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omaewokorosuAttempted suicide is used as a manipulation tactic in this. Tread carefully nonetheless if you're particularly sensitive to such topic.
"I need your help!"
It was the evening of 2 March, 2024. Ren and I were spending some time together since it was a rare weekend off for me. Snuggling in bed, pondering what to have for dinner, what we should watch next... Until she turned to me and said, "I think Egg is calling for you."
Pause YouTube. Listen harder. Ren's hearing is better than mine is, so at first I didn't hear anything at all. Until...
"[Dead name]! I need your help!"
The last time Egg had done something like this, it wasn't even an emergency, or mildly important. Egg liked to make the most trivial and mundane of matters into earth shattering, "the world is ending" disaster scenarios, when all she needs is a money transfer from her bank account. Or a bill double checked. Certainly not something dire.
So, because it's never anything important, but she thought everything was important, I more or less ignored it. After it, she probably wanted something that could certainly wait until tomorrow.
The annoyance at being ignored was clear in her voice when she shouted again, "I need your help! I tried to kill myself!"
I will admit, I nearly passed out at that. It led to me wondering why on earth she was shouting up to me about it when the phone was right there and she could make a phone call to 9-1-1 herself? After all if she was at the foot of the stairs, and shouting up with several minutes in between each time, it couldn't be that dire.
I don't do well with situations like this, so Aleks ended up taking over, because he is made for these situations.
Aleks and Ren looked over the banister. Egg was at the bottom, looking calm and collected and like she was waiting for a package to arrive. As Aleks and Ren debated whether a call to EMS was necessary, she shouted up again that she needed help. So Ren and Aleks made their way down the stairs, where Egg was standing.
No blood.
No gaping wounds.
Nothing that seemed to be an emergency.
She watched as Aleks took a seat on one of the steps, Ren standing not far from the bottom herself.
"I tried to kill myself." She sounded like she was describing the weather.
"Okay," Aleks said, reacting calmly. "Do you need EMS?"
"I took a knife," she continued, ignoring him, "and tried to--" She made a cutting motion across her neck.
"Do you wanna see the knife? The cuts?" She sounded giddy at the prospect of showing off her self harm wounds and the item she used to create them. Something was definitely off.
"No, I don't need to see--why are you asking that?" Something was definitely off to Aleks, even more so now. "Do you need us to call for an ambulance?"
Egg seemed hesitant. Guarded. "Well, I don't know. It depends."
Clearly her life was in no danger if she was trying to figure out if she needed emergency services of some kind.
"Do you need to go to hospital?"
Again, she hesitated. "If I... What would happen if I go to the hospital?"
"You would be put on a 72 hour hold and need a psych eval," Aleks answered, his voice almost cold sounding. "Then once you got cleared to leave, you would need to seek out a psych--"
Egg clicked her tongue and sighed in annoyance. "Oh I don't wanna start all that up again. Having to go to a psychiatrist and all that bullshit."
Oh. Clearly Egg was just wasting everyone's time, because if she genuinely needed help, she would've been on her way to hospital by then. She would've accepted help (eventually).
"Besides, I don't think I can go, I don't want to miss my mammogram appointment on Monday, and if I have to stay for 72 hours, then...I would have to reschedule, and that would be another pain in the ass..."
The last thing I ever thought about when I was suicidal were things like doctor appointments and other mundane things commonplace in life. They were the furthest thing from my mind. I was too fixated on wanting this existential pain to end, for me to disappear so that I no longer had to deal with all of this psychological pain and suffering, to give a shit about something like "doctor appointments".
She was so completely unserious about the entire thing that Aleks and Ren knew this was a case of the boy who called "wolf!" when there was no wolf to be found.
"The next time you tell us you've attempted something, we're calling 9-1-1."
"You know, this isn't the first time I've attempted recently. I've tried three or four times now." She sounded like she was panicking. She was losing her captive audience.
"How recent?"
"Within the past few months."
"Okay, so knowing that, I'm feeling pretty inclined towards calling 9-1-1, and letting them deal with everything."
"But my mammogram...!"
Aleks sighed.
"Next time we're calling 9-1-1 and letting them handle this. This isn't something either of us are equipped to handle."
Aleks headed back upstairs and lingered in the hallway for Ren...who ended up talking with Egg more about the eye doctor thing and when that was going to happen. Ren said that it wasn't and that she couldn't do it anymore, she had too much going on mentally, and that she would need to figure out a way to get there herself, or pick somewhere a lot closer. Anyone else would've said that that was okay and that she would figure it out. But not Egg. Egg couldn't understand why or what had changed. She "begged" and "pleaded" (I.e. tried to manipulate her) for Ren to reconsider, but Ren reiterated her boundaries and refused to let them be cast aside.
That's what began Egg's vindictive vendetta against my wife. All because she changed her mind, which she is allowed to do, but it reminded Egg of one very important fact:
Ren was beyond her control from the start. And to a narcissist that's a dangerous thing. They will do whatever they can to try to bring their victim(s) to heel underneath their palm at their feet, waiting and biding their time until they can be of use. Now we were wise to her games and refused to play them anymore, and Ren had had enough and put her foot down.
Egg went to bed after everything was over.
In the following days Egg would yell and shout about how Ren "should do the right thing" and would say the absolute worst things about her. She would make remarks like "I even let you keep your stupid cat when you moved in. You care about her more than your own mother-in-law". Completely unhinged. She would ask us, "Why is it that Ren doesn't want to take me to the eye doctor anymore?" as if I held all of the answers to why. If you want to know why, ask her, I wanted to say, as I helped her unload her groceries and put the apples in the fruit crisper.
