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omaewokorosuDo people want to read about Heero questioning literally everything in his life like I've been doing lately? Wondering why he was never allowed to have a normal childhood and why he got picked to be the """chosen one""" to save the world instead of idk doing dumb kid shit? Probably not. But I'm gonna write it anyway because I write for myself to begin with and I have spent my entire fanfiction writing """career""" more or less projecting onto fictional characters because my life fucking sucked.
anyway. I was actually going to write something else and then I forgot what I was going to write and then came the self-loathing entering the chat and yeah.
The Tinys had their vet appointment today. They both weigh 4.4 pounds so they are literally twinning I guess lol. Health wise they're good and because it took us a while to find, you know, a vet office, we have to start the vaccination series for different shots all over again. Which is whatever. Morticia was very good whereas Bean hated being there lol and the vet gave both of them treats for being so good.
And then Tish serenaded us the entire way home and I'm p sure she told the Void Council that we are awful lol.
Everyone in the office loves their names. Very on brand. They got lots of compliments on how pretty they are and the vet was like, "idk why people don't want black cats they're beautiful and who doesn't want a mini house panther in their home???" Not to mention how affectionate they are.
I had a pretty low mood earlier and Bitty decided she needed to snuggle with her nibi and then Tish and Bean also came into my office and this is why I love cats.
Aleks had been trying to figure out where the fuck we put two external hard disks. I wonder that about a lot of different things none of which are really important in the grandest scheme of everything but Aleks was hyperfocused on that stupid plate and then ended up hyperfocused on these hard disks. These hard disks have all of the recordings we made of Egg. Which who cares about Egg. That's not what he wanted them for.
Because they're 24/7 recordings they also often picked up our cats. And during this time we had Sadie and Saru. So Saru would sing the song of her people or something...and Sadie would demand her meals and just attention. And that's why he wanted them, to hear Sadie again.
Now I remembered where I stashed these in the house downstate. They were in the bedroom in the fabric drawer on the second shelf of the bookcase I regretably had to leave behind. So I knew where they should've been.
Except everything in that drawer was moved into something else.
The thing about Aleks is he's really good at finding things I've lost. And all of that stuff was in my office because it was all journaling and crafting and computer stuff.
"They're in one of these but I don't know what one."
"I know we packed them I just don't know where they actually are right now because they're probably not where they're supposed to be."
"I hate how disorganised everything ended up becoming especially towards the end."
So Aleks ripped my office apart more or less to look for them. Along the way he found a bunch of other useful things and he found something else he'd wondered the location of (the fisherman's knife). But it's like we kept coming up empty when it came to the Seagates.
"Well," I said, "I think they were with this stuff, weren't they?"
Aleks looked at it quick. "I think so."
We have photographic memory so I know where things are and if they get moved then there's a problem because it's not where my mind's eye says they are. And that was the major problem with this move lol. But Aleks started rummaging through and two seconds later...
"Found them."
He sat down and actually broke down crying because it meant he could hear Sadie again.
None of us took Sadie's death easy, of course. Sadie is a beloved member of our family and even though 16-almost-17 is plenty old for a cat (where the average is like 12), I felt like we were robbed tbh and that Sadie could've made it to 18 easily.
But she couldn't or she would've. Right? And she lived such a good life and we have so many happy memories with her and plenty of pictures. We have some video. We have audio.
I think the one who took it hardest was Aleks. She loved her papa so much and he loved her so so much. When we had to help her cross over the Bridge, Aleks insisted he be the one fronting. (Of course I was allowed to front to say goodbye too.) And he lost it. He didn't want to leave her there even though she was gone and that wasn't her anymore. We brought her cremains home and we surprised him with them. You know. "Sadie's home where she belongs again." And he broke the fuck down. On the floor. In the dining room. Just cradling her urn in hysterics. Aleks isn't really a guy who cries. That's not typically an emotion he expresses openly. But he didn't care.
So he broke down over these hard disks because it meant he could hear Sadie's demands for din-din. He hasn't done dinner for the girls since Sadie's passing, because the first one after she was gone was too hard. One less food dish to fill, one less cat to call. He wondered why she wasn't there making demands and went looking for her before remembering...
Aleks said yesterday he wants to start doing din-din with the girls again. He misses it. Even if it's just him feeding Saru and Serena feeding the Tinys (because they're in different areas) until they're all eating more or less the same food...
And even though Tish chose me...she loves her papa more, I think. Even if it's only a little bit more. And what's even cuter is Tish does all of the things that Sadie did with him. The purring, the biscuits, the demands for pets... Demands to be held... She will even curl up with him and sleep. And though Sadie has certainly visited a bunch and I've had a couple... The one who gets the most? Her papa. Sadie loves him still.
