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omaewokorosuPreviously on Weiss Kreuz...
OP1 - "Velvet Underworld": DW, LJ
#1 - Lockvogel: DW, LJ
#2 - Fort Laufen: DW, LJ
#3 - Paradies: DW, LJ
Spoilers, of course.
In case you couldn't tell, I am not a Weiss fangirl. I am Team Schwarz. Always have been, always will be. I find the episodes focusing on the pasts of various Weiss members to be, well, not all that interesting. Because really, the way these episodes are set up, the reason they're there is because of exposition. Oh, so you can find out about Yohji, let's give them a mission at Riot, where some traumatic shit happened before he joined Weiss! Let's have Ken meet an old friend of his so we can give you his background history. I mean I guess it could be worse, having them be all SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF A MISSION, but it's basically a more subtler way of the same, except there's a thinly veiled reason.
And if you're not here for Weiss, well, they're kind of tedious, because their backgrounds really do not have much to do with whatever is going on.
Anyway, on with the actual episode. This one is about Ken.
The episode opens with what appears to be a fancy party of sorts. We find out a few seconds later that it is a wedding reception. What does this have to do with Ken? Absolutely nothing! But you can tell that people are going to end up dead, because this is a Weiss Kreuz episode. People gotta die before the title card appears. You guys know that, you're all smart people, you've probably watched the show at least once all the way through.
So they appear and they're all smiles and they're walking down some stairs from this balcony and all of the sudden the waiters pull out guns and start shooting the damn place up, because I guess someone forgot to tip. And just for extra creep factor, one of the waiters is videotaping it, possibly so he can put it up on Youtube.
Verrat: betrayal
yeah that one is kind of obvious, isn't it
So after a sweep of all the carnage, we are introduced to a man holding a wine glass (we know he's evil now), and some guy with a totally evil moustache. Apparently the guy holding the wine glass is Takatori. Well. That settles it--the man is pure evil. Look at how he holds his wine glass! That's evil right there.
Anyway, the guy who got whacked was a politician, an enemy of Takatori's. Takatori spoke to some guy who heads a gang named "Creeper" because...I guess they're made up of a bunch of creepers? I don't know. I didn't pick the name. Yohji remarks that these people are horrible because they killed such a cute bride. Oh, Yohji.
We get a shot of the mastermind behind Creeper, and get a glimpse of his assistant, a young John Travolta.I love the outtakes, okay? Actually, his name is Kase (kah-seh, not "case" like Casey Jones), and Ken is all ZOMG KASE. Kill these two and Creeper will fall, because they are the brains of the operation. Everyone else is all, "Well that was fun," but Ken is visibly shaking and all o_o K-Kase! over it. Manx shoves a file in Ken's face and that stops his shivering for the time being.
Koga is the president of Asia Construction, or that's his public face, anyway. And like all company presidents, he has a little lap dog. His name is Koichiro Kase, and he wears a suit. All evil guys wear suits in this series--it must be in their contract.
Anyway, Ken goes back to being all ZOMG KASE and then we are given a flashback to Ken in a place where Kase is getting dragged away by some dudes, and it gets set on fire. Well that sucks. Back in the present, Ken is in denial. HE CAN'T BE EVIL, HE'S MY BEST FRIEND. Yeah, well, in the years you guys were apart, he became evil. Or maybe he always was. Some people just get the 'evil' end of the gene pool.
So he goes and grabs Manx and is all PLEASE POSTPONE THE MISSION. Omi's all WHUT WHY and Ken's all GIVE ME A COUPLE OF DAYS I WANT TO DO SOME RESEARCH and then he runs off. Yohji, understandably, asks, "What the hell is going on?" Omi gives us the obvious and states that maybe Ken has a connection to the target. Well if that's the case, keep him off the mission, because hello conflict of interest. Aya's all LEAVE HIM ALONE, LET HIM DO WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO. BUT WHAT SHOULD WE DO, questions Omi.
"Ken's a hot-head, but not an idiot," replies Yohji. LET HIM HANDLE THIS SHIT HIMSELF. Manx is okay with this, but make sure the target doesn't slip away, or you're all in deep shit. Deep, deep, deep shit. This scene ends with Omi seemingly staring off into space and Aya and Yohji staring at each other. Before, Aya was staring at Yohji's ass (in episode one), and now they're gazing into each other's eyes? Um. You sure this isn't a BL series?
Could've fooled me.
A SHOT OF THE SUN and then the camera quickly scales down a building, probably to give us a sense of LOOK TOKYO HAS ALL THESE TALL BUILDINGS WOO. Ken gazes at it with a ;~; look in his eyes. But wait! Who's that over yonder? He's wearing a suit, so he's a bad guy, first off. And it looks cream. What the hell is it with cream suits in this series? Did they get a discount or something? Do they all shop at the same store? The Suits for Evil People Shoppe? I mean really.
No, really, it's cream. With a black shirt and yellow tie. Who the fuck dresses these people? Who said black goes with cream? Ugh. A white shirt always goes, goddammit.
