the bathroom to do her business and then meandered back to her lair.
<Egg used Guilt Trip Cry!>
"Is she seriously sobbing?" H asked, as dinner continued to cook. Serena shrugged.
"Oh noooo, Eggie, you're gonna have to figure things out for yourself! Oh noooooooooo."
<But everyone was unhearing...>
It is at this point that I should note... Nothing is going to stop me from moving out.
くりかえす: Nothing will stop me from moving out.
How soon that happens depends on your behaviour, like getting out of prison early:
Good behaviour: We'll take our time, do a lot of research, look at a bunch of places and get a feel for things before making our exit: stage left.
Bad behaviour: We'll talk to a mortgage broker or lender ASAP, get a preapproval, call up a realtor, and start looking at houses.
And here's the other thing: You keep telling me that I won't make it on my own and that I need you. You're projecting your own shortcomings onto me, which I don't appreciate. You can keep them, I have my own to deal with. You are afraid you can't make it on your own. You were given access to all kinds of resources and services for seniors who want to live independently—whether in their own house or in some sort of facility—so they can keep doing that. I think the reality is far bleaker than you realise or want to accept, but that's what it is. When life gives you lemons and you don't want to make lemonade, you're gonna have to find something else to do with them, like flavour your tea or water, or make a meringue, or something. But you don't want to do that either. So you're stuck with a bunch of lemons everywhere.
In the case of making photocopies, there is this MAGICAL place called a ~*~LIBRARY~*~ (*gasp!*) where you can get photocopies done and things printed. They have computers! They have it all. And they are staffed by helpful keepers of ~arcane and esoteric knowledge~ known as ~*~LIBRARIANS~*~ who will guide you. They're also used to helping analog-only seniors navigate the increasingly digital-only world.
But it's not gonna be me.
