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omaewokorosuThis is both a review and also a rather detailed synopsis of the episode, with my commentary mixed in. As a result, it has spoilers. If you have not seen Weiss Kreuz and don't want to be spoiled, don't click the cut. Otherwise, proceed ahead.
(There will also be screencaps because I am awesome like that.)
So episode one opens up with a bunch of men driving in a Chevy van/truck/car of sorts. It's grey and nondescript, just like the occupants of it and the skies above since it's so damn rainy and OH SHIT WE'RE UNDER ATTACK BY A BUNCH OF GUYS WHO LOOK LIKE THIS:
Oooh, scary. They burst through the windows of the car like some creature out of Resident Evil and start attacking their seemingly innocent victims. But enough about them, let's go see the happy couple talk about not staying up late and all sorts of shit.
Observe:
Who the hell said you should wear those boots with that coloured skirt and shirt combo? Ugh.
Anyway, the guy is Masato and the girl is Michiru and they are our obligatory couple and they start a running theme in Weiss Kreuz and also tell you to not get attached to anyone.
So they banter for a while and Masato's all I'LL SEE YOU LATER and then suddenly a Chevy falls from the sky--okay, the overpass above--and lands right on top of Masato, causing an explosion and for Masato's motorbike to suddenly lose all its colour, because that's what a five dollar animation and colouring budget gets you because that's all you had left after hiring all the voice talents.
The animation at this point isn't too bad--it gets worse later on in the episode. Much worse.
So Michiru's all, "Masato... Masato...?" and then we get a dramatic look at Masato's broken helmet, because Weiss Kreuz tends to be melodramatic a lot of the time. Then she starts screaming into the night and presumably someone calls an ambulance or maybe the police or someone so Masato's squished remains can be scraped off the street.
BTW this is only the first four minutes. We have twenty more to go!
Lockvogel - (n.) decoy; (v.) to lure, trap, bait, snare
Each of the German words in a Weiss Kreuz episode usually refers to the main plot point or something that happens in the episode. First episode is "decoy". Remember it. I'm going to quiz you later.
I have no idea what "sacred banquet" refers to; Koyasu was probably all THAT SOUNDS REALLY COOL and thus, there it is.
Here are the bad guys we're dealing with--try not to laugh. They are apparently not that great at their jobs because they were supposed to kill the grey, nondescript guys and take some rather important M.O. disc in the process. Well, they screwed that up like a dog's breakfast because they don't have the disc. I think they need to learn how to follow instructions. Dude in all black wardrobe and orange hair is all, "We're killers. If you want something picked up, call someone else." The fact that he only did half of what he was paid for doesn't cross his mind at all, I guess. Person who hired him obviously agrees with me because he says, "A contract is a contract, you'll get paid when I get the disc." Which translates mostly to YOU AGREED TO DO THIS, YOU GET PAID WHEN YOU FINISH THE JOB. It'd be like if your job was to clean toilets and take out the trash, but you only took out the trash and said, "You want someone to clean the toilets? Get a janitor, I'm only a garbage collector!"
Well this killer guy isn't too thrilled with hearing that, so he throws his cell phone (which, since this is the late nineties, is only slightly smaller than your average shoe) at a wall, where it breaks with a nice, satisfying SHATTER sound. Axe Guy removes his axe from a picture of one of the Grey and Nondescript Guys, licks it like he's shaving his tongue, and spies a newspaper of Michiru, the girl from before. This is where he Gets Some Ideas and is all LEAVE THIS TO ME.
cue scene change because these guys are clearly Evilly Evil and they will probably be dead by the end of this episode anyway so why should I devote any more screen time to them
We now join Michiru with her BFF whose name I don't think is ever mentioned because Michiru's friend is not important. She's all, "Michiru, cheer up!" and is disappointed when Michiru is still all :(
Look, girlie. Michiru's boyfriend just had a car land on him in some freak accident. He just died. And you want her to be all WATASHI WA TOTEMO GENKI DESU~~~~? Yeahno. I don't think that's how it works.
(Did people really dress like this in the nineties? I was like, five or six when this show came out, and I do not recall seeing such shitty fashion.)
And now we have a shot of flowers and a bunch of girls who are, uh, not all ZOMG FLOWERS. They are instead ZOMG BOYS. I would be all ZOMG FLOWERS because apparently they sparkle not unlike Edward Cullen. I think the florists of this place threw on too much glitter and it landed on all the flowers. Or maybe the flowers are fake. You just never know. Michiru's BFF is all, "Oh we're in luck! It looks like all four of them are here today!"