Do you hear me, Crawford? That goes for you, too. You need to let Schuldig dress you.
Okay, anyway, enough about Kase's fugly suit. He's with some guy who has the whole Brock Eye thing going on, hurr. Ken's all KASE IS THAT YOU I HARDLY RECOGNISED YOU IN THAT HORRIBLE CREAM SUIT COMBO OF YOURS BUT IT'S ME, KEN, REMEMBER ME WE WERE IN J-LEAGUE TOGETHER BEFORE SHIT WENT DOWN REMEMBER MEEEEEE?
God, Ken, what was in your coffee this morning? Brock Eyed Guy finally opens his eyes and Kase's all ZOMG KEN and runs towards him and can't you just hear the dramatic swell of violins and a field of corn or something? Kase's all, "I can't believe you're alive, Ken!" and Ken's response is pretty much, "Me neither!" fff. I'M AN ASSASSIN HOW AM I NOT DEAD YET LOLOLOL
Stop making me like you, Ken. You and your derp.
So Kase's all emotional over Ken's not deadness to the point where he has to wipe his nose on his sleeve and then Ken starts crying and dear god, you guys trying to make me laugh or something? Meanwhile Aya is fucking creeping on Ken.
Aya, stop creeping on people. It's weird. Especially when it's your sister. No, really. Stop it.
Clearly the Powers That Be decided that was creepy too, and instead take us to a gym filled with sweaty men. What an abrupt change in tone. We're told that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, from noon until two, Koga works out here. He's probably one of these hairy, sweating men. Who knows? I don't. I don't particularly want to know, either. And it's not Kase telling Ken this, because they're probably still weeping over each other being alive, it's Yohji talking to some girl. Clearly Yohji knows how to work a recon mission.
Apparently Koga's bodyguards are there, so yeah, I was right, he is one of those hairy, sweaty men. Eurgh.
Yohji doesn't like that thought either, so he's all YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF BODIES, YOU HAVE A NICE ONE. WANT TO BREAK A SWEAT TOGETHER SOMETIME? Oh Yohji. <3 (The girl looks like she's considering it, too. Oh Yohji.)
And now let's get back to business. We have a shot of a brandy glass with...ice on top of the brandy. Either that brandy's been sitting there for so long that it's solidified, or that's an animation derp. What makes this worse is that the ice settles (since it's probably melting), but the drink doesn't move. Like the ice is on something solid. Which it isn't. Um. Has none of the animators ever had ice in their drinks? Do I have to make a demonstration?
"Make a demonstration"? Who the fuck says that?Jay does, since in German "machen" means everything from "do" to "make".
SO BEFORE ANYONE GOES ON ABOUT HOW KEN IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE IN A BAR, well, you're actually right, the legal drinking age in Japan is twenty and he's nineteen. But here's a fun fact: bars do not card you. My girlfriend has seen ten year olds drinking at a bar. Yeah. They don't really care.
So Kase tells us his story of woe, where he quit the J-League after The Incident and how he thought Ken was dead and all that crap. He had a shitfit over Ken's being dead but not really but that's what he thought at the time, and he left Japan for a bit. He could've gone to the mountains of Tibet and found some sort of dead demon or--
Oh no wait that's another group entirely. Well he could've still found some spiritualism. Or booze.
Kase's all IT WAS ALL MY FAULT I STILL WET THE BED OVER IT WEEP and oh hello there flashback we shittily transitioned into because it has nothing to do with anything. It's a soccer ball (or football for all you Europeans) going into a net. What this has to do with Kase's nightmares, idk. Maybe he fears soccer balls?
Oh, Ken's bent over. On his knees.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON oh he's in a soccer stadium. Why is he staring at the soccer ball like it's going to eat his face? So they start berating Ken for being too slow or something and he's all D: and suddenly the ball is multiplying.
Ken, are you tripping?
Another goal made. God, Ken, I'm a better goalie than you, and I don't even play soccer. I play hockey.Which is a way better sport.
Then we get a shot of a newspaper and we find out Ken's been suspected of being part of an illegal soccer gambling ring and he gets kicked out of J-League. Wait, suspected? You mean they don't have any solid evidence? What kind of justice is that shit? You can't kick someone out of something based off of maybes! Fuck you, J-League.
Kase slams down his brandy that we find out has ice that behaves correctly in liquid, and we find out that Aya, who is just legal to technically be in a bar in Japan, is still being a creeper. God, Aya, have a little faith in your teammates. I don't see Crawford following Schuldig around everywhere.
You know, the fact that Schwarz, who are supposed to be the bad guys, function better than the good guys is a little baffling. Maybe Weiss needs to experience Rosenkreuz. Yeah, that'll whip them into shape. ...If you come out alive and not mentally broken, that is.
Kase's all IT'S ALL MY FAULT and Ken's all NO IT'S NOT oh Ken if only you read the script.