War in this house was declared by Egg on 2 March 2024.
"I need your help!"
It was the evening of 2 March, 2024. Ren and I were spending some time together since it was a rare weekend off for me. Snuggling in bed, pondering what to have for dinner, what we should watch next... Until she turned to me and said, "I think Egg is calling for you."
Pause YouTube. Listen harder. Ren's hearing is better than mine is, so at first I didn't hear anything at all. Until...
"[Dead name]! I need your help!"
The last time Egg had done something like this, it wasn't even an emergency, or mildly important. Egg liked to make the most trivial and mundane of matters into earth shattering, "the world is ending" disaster scenarios, when all she needs is a money transfer from her bank account. Or a bill double checked. Certainly not something dire.
So, because it's never anything important, but she thought everything was important, I more or less ignored it. After it, she probably wanted something that could certainly wait until tomorrow.
The annoyance at being ignored was clear in her voice when she shouted again, "I need your help! I tried to kill myself!"
I will admit, I nearly passed out at that. It led to me wondering why on earth she was shouting up to me about it when the phone was right there and she could make a phone call to 9-1-1 herself? After all if she was at the foot of the stairs, and shouting up with several minutes in between each time, it couldn't be that dire.
I don't do well with situations like this, so Aleks ended up taking over, because he is made for these situations.
Aleks and Ren looked over the banister. Egg was at the bottom, looking calm and collected and like she was waiting for a package to arrive. As Aleks and Ren debated whether a call to EMS was necessary, she shouted up again that she needed help. So Ren and Aleks made their way down the stairs, where Egg was standing.
No blood.
No gaping wounds.
Nothing that seemed to be an emergency.
She watched as Aleks took a seat on one of the steps, Ren standing not far from the bottom herself.
"I tried to kill myself." She sounded like she was describing the weather.
"Okay," Aleks said, reacting calmly. "Do you need EMS?"
"I took a knife," she continued, ignoring him, "and tried to--" She made a cutting motion across her neck.
"Do you wanna see the knife? The cuts?" She sounded giddy at the prospect of showing off her self harm wounds and the item she used to create them. Something was definitely off.
"No, I don't need to see--why are you asking that?" Something was definitely off to Aleks, even more so now. "Do you need us to call for an ambulance?"
Egg seemed hesitant. Guarded. "Well, I don't know. It depends."
Clearly her life was in no danger if she was trying to figure out if she needed emergency services of some kind.
"Do you need to go to hospital?"
Again, she hesitated. "If I... What would happen if I go to the hospital?"
"You would be put on a 72 hour hold and need a psych eval," Aleks answered, his voice almost cold sounding. "Then once you got cleared to leave, you would need to seek out a psych--"
Egg clicked her tongue and sighed in annoyance. "Oh I don't wanna start all that up again. Having to go to a psychiatrist and all that bullshit."
Oh. Clearly Egg was just wasting everyone's time, because if she genuinely needed help, she would've been on her way to hospital by then. She would've accepted help (eventually).
"Besides, I don't think I can go, I don't want to miss my mammogram appointment on Monday, and if I have to stay for 72 hours, then...I would have to reschedule, and that would be another pain in the ass..."
The last thing I ever thought about when I was suicidal were things like doctor appointments and other mundane things commonplace in life. They were the furthest thing from my mind. I was too fixated on wanting this existential pain to end, for me to disappear so that I no longer had to deal with all of this psychological pain and suffering, to give a shit about something like "doctor appointments".
She was so completely unserious about the entire thing that Aleks and Ren knew this was a case of the boy who called "wolf!" when there was no wolf to be found.
"The next time you tell us you've attempted something, we're calling 9-1-1."
"You know, this isn't the first time I've attempted recently. I've tried three or four times now." She sounded like she was panicking. She was losing her captive audience.
"How recent?"
"Within the past few months."
"Okay, so knowing that, I'm feeling pretty inclined towards calling 9-1-1, and letting them deal with everything."
"But my mammogram...!"
Aleks sighed.
"Next time we're calling 9-1-1 and letting them handle this. This isn't something either of us are equipped to handle."
Aleks headed back upstairs and lingered in the hallway for Ren...who ended up talking with Egg more about the eye doctor thing and when that was going to happen. Ren said that it wasn't and that she couldn't do it anymore, she had too much going on mentally, and that she would need to figure out a way to get there herself, or pick somewhere a lot closer. Anyone else would've said that that was okay and that she would figure it out. But not Egg. Egg couldn't understand why or what had changed. She "begged" and "pleaded" (I.e. tried to manipulate her) for Ren to reconsider, but Ren reiterated her boundaries and refused to let them be cast aside.
That's what began Egg's vindictive vendetta against my wife. All because she changed her mind, which she is allowed to do, but it reminded Egg of one very important fact:
Ren was beyond her control from the start. And to a narcissist that's a dangerous thing. They will do whatever they can to try to bring their victim(s) to heel underneath their palm at their feet, waiting and biding their time until they can be of use. Now we were wise to her games and refused to play them anymore, and Ren had had enough and put her foot down.
Egg went to bed after everything was over.
In the following days Egg would yell and shout about how Ren "should do the right thing" and would say the absolute worst things about her. She would make remarks like "I even let you keep your stupid cat when you moved in. You care about her more than your own mother-in-law". Completely unhinged. She would ask us, "Why is it that Ren doesn't want to take me to the eye doctor anymore?" as if I held all of the answers to why. If you want to know why, ask her, I wanted to say, as I helped her unload her groceries and put the apples in the fruit crisper.
War in this house was declared by Egg on 2 March 2024.