Who's "all four of them", you ask? Why, they're our protagonists. You'd better get used to them, because we have twenty-four more episodes of Kapitel, two OAVs, and thirteen episodes of Gluhen with them. BFF drags Michiru along and she's all :| at best because, remember, her boyfriend just died. I think she's going to need more than just flowers and pretty boys to cheer her up, but whatever floats your boat.
So let's introduce our protags!
Yes that is our first shot of one of the four totes hot I promise guys. He looks better without the turtleneck, I promise. ...Get used to the sweater, though. I suspect his sister gave it to him. ANYWAY. This is Aya. He's twenty and is Author's Pet because his seiyuu is Koyasu Takehito (who has voiced characters such as Zechs Merquise and Hotohori) and he runs the show, ladies and gents. He gets all the close ups for the most part and exposition and angsty moments. Get used to him. Weiss Kreuz should just be called the Aya Fujimiya Show.And yet somehow I ended up being a Schwarz fangirl. Probably because no one wears ugly orange turtlenecks in Schwarz.His image flower is a rose, because roses are pretty but they can stab you if you're not careful. It fits Aya. Trust me. You'll see.
And then that became a meme with all of my friends.And this is Omi. Omi is seventeen and though he doesn't look it, he's the leader of this group of florists-with-a-dark-secret. He likes wearing shorts. His image flower is freesia, which is the same scent as my conditioner, and he has an angsty past too and he's also really awkward around girls, but not as awkward as Ken-Ken because...whatever. His seiyuu is Yuuki Hiro (voice of Nico from Hakushaku to Yousei), and he also has a fondness for shorts.
And lastly, we have Yohji, who is my favourite of the four and dammit this screencap does not do him any justice damn you derpy animation. Yohji is twenty-two I do believe, and he's a playboy with a horribly tragic past just like everyone else in this florist shop. He only goes after women who are eighteen or older, and that's only because he likes "mature women" and not because of Japanese laws (where the age of consent is thirteen). His flower is a cattleya (or however you spell it) which is a type of orchid and it's actually really pretty I own cattleya silk flowers okay so uh yeah. His seiyuu is Miki Shinichirou (who also voices...aww, the hell with it, just go on Wikipedia).
Now that I've introduced our protagonists--
What's that? "I'm reading about an anime about four florists? Who the hell cares?"
Would you stick around and be interested if I told you that these four guys are also assassins? Them being florists is just their cover, which is probably a good thing because none of them can flower arrange for shit except for Aya, and that's only because he knows the art of ikebana. Also, none of the girls in front of their shop ever buy anything, so the shop doesn't even make much money.
So the girls are all OMG THEY'RE HAWT SOMETHING AWESOME IS GOING TO HAPPEN TODAY WOO MAYBE ONE OF THEM WILL GO PRANCING THROUGH THE STORE NAKED WHO KNOWS
I do. They don't do anything that exciting. Ken asks if anyone's buying flowers and they attempt to jump him and possibly try to marry him or something. Personally, if I had to pick a member of Weiss to fuck or marry or have a date with, I'd probably go with Yohji. Aya's too >:| all the time to remove the stick up his arse and have a good time. Boo. Anyway. Two girls fight over who's going to help Omi carry flowers and he's kind of all o_O over it. Luckily some blue haired girl named Sakaki Ouka (as some girl says with disdain) rescues him by saying she'll buy the flowers he's got. Omi's all OKAY and the two girls are just all OOOOH THAT SAKAKI OUKA WHAT A FUCKING RICH BITCH SHE IS.
Rule #2 to Weiss Kreuz: Nobody is as they first appear, unless they are a bad guy
Rule #2a: Bad guys vary from evil to Evilly Evil to Evil With Some Kind Of Heart Maybe to It's Really Fucking Complicated, Okay? to You Need To Listen To The Drama CDs To Get Everything About Us SchwarzAnd just for the sake of reminding you, let me repost rule number one.
Rule #1 to Weiss Kreuz: Do not get too attached to anyone, especially if they are a secondary character
Rule #1a: if they're hot, they're relatively safe. If they're hot and male, they're not gonna be dying any time soon, because Weiss Kreuz values its eyecandy.
You can tell who the "bishie" characters are because they get close-ups. Here's one of them, and I even removed the subtitles for your convenience.