Kase: During half-time... *FLASHBACK*
Ken and Kase are walking out of the stadium and to the locker rooms. Kase's all, "Keep up the good work, Ken!" and hands him a water bottle of probably vitamin water or juice or sake or something. Ken thanks him and chugs the whole thing. Apparently it was drugged, but Kase had no idea, he swears! But he made Ken drink water that he didn't know was spiked, so therefore he's an idiot. Yeah okay, I'm really not following your logic, but whatever you say, Kase. I WILL PROVE YOU ARE INNOCENT EVEN THOUGH THIS WAS LIKE, TWO YEARS AGO. Yeah, it's kind of your fault, Kase, because Ken had no skills aside from soccer, so he had to become a killer for hire but OMG KASE YOU'RE ALIVE.
Then we get another flashback, and this is becoming really tedious because I'm starting to get whiplash, because Kase apparently said the same thing two years ago! So now we must be subjected to said flashback. They're in a warehouse where they're having secret meetings or some shit. Yeah, I have secret meetings in a warehouse in the middle of nowhere. Smart. This smells fishy. Both Ken and Kase apparently had no fashion sense back then, because Ken looks like he got lost on the way to a Trekkie convention, and Kase is wearing a purple sweater over a white shirt and topped it all off with a salmon pink blazer.
Paging Carson Kressley...
Anyway, Kase is talking about how Ken will be back in the J-League once Kase finds out how to prove Ken's innocence, Kase gets all touchy feely, and they both talk about how they've been conducting their own little investigations. Then suddenly there's some guy who cracks something over...someone's head. I think it's Ken's because he falls to his knees and eats asphalt, and Creeper Guy drags Kase away and lights the place on fire. The flashback is over. My neck hurts.
We now have a shot of the moon--wow, look at how time flies!--and Kase can't believe he's with Ken again. ...Should I be getting slash vibes from this? "Jayden, this is Weiss Kreuz. You get slash vibes from everyone." Not true, I only get slash subtext for Aya/Yohji and Crawford/Schuldig, nyah. Ken looks a little forlorn, probably because he was subjected to three flashbacks about depressing things, like how he almost got torched alive. Kase explains that after that, he went to work for Asia Construction, which is how he met Koga, and I'm not talking about the gym leader either. That would have been awesome. No, we're talking about Koga, the evil guy who is BFFs with Takatori. Kase explains further that Mr. Koga has taken good care of him, and Ken stops walking.
"You should stay away from Koga."
Ken. Ken, don't do this. You did this in Holy Children, telling that sister that she was basically a target of Weiss without directly saying so, and she was all OH YOU WORK FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WERE SENT TO KILL ME and you killed her right in front of a kid, a kid with telekinetic powers no less who could have easily dropped the church right on your head, especially since you promised to protect the sister. Said kid will now fuck your shit up since he works for the other team now. In a team that functions better than Weiss does.
DON'T DO THIS. THINK OF HOW YOU TRAUMATISED POOR NAGI who was pretty much already traumatised since he accidentally killed some people, was bullied, left out on the cold streets and finally taken in by a nice sister who ran an orphanage ONLY TO HAVE THAT ALL FALL TO PIECES BECAUSE YOU WERE ALL RUN, SISTER, RUN BECAUSE I HAVE TO KILL YOU and then Nagi was taken in by some guy he was fucking afraid to shit of and wow how things have changed.
Nagi has a right to be afraid of men in suits. They're all evil.
"You should know what Koga's really up to since you're his assistant. HE'S DOING EVIL."
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, says Kase. KOGA IS AWESOME. HE HAS FUCKING POISON POKEMON, BITCH. AND INVISIBLE WALLS. HE'S AWESOME. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THESE THINGS.
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE, screams Ken and kind of sounds like Domon Kasshu in the process.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT, TELL ME DAMMIT
I CAN'T TELL YOU, I'M A FUCKING SECRET ASSASSIN. JUST SHUT UP AND DO WHAT I SAY. Starting with "bend over".
I mean.
WE'VE WORKED HARD SINCE WE WERE KIDS, KEN, YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING, ANYTHING AT ALL, TELL ME WHY
I CAN'T, I'M BEING CREEPED ON BY SOME GUY IN AN UGLY ORANGE SWEATER AND HE'LL KILL ME IF I TALK
SCENE CHANGE to Omi looking like someone just poked him in the butt with a hot poker to the news of Koga joining the Elite Four--I mean, going missing. And after going through all the trouble of getting his schedule and making some plans... Ken's good intentions, once again, utterly backfired. First the nun, now Koga. God, Ken. You're not supposed to let on that you or someone else might be whacking someone. What kind of black ops assassin are you? Ken hasn't heard the news, of course, so they happily tell him that Koga's disappeared, and Aya tells him that because of what he said, Kase decided Ken was saying Koga was in danger and moved him to safety.
And Ken has realised that Aya was creeping on him this whole time, and is all WHAT THE FUCK, AYA? DON'T YOU TRUST YOUR OWN TEAMMATES?