You don't understand unconditional and unending love until you have a cat.
anyway. I was actually going to write something else and then I forgot what I was going to write and then came the self-loathing entering the chat and yeah.
The Tinys had their vet appointment today. They both weigh 4.4 pounds so they are literally twinning I guess lol. Health wise they're good and because it took us a while to find, you know, a vet office, we have to start the vaccination series for different shots all over again. Which is whatever. Morticia was very good whereas Bean hated being there lol and the vet gave both of them treats for being so good.
And then Tish serenaded us the entire way home and I'm p sure she told the Void Council that we are awful lol.
Everyone in the office loves their names. Very on brand. They got lots of compliments on how pretty they are and the vet was like, "idk why people don't want black cats they're beautiful and who doesn't want a mini house panther in their home???" Not to mention how affectionate they are.
I had a pretty low mood earlier and Bitty decided she needed to snuggle with her nibi and then Tish and Bean also came into my office and this is why I love cats.
Aleks had been trying to figure out where the fuck we put two external hard disks. I wonder that about a lot of different things none of which are really important in the grandest scheme of everything but Aleks was hyperfocused on that stupid plate and then ended up hyperfocused on these hard disks. These hard disks have all of the recordings we made of Egg. Which who cares about Egg. That's not what he wanted them for.
Because they're 24/7 recordings they also often picked up our cats. And during this time we had Sadie and Saru. So Saru would sing the song of her people or something...and Sadie would demand her meals and just attention. And that's why he wanted them, to hear Sadie again.
Now I remembered where I stashed these in the house downstate. They were in the bedroom in the fabric drawer on the second shelf of the bookcase I regretably had to leave behind. So I knew where they should've been.
Except everything in that drawer was moved into something else.
The thing about Aleks is he's really good at finding things I've lost. And all of that stuff was in my office because it was all journaling and crafting and computer stuff.
"They're in one of these but I don't know what one."
"I know we packed them I just don't know where they actually are right now because they're probably not where they're supposed to be."
"I hate how disorganised everything ended up becoming especially towards the end."
So Aleks ripped my office apart more or less to look for them. Along the way he found a bunch of other useful things and he found something else he'd wondered the location of (the fisherman's knife). But it's like we kept coming up empty when it came to the Seagates.
"Well," I said, "I think they were with this stuff, weren't they?"
Aleks looked at it quick. "I think so."
We have photographic memory so I know where things are and if they get moved then there's a problem because it's not where my mind's eye says they are. And that was the major problem with this move lol. But Aleks started rummaging through and two seconds later...
"Found them."
He sat down and actually broke down crying because it meant he could hear Sadie again.
None of us took Sadie's death easy, of course. Sadie is a beloved member of our family and even though 16-almost-17 is plenty old for a cat (where the average is like 12), I felt like we were robbed tbh and that Sadie could've made it to 18 easily.
But she couldn't or she would've. Right? And she lived such a good life and we have so many happy memories with her and plenty of pictures. We have some video. We have audio.
I think the one who took it hardest was Aleks. She loved her papa so much and he loved her so so much. When we had to help her cross over the Bridge, Aleks insisted he be the one fronting. (Of course I was allowed to front to say goodbye too.) And he lost it. He didn't want to leave her there even though she was gone and that wasn't her anymore. We brought her cremains home and we surprised him with them. You know. "Sadie's home where she belongs again." And he broke the fuck down. On the floor. In the dining room. Just cradling her urn in hysterics. Aleks isn't really a guy who cries. That's not typically an emotion he expresses openly. But he didn't care.
So he broke down over these hard disks because it meant he could hear Sadie's demands for din-din. He hasn't done dinner for the girls since Sadie's passing, because the first one after she was gone was too hard. One less food dish to fill, one less cat to call. He wondered why she wasn't there making demands and went looking for her before remembering...
Aleks said yesterday he wants to start doing din-din with the girls again. He misses it. Even if it's just him feeding Saru and Serena feeding the Tinys (because they're in different areas) until they're all eating more or less the same food...
And even though Tish chose me...she loves her papa more, I think. Even if it's only a little bit more. And what's even cuter is Tish does all of the things that Sadie did with him. The purring, the biscuits, the demands for pets... Demands to be held... She will even curl up with him and sleep. And though Sadie has certainly visited a bunch and I've had a couple... The one who gets the most? Her papa. Sadie loves him still.
You don't understand unconditional and unending love until you have a cat.