Anyway, Aya's all, "If you're not buying anything, get out!" because Aya's a real douchebagel at times. Which sucks because I find him attractive. Must be the red hair. Thankfully I am not the only one because despite the orange turtleneck sweater and douchey attitude, he's surrounded by fangirls and why has no one thought to file sexual harassment suits against these girls? They're swarming around Ken now, who asks for Yohji to "do something about this", but Yohji's response is that he doesn't care because they're not old enough for him and he can't be bothered. One of Yohji's fangirls is Michiru's BFF, so I guess she decided Michiru was too much of a wet blanket and dumped her at the entrance. Yohji also says they should take care of the situation themselves, and Omi's all :/ about it until he spots Michiru outside looking all dejected and just Not With It.
Why does that street look so empty behind Michiru? The flower shop is in downtown Tokyo. So Omi manages to break free of his fangirls and what do you know, Michiru's BFF managed to look away from Yohji long enough to run back outside and lament about her friend's misfortune and I'm pretty sure it's just the camera angle, because there's no way Omi, who is my height (5'4") can look that tall unless those girls are quite a bit shorter than him.
So Omi's all, "What's wrong, Michiru-chan?" and Michiru's BFF explains that Michiru's boyfriend "died in an accident the other day", sounding as if perhaps that is, you know, a normal occurrence. Yohji shows a look of suspicion and no that is not a gratuitous shot of Yohji shut up there is a reason it is there and asks, "Accident?"
"A car came flying off the expressway."
Ken and the girl in front of him both have an *eyebrow raise* look and everyone else is either unsure how to react or just kind of :o and lol Yohji towers over everyone. Well, how else do you want them to react to some freak thing that like, never happens? Then again, considering all the weird shit that happens in Weiss Kreuz-verse? I'm sure no one is surprised. I bet this happens all the time, and Weiss just read the script so they know what's coming.
Michiru, whose hair is the same shade of red as Aya's and I just noticed this, is all SIGH until Omi hands her violets. He then proceeds to explain how in flower language violets mean "cheer up". Aww. Omi's the only one with a brain that I've seen, because flowers are a nice "cheering up" thing, and I bet Michiru's BFF only brought her there so she could fangirl over Yohji. What a bitch. So Michiru is all :) and says, "Thank you, Omi, it smells good."
Well flowers do usually smell nice. It's not like they're all stink weed or something. So naturally all the other girls are all D: and Ouka goes, "Why does she get a flower from Omi?" Well, she's not a bitch and she's not trying to get into his pants like she's desperate. Yohji explains that Michiru is one of their regular customers, which means she actually goes there for the flowers and Ken chimes in that she's not there because of the hawt bishies, so she's not a pest like everyone else is. The girls are all D: YOU'RE SO MEAN and look, I am playing the world's smallest violin for you girls.
So then we meet this guy, and he has a case of the Crazy Eyes and maybe it's just because I've watched Weiss Kreuz more times than I can count on two hands, but he kind of looks like Hirofumi with Masafumi's Mad Scientist Eyes and no, dude, you totes don't look suspicious or evil looking at all. No sir. Why I bet you too just want some tulips to place in your hospitalised sister's window! No? Can I interest you in just some tulips then?
Maybe I also have my Slash Goggles permanently welded to my face, but I don't know if Aya's suspicious of the car that finally just drove away, or if he's staring at Ken's (maybe Yohji's) arse. Why do I never pick up on these things the first time--
Oh wait I probably did and just never mentioned it until now. Yeah.
Also yet another close-up. Shut up, Aya is pretty, although the red head I'm in love with has much lighter, more garish red hair and has a partner who wears hideous colour combinations.
SCENE CHANGE to a shot of some guy who really needs to close his blinds so our eyes aren't burning from THE LIGHT OH GOD IT BURNS. In the dub this guy says, "Hello, Weiss," which reminds me of Charlie's Angels and I'm half-expecting them to respond with, "Good morning, Persia." ...Wow that was immensely creepy. In the original, Persia (voiced by Kosugi Juurouta, who is the voice of other characters like Akio Ohtori from Utena, Aizawa from Sukisho!, and Oguma from Fire Emblem) just says, "Men of Weiss." And yes, Weiss Kreuz is showing its age by having video tapes and VCRs because this is goddamn 1997/8 and not only did we have clunky VHS tapes and huge cell phones, but we could kill people with our laptops and we were all apart of the Lisa Frank fan club and had Power Ranger lunch boxes.
(We also had to walk to and from school, which was a ten mile trek ONE WAY and it was all uphill, and we were forced to walk to school in the blizzard of '94 in shorts no less! You kids and your "iPods"!)