No. No he doesn't. Not when they're telling the guy who works with the enemy he might be getting whacked. HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM Holy Children?
Omi restrains Ken and says that the mission is still in progress, we're gonna keep some tabs on Kase. Yohji chimes in that they have to find Koga, otherwise everything is pointless since Kase and Koga are both the targets. Aya's saying they should go for Kase first, because Aya is a dick and likes pouring lemon juice and salt into Ken's wounds. Hey, Aya, don't you have a sister who's in a coma she'll probably never wake up from 'cause she got hit by a car and you were too busy screaming to do anything? Ooh, did I touch a nerve? Well, think about what you say to poor Ken before you spout your shit. Being pretty does not excuse you from being a douchebag. Ken, because Kase is his BFF, is all NO KASE ISN'T EVIL. HE'S JUST SEVERELY MISLED, THAT'S ALL.
Even Aya goes, "You never learn." Well obviously. Kase is a wolf in sheep's clothing, dammit, don't you see the zipper?
Why the hell hasn't someone, like Omi, since he's in charge of Weiss, removed Ken from the mission, citing it as a conflict of interest since he's too emotionally involved, and then lock him in a closet somewhere until it's over? Would that make too much sense and not cause enough drama? Probably. But it would be the more logical conclusion. But fuck logic in a world where ice sits on top of liquid and you have psychic assassins running around.
Now we're at a place with a fountain of sorts, and Ken's talking to Manx to ask if she can talk to Persia about Kase. Kase's innocent, I swear! He doesn't know what he's involved in, honest! I KNOW HIM, DAMMIT, WE'RE BFFs! TELL PERSIA HE'S WRONG.
"Ken," says Manx. "Ken. Ken, if you doubt Persia, it's over." Doubting Persia is like betraying Weiss, and you die. With that, she walks away, leaving Ken shocked as hell.
EYECATCHER and it's Ken.
Ken's riding on his motorbike, thinking over his time and we get another flashback of Kase being dragged away and the place being set on fire. Then he realises he's being followed and some guy starts shooting at him. So he stops and gets off the expressway and into some brush they start shooting at aimlessly. Ken runs the one guy over and recognises another as the guy who set fire to the warehouse before driving off into the distance.
NOW WE GET ANOTHER SCENE and it's at an arcade of sorts. Ken drags Kase over into a corner occupied by a "Space Galaxy" machine, which is probably something like a "Space Invaders" rip off, and Kase's in that ugly cream suit again and fuck, do these people not have any other colour scheme aside from cream and maybe white if we're lucky? That's only if we're lucky though. Kase wants to know what the hell is going on, because it's not every day some guy drags you to a desolate corner of an arcade.
"I was attacked by a bunch of guys last night, and one of them was from that warehouse two years ago."
"OHMAHGAWD."
"Yeah, it's the same guy as before. His name is Koga Genji. Your boss, not the gym leader."
"WUT."
"WHERE IS HE."
"UM IDK MY BFF KEN."
"YOU'RE HIS ASSISTANT. TELL ME. HE MIGHT TRY TO KILL YOU TOO."
"Well okay, let me tell you all I know whilst I play with this joystick and maybe pretend it's you."
"What?"
"I'm gonna tell you all I know!"
"Oh, okay."
Kase tells Ken that he realised that a while ago since he's been investigating and shit, and he found out that Koga was behind it all. BUT IF I SAID ANYTHING, YOU'D BE IN DANGER. Like Ken's not already in danger since he got attacked by freaking ninjas. SO YEAH THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT.
"Kase..."
I WILL MAKE HIM CONFESS, FOR GREAT JUSTICE. HE RUINED YOUR LIFE, I ALMOST KILLED YOU. HE MUST PAY.
IT'S TOO DANGEROUS. TELL ME WHERE HE IS.
Yes because it's not dangerous for you at all either, is it, Ken. You know, having a weapon does not make you invincible.
OKAY HERE'S WHERE HE IS I SCRAWLED IT IN MY PLANNER LIKE, FOREVER AGO. HERE YOU GO.
Ken reads it and is all :O HE'S AT HIS BEACH HOUSE WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT QUICK TO THEBAT CAVE KONEKO
...which is what our next scene change is to. There are girls in front and they're pissed because it's closed. It's just Momoe and her pet cat. So they're looking at some flowers and lamenting they have no money, in the hopes that Weiss will show up. Yeahno. So Ouka shows up, grabs some flowers from the shelves, and buys them as a present for Omi. Obsessed much, Ouka?
So in response to Ouka buying 9584935 things of flowers for Omi...
My thoughts exactly, Momoe-san.
Weiss are in the Koneko, they are just in the basement, where their secret lair is. Aya and Yohji are just lazing around while Omi's on his computer chatting over his headset to Ken, who tells him he found out where Koga is. And then Ken is all KASE IS NOT EVIL, HE WAS JUST GETTING CLOSE TO KOGA SO HE COULD UNFRAME ME. YEAH. THAT SOUNDS CONVINCING, I KNOW.
