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omaewokorosuI decided to reboot my one Gundam Wing fic series because it's easier to do that then to go through almost 30 fics and rewrite them to make them compliant with all of the worldbuilding I've done. And if I'm gonna have to rewrite everything anyway, I might as well just start fresh.
(I rebooted Operation: PARENTING.)
I rewrote two of the fics before I'd decided on the reboot...so I updated them (which turned into half rewriting them) and updated the publishing dates because it's more or less new content anyway.
This version of Heero that I've been writing about and working on since 2018 hits a little closer to home than probably any iteration of any character I've ever written fanfic for and it gets to the point where I go, "Is this actually Heero or am I just writing an OC with a canonical's name?"
That sort of Imposter Syndrome I get at times. (I'm sure there are many who can relate to this feeling.)
The feedback I've always gotten on this version of Heero has always been positive and people like the way I write Heero simply because I make him seem...human. Flaws and all. He is a completely traumatised mess trying to get his shit together and grapple with all that life has to offer in a life post-Endless Waltz in a world that is at peace for the first time in...who knows how long... Where Heero is a war veteran and has lived about 5 different lifetimes in the span of like, 7 years. How do you deal with that? There is no "reintegrating" back into civilian life when Heero has never been a civilian. He needs to be integrated and that won't ever completely happen.
Today...I got a comment on one of the things I rewrote, which was a rewrite of a rewrite of the fic that started the entire fic series. It was written as proof that despite how fucked up and traumatised Heero is, he would still be a great father.
(Unlike how the fandom characterised him at the time, which made me go wtf. You really think, with your entire fucking body, that Heero would not only abuse his wife, but also his kids??)
Of course because AO3 has been hit by spambots in recent years shilling AI services disguised as legitimate comments ranging from positive to downright negative, I scrutinised whether this was even genuine. I've gotten hit by both types of spambots and it's to the point where they will register accounts in order to do this kind of shit so like. Unless they've gotten so much more sophisticated, it's likely a genuine comment. (Even though the commenter's profile is completely blank, I know for a fact there are people who have accounts just to leave comments and write on a different account.) It mentions fic details and it mentions characters by name (previous AI shill comments never did, they were largely very generic).
(I hate that I even have to fucking question whether the comments I get are left by actual fucking people but welcome to the AI Internet Hellscape, kids!)
The text in case you can't see the image:
(And I'm probably going to continue wondering if it's real or fake too even though I found it's a psedu for an account that is for reading/commenting.)
ANYWAY my paranoia re: AI aside...
I guess I'm doing okay with how I write Heero because the whole point of this series is...more or less...personal and emotional growth. Heero finding his "normal" despite not knowing what that is and not being able to ever achieve 100% "normalcy".
I'll reply to the review later (I say, and then will forget for a week).
EDIT [02.02.25]: I am not entirely sure what happened but a few days ago I went to go respond to the review and it is...no longer there? I don't know if someone reported it as spam or if the original commenter who left it removed it. It still shows that they left kudos but it's...kind of weird! So I guess I won't be replying to it after all...
(I rebooted Operation: PARENTING.)
I rewrote two of the fics before I'd decided on the reboot...so I updated them (which turned into half rewriting them) and updated the publishing dates because it's more or less new content anyway.
This version of Heero that I've been writing about and working on since 2018 hits a little closer to home than probably any iteration of any character I've ever written fanfic for and it gets to the point where I go, "Is this actually Heero or am I just writing an OC with a canonical's name?"
That sort of Imposter Syndrome I get at times. (I'm sure there are many who can relate to this feeling.)
The feedback I've always gotten on this version of Heero has always been positive and people like the way I write Heero simply because I make him seem...human. Flaws and all. He is a completely traumatised mess trying to get his shit together and grapple with all that life has to offer in a life post-Endless Waltz in a world that is at peace for the first time in...who knows how long... Where Heero is a war veteran and has lived about 5 different lifetimes in the span of like, 7 years. How do you deal with that? There is no "reintegrating" back into civilian life when Heero has never been a civilian. He needs to be integrated and that won't ever completely happen.
Today...I got a comment on one of the things I rewrote, which was a rewrite of a rewrite of the fic that started the entire fic series. It was written as proof that despite how fucked up and traumatised Heero is, he would still be a great father.
(Unlike how the fandom characterised him at the time, which made me go wtf. You really think, with your entire fucking body, that Heero would not only abuse his wife, but also his kids??)
Of course because AO3 has been hit by spambots in recent years shilling AI services disguised as legitimate comments ranging from positive to downright negative, I scrutinised whether this was even genuine. I've gotten hit by both types of spambots and it's to the point where they will register accounts in order to do this kind of shit so like. Unless they've gotten so much more sophisticated, it's likely a genuine comment. (Even though the commenter's profile is completely blank, I know for a fact there are people who have accounts just to leave comments and write on a different account.) It mentions fic details and it mentions characters by name (previous AI shill comments never did, they were largely very generic).
(I hate that I even have to fucking question whether the comments I get are left by actual fucking people but welcome to the AI Internet Hellscape, kids!)
The text in case you can't see the image:
Elsiefreya200 (Registered User) left the following comment on there will never be a father who loved his daughter more than i love you:
Your story does a great job of showing Heero Yuy’s emotional journey as he steps into fatherhood, moving from a past filled with destruction to a life of love and purpose. You skillfully combine personal growth with emotional depth, highlighting Heero’s inner conflict and his commitment to his family. The pacing keeps the reader hooked, while the dialogue and reflections reveal the evolution of his character. The way Relena and Heero’s relationship is portrayed adds an extra layer of depth to the story, making it truly moving. Overall, you create a powerful, heartfelt tale of redemption and new beginnings.
(And I'm probably going to continue wondering if it's real or fake too even though I found it's a psedu for an account that is for reading/commenting.)
ANYWAY my paranoia re: AI aside...
I guess I'm doing okay with how I write Heero because the whole point of this series is...more or less...personal and emotional growth. Heero finding his "normal" despite not knowing what that is and not being able to ever achieve 100% "normalcy".
I'll reply to the review later (I say, and then will forget for a week).
EDIT [02.02.25]: I am not entirely sure what happened but a few days ago I went to go respond to the review and it is...no longer there? I don't know if someone reported it as spam or if the original commenter who left it removed it. It still shows that they left kudos but it's...kind of weird! So I guess I won't be replying to it after all...