Anyway. This is Persia, the guy who gives Weiss their missions and presumably sends them their cheques. He's a mysteriously shadowy figure because he's cool like that, okay? He gives them information about their latest mission, which is to take down an assassin team named the Scalps. I guess they scalp people as their torture du jour? I have no idea. They have no screen time because no one cares Koyasu the writers can't be arsed, etc. etc. The one guy I guess punches people, this other guy uses an axe, another clearly stole Voldo's weapon from Soul Calibur, and Sena (you'll meet him much later, after Kapitel) must've taken the last guy's weapon.
And now for another rule!
Rule #3 of Weiss Kreuz: all assassination teams come in fours. This is also known as the "rule of fours", and it is the status quo.
Rule #3a: do not under any circumstances upset the "rule of fours". People die.
Rule #3b: there are some exceptions to the "rule of fours", but they are extremely rare and it happens in canon that little people can get a hold of Side B CrashersWhy do they come in fours? I don't know, considering four is an unlucky number in Japanese superstition.
Then again, the number four is associated with death, and these are death squads we are talking about.
So anyway, these Scalps guys are murdering innocents by using skills they came by in battlefields all over the world, implying they are mercenaries of some sort. Soon they will probably be dead mercenaries.
Aya, in a show of brooding, sits the hell away from everyone else, not unlike that kid who sits in the corner of the lunch room by himself because he hates the world and everyone else in it. Aya, amazingly enough, is not a misanthrope, though Weiss Kreuz does have someone who is, but he's on the Other Team and we haven't met them yet.
So after Persia's GO KILL THESE BASTARDS message via video tape, a chick who wears socks with her open toed shoes and extremely short skirt that's so tight I'm surprised she can move appears on the stairs. Her name is Manx. Well that's not her real name, that's her code name.
In case you didn't notice the theme, the code names are all cat breeds. You have Persia, Manx, Abyssinian (Aya), Bombay (Omi), Siberian (Ken), and Balinese (Yohji). Each team has a different theme, like Crashers are all chess pieces, Kritiker in Sendai went by other code names, etc. etc. The flower shop is Koneko no Sumu Ie, or Kitten in the House, and the old woman who helps with the shop has a pet cat who is probably the unofficial mascot or something.
Anyway, Manx asks if they're all going to participate, and we get a Dramatic Close-up of her too, because why the hell not.
SCENE CHANGE to...a building with a clock, presumably a school, and then a hard transition to a suspicious black car, because all evil guys in this series drive black cars with exactly one exception, and we haven't met that exception yet. We find our Story Character of the Episode Michiru in the library of her school, typing away on the same keys over and over and over looking up information on Grey and Nondescript Guys because why the hell not. Masato's ghost pops up on her screen and she cries and laments his death and wants to know why God had him die like that. She finds info on the guys and finds out they were political and social journalists who were probably sticking their noses where they shouldn't've and look, they got whacked. 'Cause all politicians have bodyguards and said bodyguards probably hire hitmen to get rid of problems, you know? Not everyone can be like Takatori Reiji and have awesome bodyguards who are also hitmen on the weekends or whenever it suits his fancy.
(You'll meet Takatori Reiji and his bodyguards later.)
Michiru hears a noise like someone coughing or knocking over a chair or farting and becomes suspicious and paranoid, asking into the air of the empty library, "Who's there?" Back to her typing she goes, until she hears a noise again, causing her to pack up and get the hell out of Dodge as fast as she can. She runs in a dramatic fashion and bumps into some guy, causing her to scream. To be fair to the guy, he did pop out of nowhere, and we kind of find that creepy and shady most days. Also, he's holding her wrists. She's all STOP LET ME GO, he's got her by the wrists, and he's all I DIDN'T MEAN TO STARTLE YOU and I am just all WOW WAY TO BE A CREEPER and god, Michiru, either you have multiples of the same outfit or you need to wash your clothes at some point. She finally stops screaming and trying to get away and she briefly sees Masato before he introduces himself.
SCENE CHANGE TO A COFFEE SHOP where we join our new couple in media res where they are talking about something. Guy's all OH YEAH I READ ABOUT THAT TOO and goes on about how four journalists were killed under "mysterious circumstances" because yeah, a car with all the windows blown out that suddenly flew off the expressway is pretty damn shady. I don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that. Especially if they were dead before the car hit the ground. He hypothesises that maybe they knew too much and needed to be shut up, so instead of torturing them or blackmailing them or sewing their mouths shut, they opted for killing them instead. How boring and cliche--I would have just sewn their mouths shut. They talk about what kind of secret they could have been hiding, but it's gotta be huge if they got killed. And that it must be on some sort of disc, like a floppy disc or something.