Omi's all, WAIT WHAT THE HELL DID THAT HAVE TO DO WITH MY QUESTION? I ASKED WHERE KOGA IS. KEN. DON'T HANG UP ON ME. FUCK YOU FOR HANGING UP ON ME.
Meanwhile Aya is all >|:o and Yohji is very :| and Omi is all o.o like he can't believe Ken would ever hang up on him, that bastard. He's sleeping on the couch tonight.
Ken, meanwhile, is riding off into the distance towards Koga'sgym beach house.
Koga's beach house actually isn't that bad looking, but why do I have a feeling I've seen something similar to this before...? Ken sneaks around like a ninja in his mission gear, ready to shove his bugnuks where it hurts.
WELL IT'S KIND OF QUIET.
Shut up, Ken, you're ruining it.
Koga's office has windows instead of walls, which would give me vertigo if I were in his position, and how much you wanna bet someone's gonna get shoved through said windows? Ken charges him and finds Koga dead in his chair. Well. Someone beat him to the punch, but who? And why is there white stuff coming from his nose and mouth?
Eww.
Ken does not comment on that, just remarks that Koga is dead.
"What a fool you are, Ken."
THAT VOICE. SURELY IT CAN'T BE...
K-Kase?!
Raise your hand, how many of you saw this coming since Kase was introduced?
"Well, I told you I'd kill him..."
We find out that Koga started the soccer gambling ring, and that it was Kase who put the drugs in the bottle and had Ken drink them. And then he pretended to get attacked by those men in the warehouse to get rid of him. I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO WORK, AND SO WELL AT THAT MUWAHAHAHAHAHA.
Ken is visibly shaken.
HERE I GO, KASE. ALL MY LOVE, ALL MY HATE, AND ALL MY SORROW! SHINING FINGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
WAIT KEN, YOU CAN'T KILL ME BEFORE I TELL YOU THE REASON WHY I DID IT ALL.
OH. OKAY. SORRY.
Kase wasn't a very good soccer player; Ken was. And now he's a crime boss. He doesn't need soccer! Soccer can go fuck itself! And so can Ken. So Kase shoots through the window and gets Ken in the shoulder. And then tells Ken to go to hell before firing more. His gun makes pew pew pew sounds and looks ugly, so it's not anything I recognise. Figures he can't even get an awesome gun.
We then get a negative coloured view of Ken being shot all dramatically, and Kase wrongly assumes Ken is dead.
THIS BUILDING IS MINE, says Kase, and in case you didn't know, the scene has changed. But wait! What's that? Some shadowy figure and OH SHIT IT'S KEN. That scream and trail of urine both belong to Kase. Kase's bodyguards run away. Some bodyguards they are. Schwarz would never run away. They would just very easily kill you.
HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD.
HELL SUCKS.
OH, OKAY. I'M SORRY, KEN. CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS? I WAS SO JEALOUS OF YOU I LOST MY MIND. FORGIVE ME?
One bodyguard up in the tree tries to shoot Ken, but is stopped by a dart. Another takes aim behind something and gets sliced by a katana instead. Two more get garroted to death.
SPARE ME, KEN. SPARE ME.
Ken walks towards Kase, and Kase pulls a gun and shoots Ken again. This betrayal hurts. So Ken kills him, mission accomplished.
"How can you not die?"
Ken shows a bulletproof vest.
"Of course."
Before dying, he tells Ken he'll see him in Hell. Well. That's nice.
"This place is hell too."
Oh stop being so dramatic, Ken.
I will be upfront about this: this is not my favourite episode. Aside from getting enough flashbacks every five seconds to give me whiplash, it's all expositional crap, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's the way it's set up. It's set up for these flashbacks. And while now we know that Ken was betrayed, well, Ken's the most normal out of Weiss--for now. It doesn't look like this affected him any. I don't know. It bothers me. Also, without Ken, Kase is just there. Before we find out he and Ken have a connection, Kase is just another bad guy they're going to kill.
SIGH.
What's next episode about?
Schicksal, aka "that Freude episode", featuring Yuriko. Don't get too attached--like all girls involved with Weiss, she's only here for one episode before leaving it. Can't say I blame her. That's episode five.
How many more episodes until Schwarz?
They appear in episode eight, so three more to go.
Are you really going to do all twenty-five episodes?
Yes. I've been tempted to just do the Schwarz ones but meh. That's no fun. You want an honest impression of this series from me, I gotta go all the way.
This entry was originally posted at http://sailorvfan10.dreamwidth.org/172626.html. Comment wherever is most convenient.
OP1 - "Velvet Underworld": DW, LJ
#1 - Lockvogel: DW, LJ
#2 - Fort Laufen: DW, LJ
#3 - Paradies: DW, LJ
Spoilers, of course.
