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omaewokorosuSo today we got an update email...we are officially in the final approval process, like they are getting everything ready for closing final approval process...
[deep breath]
And the mortgage insurance people need a letter typed up and given a wet ink signature stating what this $28k deposit is in her bank account. "Why do they need to know this?" you, the hypothetical reader, ask me. "What does it matter where this money comes from? It's your money."
well who fucking knows it's probably to make sure that it's not from some major drug deal or idk defrauding someone I don't fucking know. I honestly don't know why these assholes need letters of explanation for half the shit they've needed letters for. At one point (during the underwriting process) they needed a letter of explanation as to why there were bank debits made in Elmira, Corning, and Matamoras PA; imagine having to type out "we were looking at houses in Elmira and Corning and stopped for gas and food" and "my spouse works in Matamoras, PA and that's where we grocery shop" and fucking sign that shit...
So my wife had to type up a letter of explanation saying that that money was a life insurance pay out because her mom died. Even though it says METLIFE as the entity depositing the money into her account. Metlife is a fucking life insurance company. But they need you to explain to them like they're five, I guess, what each and every little fucking thing is.
And our loan processor guy did warn Serena that these people might ask about the money. This guy is probably tired of this whole thing too. Everyone is tired. The sellers just want to be done with the house, their agent wants to get paid, our agent wants to get paid and is tired of the seller agent being up her ass every two seconds for an update, seller's attorney wants to get paid, our attorney wants to get paid... And I'm sure M&T wants to start getting paid too!
New York State is so fucking fickle with each and every goddamn thing. They needed a disclosure from the seller telling how old the goddamn roof was. Why do they need to know this? I don't know. A home insurer needing to know that makes sense, but SONYMA needing to know this? Makes no sense. Our private mortgage insurer needing to know this? Makes NO FUCKING SENSE NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE.
So she typed up the letter and printed the letter and signed the letter and then made a PDF out of it and emailed it off so our loan processor guy will see it tomorrow when he gets into work and send it off to whomever and then that should be everything, right? We should be able to finally fucking close on this??? I hope????
But every time we think this something else comes up and another fucking letter needs to be written. Like at this point they are out of things that need to be explained.
We have done everything they've asked for. Written all the letters. Gotten all the verification letters. Gotten all the disclosures. Closed all the accounts they wanted closed. We have the funds for closing. This should. be. it. But they will find something to nitpick about (they always seem to).
I want to be able to put in my two weeks.
I want to start actually packing.
I want to start getting supplies together for all the painting and improvements.
And I can't do any of those things until we know we're fucking closing and when. We need to know that we are clear to close. And then we can breathe a sigh of relief - a small one, because we won't be able to breathe easier until we close and we have the keys in hand so Aleks can jingle them in Egg's face and go
The finish line is in sight but it feels like it's still so far away...
[deep breath]
And the mortgage insurance people need a letter typed up and given a wet ink signature stating what this $28k deposit is in her bank account. "Why do they need to know this?" you, the hypothetical reader, ask me. "What does it matter where this money comes from? It's your money."
well who fucking knows it's probably to make sure that it's not from some major drug deal or idk defrauding someone I don't fucking know. I honestly don't know why these assholes need letters of explanation for half the shit they've needed letters for. At one point (during the underwriting process) they needed a letter of explanation as to why there were bank debits made in Elmira, Corning, and Matamoras PA; imagine having to type out "we were looking at houses in Elmira and Corning and stopped for gas and food" and "my spouse works in Matamoras, PA and that's where we grocery shop" and fucking sign that shit...
So my wife had to type up a letter of explanation saying that that money was a life insurance pay out because her mom died. Even though it says METLIFE as the entity depositing the money into her account. Metlife is a fucking life insurance company. But they need you to explain to them like they're five, I guess, what each and every little fucking thing is.
And our loan processor guy did warn Serena that these people might ask about the money. This guy is probably tired of this whole thing too. Everyone is tired. The sellers just want to be done with the house, their agent wants to get paid, our agent wants to get paid and is tired of the seller agent being up her ass every two seconds for an update, seller's attorney wants to get paid, our attorney wants to get paid... And I'm sure M&T wants to start getting paid too!
New York State is so fucking fickle with each and every goddamn thing. They needed a disclosure from the seller telling how old the goddamn roof was. Why do they need to know this? I don't know. A home insurer needing to know that makes sense, but SONYMA needing to know this? Makes no sense. Our private mortgage insurer needing to know this? Makes NO FUCKING SENSE NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE.
So she typed up the letter and printed the letter and signed the letter and then made a PDF out of it and emailed it off so our loan processor guy will see it tomorrow when he gets into work and send it off to whomever and then that should be everything, right? We should be able to finally fucking close on this??? I hope????
But every time we think this something else comes up and another fucking letter needs to be written. Like at this point they are out of things that need to be explained.
We have done everything they've asked for. Written all the letters. Gotten all the verification letters. Gotten all the disclosures. Closed all the accounts they wanted closed. We have the funds for closing. This should. be. it. But they will find something to nitpick about (they always seem to).
I want to be able to put in my two weeks.
I want to start actually packing.
I want to start getting supplies together for all the painting and improvements.
And I can't do any of those things until we know we're fucking closing and when. We need to know that we are clear to close. And then we can breathe a sigh of relief - a small one, because we won't be able to breathe easier until we close and we have the keys in hand so Aleks can jingle them in Egg's face and go
You thought this wasn't possible. You thought we weren't good enough or grown enough to be able to manage something like this. You thought you could suck the life out of us until you breathed your last. Well guess what. This is proof that we are better than you thought we were. You've completely underestimated us. And that stops here. Now.
The finish line is in sight but it feels like it's still so far away...