In case you don't know what a floppy disc is, it's square, about three and a half inches big, and it can't even hold a 3mb mp3 file on it. Also not floppy. Legit floppy discs were five and a half inches and they were floppy. "New" floppies were hard. Floppies are, of course, obsolete to CD-Rs and thumb drives and iPods and external hard drives, but back then? Yeah, floppies were fucking popular as hell. Zip drives too.
Flashback to the night Masato died and Michiru is clutching his broken helmet and there, right next to her, is a floppy disc. Conveniently, it's in a floppy case so it doesn't get wet from the rain, which would possibly render it completely useless because floppy discs suck. Amazingly, the rain is hitting everywhere except on the floppy, which means it's must be important. He's all THIS MUST BE IMPORTANT WE NEED TO GET IT AND BY THE WAY, MY NAME IS AKIHIKO KIMURA AND I'M NOT SHADY IN THE LEAST NO SIR. "Don't worry, I'll protect you," he says, according to the subtitles because I have the sound muted. Michiru consents and goes to introduce herself when he's all I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, YOU'RE HAYASAKA MICHIRU, THE GENIUS HACKER YOU'RE ALWAYS IN THE PAPER
OH I'M NOT A GENIUS
YOU SUCK AT TAKING COMPLIMENTS.
(Culture note: in Japan, if someone compliments you, you deny it. OH YOU'RE GREAT AT FLORAL ARRANGEMENT. NO, SIR, I AM NOT. I FUCKING FAIL. LOOK I MIXED THE ROSES IN WITH THE GERANIUMS AGAIN.)
And then we pan to Yohji, who is making a delivery, and it totes suspicious of all this shit, because his That Guy Is Creepy sense is tingling.
We're at the half-way mark now since we got the eye catcher, which is of Aya. Of course.
SCENE OPEN:
I'm not going to lie to you, this is pretty much what our living area looked like in the late nineties, down to all the computers, the TV, and the stereo set up. And the vinyls! Wow, that's creepy. It's like they were in my living room...
Anyway, she pops the floppy into the floppy drive (probably the A:\ drive), clicks on it, and it prompts her to enter a password whilst also flashing her embarrassing desktop wallpaper choice. (You're in college and yet have teddy bears as your wallpaper?) Michiru is all DAMMIT A PASSWORD THAT COMPLICATES EVERYTHING and knowing that, since this is the nineties, the password is probably something really obvious and stupid. I mean my password for my AOL 3.0 account was a nickname my dad called me when I was a kid. (He set that up for me, though, in all fairness.) His password was his wedding anniversary. Theirs is probably something like "bacon" or "samurai" or "cannon fodder" or "greyandnondescript123". Michiru hadn't done any research and has no idea what these journalists were studying, so she can't even attempt to guess at the password.
Since when did "genius hackers" need passwords, anyway? I thought they could easily get around them? Some hacker you are, Michiru.
DID SOMEONE SAY "INVESTIGATE"? BECAUSE I, FODDER NERD GUY, AM HERE WITH SOME RESEARCH STUFF BECAUSE I KNOW A GUY WHO KNOWS THIS DUDE WHO COULD GET ME SOME STUFF.
Akihiko comes armed with some information and Michiru and he sit down and bond over nuclear energy or whatever. Energy council. I was distracted by the very derp expressions on Michiru's face, which are due to the animation budget being five dollars.
Akihiko's glasses do some weird reflective thing, which is a sign there is evil in the room, or that he's up to no good and scheming, or maybe Michiru forgot to close the blinds and a car passed by. Get used to this being used, where evil people make it so you can't see their eyes if they wear spectacles. We will meet someone later on who loves doing it and he's a condescending bastard to boot.
THE NEXT DAY...
The birds are singing and the sun is out and oh who cares. Michiru's fallen asleep amidst all the soda cans and chip bags because studying about the energy council to see if maybe they left any notes in the margins that go PASSWORD FOR FLOPPY DISC: FLUFFY PANCAKES or something is boring. There's a note in her mailbox saying that if she wants to know the truth about the incident, to come to Villa White located on Mount Takegami on April 8th. Akihiko finds this note suspicious when she shows it to him at the cafe they frequent. She's not going to let the note's mysterious origins stop her from solving this mystery, dammit! and says she's going regardless of what he says. So he says he'll accompany her.