In case you couldn't tell, I am not a Weiss fangirl. I am Team Schwarz. Always have been, always will be. I find the episodes focusing on the pasts of various Weiss members to be, well, not all that interesting. Because really, the way these episodes are set up, the reason they're there is because of exposition. Oh, so you can find out about Yohji, let's give them a mission at Riot, where some traumatic shit happened before he joined Weiss! Let's have Ken meet an old friend of his so we can give you his background history. I mean I guess it could be worse, having them be all SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF A MISSION, but it's basically a more subtler way of the same, except there's a thinly veiled reason.
And if you're not here for Weiss, well, they're kind of tedious, because their backgrounds really do not have much to do with whatever is going on.
Anyway, on with the actual episode. This one is about Ken.
The episode opens with what appears to be a fancy party of sorts. We find out a few seconds later that it is a wedding reception. What does this have to do with Ken? Absolutely nothing! But you can tell that people are going to end up dead, because this is a Weiss Kreuz episode. People gotta die before the title card appears. You guys know that, you're all smart people, you've probably watched the show at least once all the way through.
So they appear and they're all smiles and they're walking down some stairs from this balcony and all of the sudden the waiters pull out guns and start shooting the damn place up, because I guess someone forgot to tip. And just for extra creep factor, one of the waiters is videotaping it, possibly so he can put it up on Youtube.
Verrat: betrayal
yeah that one is kind of obvious, isn't it
So after a sweep of all the carnage, we are introduced to a man holding a wine glass (we know he's evil now), and some guy with a totally evil moustache. Apparently the guy holding the wine glass is Takatori. Well. That settles it--the man is pure evil. Look at how he holds his wine glass! That's evil right there.
Anyway, the guy who got whacked was a politician, an enemy of Takatori's. Takatori spoke to some guy who heads a gang named "Creeper" because...I guess they're made up of a bunch of creepers? I don't know. I didn't pick the name. Yohji remarks that these people are horrible because they killed such a cute bride. Oh, Yohji.
We get a shot of the mastermind behind Creeper, and get a glimpse of his assistant, a young John Travolta.
Koga is the president of Asia Construction, or that's his public face, anyway. And like all company presidents, he has a little lap dog. His name is Koichiro Kase, and he wears a suit. All evil guys wear suits in this series--it must be in their contract.
Anyway, Ken goes back to being all ZOMG KASE and then we are given a flashback to Ken in a place where Kase is getting dragged away by some dudes, and it gets set on fire. Well that sucks. Back in the present, Ken is in denial. HE CAN'T BE EVIL, HE'S MY BEST FRIEND. Yeah, well, in the years you guys were apart, he became evil. Or maybe he always was. Some people just get the 'evil' end of the gene pool.
So he goes and grabs Manx and is all PLEASE POSTPONE THE MISSION. Omi's all WHUT WHY and Ken's all GIVE ME A COUPLE OF DAYS I WANT TO DO SOME RESEARCH and then he runs off. Yohji, understandably, asks, "What the hell is going on?" Omi gives us the obvious and states that maybe Ken has a connection to the target. Well if that's the case, keep him off the mission, because hello conflict of interest. Aya's all LEAVE HIM ALONE, LET HIM DO WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO. BUT WHAT SHOULD WE DO, questions Omi.
"Ken's a hot-head, but not an idiot," replies Yohji. LET HIM HANDLE THIS SHIT HIMSELF. Manx is okay with this, but make sure the target doesn't slip away, or you're all in deep shit. Deep, deep, deep shit. This scene ends with Omi seemingly staring off into space and Aya and Yohji staring at each other. Before, Aya was staring at Yohji's ass (in episode one), and now they're gazing into each other's eyes? Um. You sure this isn't a BL series?
Could've fooled me.
A SHOT OF THE SUN and then the camera quickly scales down a building, probably to give us a sense of LOOK TOKYO HAS ALL THESE TALL BUILDINGS WOO. Ken gazes at it with a ;~; look in his eyes. But wait! Who's that over yonder? He's wearing a suit, so he's a bad guy, first off. And it looks cream. What the hell is it with cream suits in this series? Did they get a discount or something? Do they all shop at the same store? The Suits for Evil People Shoppe? I mean really.
No, really, it's cream. With a black shirt and yellow tie. Who the fuck dresses these people? Who said black goes with cream? Ugh. A white shirt always goes, goddammit.
God, Ken, what was in your coffee this morning? Brock Eyed Guy finally opens his eyes and Kase's all ZOMG KEN and runs towards him and can't you just hear the dramatic swell of violins and a field of corn or something? Kase's all, "I can't believe you're alive, Ken!" and Ken's response is pretty much, "Me neither!" fff. I'M AN ASSASSIN HOW AM I NOT DEAD YET LOLOLOL
Stop making me like you, Ken. You and your derp.
So Kase's all emotional over Ken's not deadness to the point where he has to wipe his nose on his sleeve and then Ken starts crying and dear god, you guys trying to make me laugh or something? Meanwhile Aya is fucking creeping on Ken.