Fast forward to April 8th, where Michiru and Akihiko are driving in a considerable amount of snow to what appears to be a cabin in the middle of, well, nowhere. Now, if you've seen this series more than once, and certainly as many times as I have, you will not only get the reference, but also know how this ends. Or maybe you'll get the reference even if this is your first time seeing it, if you know some German. Villa White. White is "Weiss" in German. This is Weiss' secret lair or some shit. Anyway, they arrive at Villa White and go to the front door, wondering if they should even bother going inside. After all, they don't know who lives here. It could be an axe murderer for all they know! But Michiru doesn't want them to've come here for nothing. Michiru opens the door and gasps in surprise. Someone's home! Oh dear! Who could it be?
It's Omi, carrying a basket of what looks like food. I guess he's going over the hill and through the woods to grandmother's house. I hope his grandmother didn't get eaten by a wolf in disguise. Michiru is confused--what the hell is Omi doing here at Villa White? Well, Omi wants to know what she's doing here too. I want to know what the hell Omi is doing wearing shorts when it's cold enough for there to be a foot of snow on the ground, but we can't always have all our questions answered. Behind her, the door reopens and there's Ken and Yohji, and Aya decides to show up because why not.
"Ken? Yohji? Aya?"
"Michiru? What are you doing here?"
"I received this letter and it told me to come here."
"Oh Ken, you dumbass!" says Yohji. "You delivered this to the wrong house!"
Yohji explains that it was delivered to her by mistake, that his past met his future, and Ken retorts it wasn't his fault Yohji's girlfriends met and he sent a note of apology to the wrong person.
"I guess that's the truth then," says Aya, who seems to have a non-douchey side after all.
Michiru is crushed. She came all this way, only to find out it was because Yohji was two-timing some women! And here she thought it would have been important...
"Who are these guys?" questions Akihiko, and I think he has every right to want to know who the hell he's dealing with.
"Oh, these guys are florists at the flower shop a block from my house."
Aya tells her to stay with them, and Omi says they came all this way after all, might as well make it worth the trip. Michiru asks Akihiko what to do, and he's all WELL I GUESS WE HAVE NO CHOICE. Omi is happy, because I guess they have to balance all the testosterone somehow. Yohji happily escorts Michiru inside and Aya is Very Suspicious about the guy she's brought but tries to not show it and instead asks what's wrong with him.
Yet another scene change, where Yohji is telling everyone about how this one time, at band camp, Omi fell and landed up a girl's skirt or something. Then a call comes in wherein Ken and Aya are stuck, and can't those bastards do anything right, asks Yohji. After excusing themselves and saying they'll be right back, Omi and Yohji leave to unstick Ken's car, leaving Michiru and Akihiko alone. She remarks she hasn't laughed so hard in ages, he's all WE SHOULD GET THE PASSWORD and they see a shooting star together. Things heat up and Akihiko is all I'M GLAD I COULD SEE THIS WITH YOU after she's all IDK WHY I'M ALL HAPPY ABOUT A PIECE OF SPACE DEBRIS BUT I AM and they almost kiss when she's all WAIT THAT'S IT
She runs inside and is all THAT'S IT THEY WERE ALSO RESEARCHING NUCLEAR POWER.
So what's the password? "DUST". No, really, I shit you not. "DUST".
And that is why Grey and Nondescript died.
So the screen loads and she finds out it's encrypted. No problem, she can easily do some hacking and un-encrypt it. ...So wait, she can do all of this and yet can't even get around a fucking password? Are you shitting me? Anyway, the loading screen reminds me of Umbrella Inc. and at last we see what the hell is going on. It's a chart of all sorts of political people who are doing Very Bad Things and Akihiko's face has gone from kind and gentle to Just Plain Evil. Akihiko then reveals himself as that guy who looks like Hirofumi Takatori with Crazy Eyes we saw licking an axe earlier. Oh noes! He's going to kill her now that her usefulness has run out. This is all after he throws an axe at her and rips his clothes off, revealing his Evil Jumpsuit and his three other teammates who Apparated or something. Michiru's backing up towards a bed, and lurking in the shadows are four people at strategic locations. In typical evil fashion, Evil Guy reveals his plans and blah blah blah you're going to die anyway, no one can hear you scream, little girl, the whole nine yards.
The power goes out. Michiru's on the bed. Now she's suddenly not. What the hell? Apparently she escaped out the sliding doors. After her!
Unfortunately, Guy #4 gets strung up by Yohji's garrote and gets strangled to death for making a girl cry. Guy #3 gets impaled by a crossbow bolt because he deserved it. Michiru's still running for her life... Guy #2 jumps her, but she doesn't scream, it's as if she's accepted her death...
Or not. She pulls off her clothes and it's not Michiru, but Ken instead, and he turns Guy #2 into mince meat and Ken is probably thinking, "Man, I do not get paid enough to do this shit."
Where's Akihiko? He's chasing shadows, and stumbles upon Aya. Akihiko asks him, "Who are you?"
"Weiss," Aya answers.
"You used that girl as bait!"
And Aya, with the wind blowing through his hair in a dramatic fashion and it also makes him look like a badass what with his trenchcoat with 54879534 buckles on it blowing out a little bit behind him, says, "In this world, those who let themselves be tricked with die."
Akihiko charges him. Aya breaks the seal on his katana, which also opens a can of whoopass, and slices Akihiko, killing him with no blood spilled because Kapitel is rife with pedestrian-style death scenes where they are all dramatically silhouetted and shit and no blood is shown.
(You want blood? Go watch the OAVs.)
The fight ends with this scene: 
Guy kinda reminds me of Seto Kaiba. Also the Dramatic Wind has returned.
SCENE CHANGE to Villa White, where Michiru wakes up and finds the place empty...except for all the dead bodies, of course, especially the one guy hanging from the ceiling, his lifeless eyes staring at her. She screams, and I don't blame her. Before hightaling it out of there, she of course has enough time to take out the floppy disc and run. Where's Weiss? Well, they left town too.
She calls them up, demanding to know where the hell they were, and Omi's all OH WE WERE SO SCARED, WE NEARLY PEED OUR PANTS AND WE DROVE THE HELL OUT OF THERE. In fact, he even says, "There were four of us, but we were totally useless!" YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN AYA, HE NEARLY CRIED.
And then she starts talking about violets and shit and they realise she's there outside sitting down at a nearby table. Behold Ken holding a cactus and Omi looking really confused. ...Meanwhile I'm still trying to figure out where the hell that table came from because I don't remember it being there before. She hands the plant to Aya, who just stares at it awkwardly. She's not asking you out on a date, Aya, she's telling you to not pee yourselves in fright again at the sight of dead bodies. Just smile, nod, and take the damn violets. And Michiru is all :D LOL and then the ending credits roll and "Beautiful Alone" plays and oh Yohji, your hips are so sexy hnnng.
THEN WE HAVE PREVIEWS OF THE NEXT EPISODE.
And then it ends.
Dear god this took FOREVER.
Anyway. Lockvogel as an episode is kind of strange as the first episode. If it were the second or third episode, I'd be less confused, but it's the first episode and the focus isn't on our main characters--the majority of the episode was about Michiru and her quest to figure out the mystery surrounding her boyfriend's death. Weiss were in it, yes, but it seemed like they were secondary to Michiru, and for a show about these four undercover-as-florists-assassins, it's a little confusing, especially since there's no reference to Michiru in subsequent episodes. On the one hand, it makes you go, "Oh hey, these guys seem pretty cool, I want to keep watching to learn more about them." On the other hand, it makes you scratch your head and go, "Well, that's weird, this episode wasn't about the main characters at all!"
The other thing about Weiss Kreuz is that, though there is a somewhat cohesive storyline, you can watch the episodes individually and nothing of value is lost. I have seen Weiss Kreuz all the way through probably twice. I printed out a short episode summary, watched the series all the way through, and highlighted the episodes I was interested in--the ones with Schwarz--and skipped out on the 'unnecessary' ones. I still know the storyline because Schwarz are kind of important, especially after the Takatori arc is completed. The only things that get lost are the expositional episodes concerning Weiss, but all of those happen towards the beginning to you can start skipping things after episode four.
I will probably say this in my overview of the last episode for Kapitel, but Weiss Kreuz is a story with flaws and holes you can drive a semi-truck through. It's not really well-written by any stretch. Is it enjoyable? I feel so. Is it worth watching at least once? I think so--my brother did not. I think it depends on what your expectations are. You shouldn't expect this to be the greatest anime in the world, because it isn't. If it were to be remade, it'd have to be redone, and everything would have to be rewritten and plot holes filled up.