Aya, stop creeping on people. It's weird. Especially when it's your sister. No, really. Stop it.
Clearly the Powers That Be decided that was creepy too, and instead take us to a gym filled with sweaty men. What an abrupt change in tone. We're told that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, from noon until two, Koga works out here. He's probably one of these hairy, sweating men. Who knows? I don't. I don't particularly want to know, either. And it's not Kase telling Ken this, because they're probably still weeping over each other being alive, it's Yohji talking to some girl. Clearly Yohji knows how to work a recon mission.
Apparently Koga's bodyguards are there, so yeah, I was right, he is one of those hairy, sweaty men. Eurgh.
Yohji doesn't like that thought either, so he's all YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF BODIES, YOU HAVE A NICE ONE. WANT TO BREAK A SWEAT TOGETHER SOMETIME? Oh Yohji. <3 (The girl looks like she's considering it, too. Oh Yohji.)
And now let's get back to business. We have a shot of a brandy glass with...ice on top of the brandy. Either that brandy's been sitting there for so long that it's solidified, or that's an animation derp. What makes this worse is that the ice settles (since it's probably melting), but the drink doesn't move. Like the ice is on something solid. Which it isn't. Um. Has none of the animators ever had ice in their drinks? Do I have to make a demonstration?
"Make a demonstration"? Who the fuck says that?
SO BEFORE ANYONE GOES ON ABOUT HOW KEN IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE IN A BAR, well, you're actually right, the legal drinking age in Japan is twenty and he's nineteen. But here's a fun fact: bars do not card you. My girlfriend has seen ten year olds drinking at a bar. Yeah. They don't really care.
So Kase tells us his story of woe, where he quit the J-League after The Incident and how he thought Ken was dead and all that crap. He had a shitfit over Ken's being dead but not really but that's what he thought at the time, and he left Japan for a bit. He could've gone to the mountains of Tibet and found some sort of dead demon or--
Oh no wait that's another group entirely. Well he could've still found some spiritualism. Or booze.
Kase's all IT WAS ALL MY FAULT I STILL WET THE BED OVER IT WEEP and oh hello there flashback we shittily transitioned into because it has nothing to do with anything. It's a soccer ball (or football for all you Europeans) going into a net. What this has to do with Kase's nightmares, idk. Maybe he fears soccer balls?
Oh, Ken's bent over. On his knees.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON oh he's in a soccer stadium. Why is he staring at the soccer ball like it's going to eat his face? So they start berating Ken for being too slow or something and he's all D: and suddenly the ball is multiplying.
Ken, are you tripping?
Another goal made. God, Ken, I'm a better goalie than you, and I don't even play soccer. I play hockey.
Then we get a shot of a newspaper and we find out Ken's been suspected of being part of an illegal soccer gambling ring and he gets kicked out of J-League. Wait, suspected? You mean they don't have any solid evidence? What kind of justice is that shit? You can't kick someone out of something based off of maybes! Fuck you, J-League.
Kase slams down his brandy that we find out has ice that behaves correctly in liquid, and we find out that Aya, who is just legal to technically be in a bar in Japan, is still being a creeper. God, Aya, have a little faith in your teammates. I don't see Crawford following Schuldig around everywhere.
You know, the fact that Schwarz, who are supposed to be the bad guys, function better than the good guys is a little baffling. Maybe Weiss needs to experience Rosenkreuz. Yeah, that'll whip them into shape. ...If you come out alive and not mentally broken, that is.
Kase's all IT'S ALL MY FAULT and Ken's all NO IT'S NOT oh Ken if only you read the script.
Kase: During half-time... *FLASHBACK*
Ken and Kase are walking out of the stadium and to the locker rooms. Kase's all, "Keep up the good work, Ken!" and hands him a water bottle of probably vitamin water or juice or sake or something. Ken thanks him and chugs the whole thing. Apparently it was drugged, but Kase had no idea, he swears! But he made Ken drink water that he didn't know was spiked, so therefore he's an idiot. Yeah okay, I'm really not following your logic, but whatever you say, Kase. I WILL PROVE YOU ARE INNOCENT EVEN THOUGH THIS WAS LIKE, TWO YEARS AGO. Yeah, it's kind of your fault, Kase, because Ken had no skills aside from soccer, so he had to become a killer for hire but OMG KASE YOU'RE ALIVE.
Then we get another flashback, and this is becoming really tedious because I'm starting to get whiplash, because Kase apparently said the same thing two years ago! So now we must be subjected to said flashback. They're in a warehouse where they're having secret meetings or some shit. Yeah, I have secret meetings in a warehouse in the middle of nowhere. Smart. This smells fishy. Both Ken and Kase apparently had no fashion sense back then, because Ken looks like he got lost on the way to a Trekkie convention, and Kase is wearing a purple sweater over a white shirt and topped it all off with a salmon pink blazer.
Paging Carson Kressley...