You also have to take into consideration as to why Koyasu created Weiss Kreuz in the first place. He pitched it as a show where he and his buddies could showcase their talent. He wanted a show wherein he could show the world I AM AWESOME AND SO ARE MY BUDDIES HIRE US PLEASE. Obviously you need a story, so he created a story about four guys who were florists by day and assassins by night, gave them some angsty backstories and gave us some interesting villains. It's a shallow series.
Do I think it's worth going beyond Lockvogel? Yes. Why? Because I know there are some good episodes coming up. Weiss meets a bodyguard team. Whoopee, right? We're talking psychic bodyguards. Oh, that's interesting. And while I could easily just tell you what episodes Schwarz show up in and you can squee with me, that's not exactly fair. Even I realise that, and I am Team Schwarz all the way. Experience the whole package once or twice, and then start sampling your favourites later on.
Besides, I could have just originally watched all the Schwarz episodes, because I only watch my anime for Midorikawa Hikaru anyway. I watched the whole thing so I could say, "Yeah, I watched Weiss Kreuz," instead of saying, "Yeah, I only watched the episodes with Midorikawa in them." And I ended up loving the show anyway.
What's in store for episode two?
We are introduced to the reason why Aya is apart of Weiss--well some of the reason--and we are introduced to the reason why the first half of Kapitel is called the "Takatori Reiji Arc", and get to meet one of Takatori's specialist bodyguards. He wears a suit and glasses and he can see the future. And also kick Aya's ass.
Episode two is rather interesting because it creates a parallel between a boy named Jun and Aya. Jun has a sick sister who spends all her time in a hospital due to her illness. He visits her every day because he is an extremely doting older brother. Naturally her being in the hospital all the time means lots of money, and he can't pay her hospital bills. So he turns to Fight Club-esque places where he earns money to kill other people. It doesn't go so well for him. Aya both sees himself in Jun and hopes he doesn't become him, because, like Jun, he cannot afford to lose.
Unfortunately for Jun, he loses, because he didn't think what would happen to my sister?
What else?
Animation snarking.
This entry was originally posted at http://sailorvfan10.dreamwidth.org/171350.html. Comment wherever is most convenient.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-01-30 05:47 pm (UTC)To be young again and have this much time to use...
KUDOS. This was impressive! I've been desiring to read some Kapitel episode commentary posts / liveblogging.
Aya's all, "If you're not buying anything, get out!" because Aya's a real douchebagel at times. Which sucks because I find him attractive.
*lol* I find him attractive partially BECAUSE he's such a jerk. XD
...and now that we're on the topic of ep one and Scalps, I'm kind of amazed that I haven't seen more commentary on how these guys are clearly pseudo-Schwarz. No, I'm serious. You look at the characters, compare with later incarnation of the REALLY COOL BAD GUYS, and I think it's there.
Just sayin'.
I'm glad Scalps got axed and Schwarz shows up already in ep two.
I should comment on more stuff but I'm just back from a business trip and can't think straight. Looking forward to reading the next ep(ic) entry!! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2012-01-31 01:04 am (UTC)Well I'm glad I can somehow read your mind and fulfill your desire :D
lol Scalps. They are like diet Schwarz--they're not anywhere near as awesome as the original.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-01-31 04:31 am (UTC)Obviously Schu in my head snorts derisively about any suggested relation between him and the crazy redhead of the Scalps, and rightly so.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-01-31 07:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-01-30 09:54 pm (UTC)A species of Gentian actually grows wild up in Northern Michigan-- I found some one summer on the shores of Lake Huron.
Also, I switched to freesia conditioner in college thanks to Omi.
I think so--my brother did not.
I am glad I watched it, though it disappointed me. I think my husband's reaction matches your brothers. He did like the music, though.
ETA: I thought the non-bloody death scenes some of the most ludicrous scenes in the show, FWIW.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-01-31 01:10 am (UTC)Also, I switched to freesia conditioner in college thanks to Omi.
Was he a favourite of yours?
I gotta admit, as much as I love Weiss Kreuz, it is disappointing because there is so much potential it doesn't live up to, which is sad because this could have been a really awesomely amazing show. Instead, it sort of falls flat. I love it despite this, but I think that's what deflects a lot of would-be fans.
Yeah, I mean, come on, some guy gets sliced by a sword and all he does is fall to the ground? Where's the blood squirts? Where's the pool of blood? I mean really!
(no subject)
Date: 2012-01-31 11:15 pm (UTC)it is disappointing because there is so much potential it doesn't live up to, which is sad because this could have been a really awesomely amazing show.
This. Amazing potential. Flat-footed and often risible execution. And once they switched the art design... yech.
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