Anyway, Kase is talking about how Ken will be back in the J-League once Kase finds out how to prove Ken's innocence, Kase gets all touchy feely, and they both talk about how they've been conducting their own little investigations. Then suddenly there's some guy who cracks something over...someone's head. I think it's Ken's because he falls to his knees and eats asphalt, and Creeper Guy drags Kase away and lights the place on fire. The flashback is over. My neck hurts.
We now have a shot of the moon--wow, look at how time flies!--and Kase can't believe he's with Ken again. ...Should I be getting slash vibes from this? "Jayden, this is Weiss Kreuz. You get slash vibes from everyone." Not true, I only get slash subtext for Aya/Yohji and Crawford/Schuldig, nyah. Ken looks a little forlorn, probably because he was subjected to three flashbacks about depressing things, like how he almost got torched alive. Kase explains that after that, he went to work for Asia Construction, which is how he met Koga, and I'm not talking about the gym leader either. That would have been awesome. No, we're talking about Koga, the evil guy who is BFFs with Takatori. Kase explains further that Mr. Koga has taken good care of him, and Ken stops walking.
"You should stay away from Koga."
Ken. Ken, don't do this. You did this in Holy Children, telling that sister that she was basically a target of Weiss without directly saying so, and she was all OH YOU WORK FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WERE SENT TO KILL ME and you killed her right in front of a kid, a kid with telekinetic powers no less who could have easily dropped the church right on your head, especially since you promised to protect the sister. Said kid will now fuck your shit up since he works for the other team now. In a team that functions better than Weiss does.
DON'T DO THIS. THINK OF HOW YOU TRAUMATISED POOR NAGI who was pretty much already traumatised since he accidentally killed some people, was bullied, left out on the cold streets and finally taken in by a nice sister who ran an orphanage ONLY TO HAVE THAT ALL FALL TO PIECES BECAUSE YOU WERE ALL RUN, SISTER, RUN BECAUSE I HAVE TO KILL YOU and then Nagi was taken in by some guy he was fucking afraid to shit of and wow how things have changed.
"You should know what Koga's really up to since you're his assistant. HE'S DOING EVIL."
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, says Kase. KOGA IS AWESOME. HE HAS FUCKING POISON POKEMON, BITCH. AND INVISIBLE WALLS. HE'S AWESOME. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THESE THINGS.
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE, screams Ken and kind of sounds like Domon Kasshu in the process.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT, TELL ME DAMMIT
I CAN'T TELL YOU, I'M A FUCKING SECRET ASSASSIN. JUST SHUT UP AND DO WHAT I SAY. Starting with "bend over".
I mean.
WE'VE WORKED HARD SINCE WE WERE KIDS, KEN, YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING, ANYTHING AT ALL, TELL ME WHY
I CAN'T, I'M BEING CREEPED ON BY SOME GUY IN AN UGLY ORANGE SWEATER AND HE'LL KILL ME IF I TALK
SCENE CHANGE to Omi looking like someone just poked him in the butt with a hot poker to the news of Koga joining the Elite Four--I mean, going missing. And after going through all the trouble of getting his schedule and making some plans... Ken's good intentions, once again, utterly backfired. First the nun, now Koga. God, Ken. You're not supposed to let on that you or someone else might be whacking someone. What kind of black ops assassin are you? Ken hasn't heard the news, of course, so they happily tell him that Koga's disappeared, and Aya tells him that because of what he said, Kase decided Ken was saying Koga was in danger and moved him to safety.
And Ken has realised that Aya was creeping on him this whole time, and is all WHAT THE FUCK, AYA? DON'T YOU TRUST YOUR OWN TEAMMATES?
No. No he doesn't. Not when they're telling the guy who works with the enemy he might be getting whacked. HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM Holy Children?
Omi restrains Ken and says that the mission is still in progress, we're gonna keep some tabs on Kase. Yohji chimes in that they have to find Koga, otherwise everything is pointless since Kase and Koga are both the targets. Aya's saying they should go for Kase first, because Aya is a dick and likes pouring lemon juice and salt into Ken's wounds. Hey, Aya, don't you have a sister who's in a coma she'll probably never wake up from 'cause she got hit by a car and you were too busy screaming to do anything? Ooh, did I touch a nerve? Well, think about what you say to poor Ken before you spout your shit. Being pretty does not excuse you from being a douchebag. Ken, because Kase is his BFF, is all NO KASE ISN'T EVIL. HE'S JUST SEVERELY MISLED, THAT'S ALL.
Even Aya goes, "You never learn." Well obviously. Kase is a wolf in sheep's clothing, dammit, don't you see the zipper?
Why the hell hasn't someone, like Omi, since he's in charge of Weiss, removed Ken from the mission, citing it as a conflict of interest since he's too emotionally involved, and then lock him in a closet somewhere until it's over? Would that make too much sense and not cause enough drama? Probably. But it would be the more logical conclusion. But fuck logic in a world where ice sits on top of liquid and you have psychic assassins running around.
Now we're at a place with a fountain of sorts, and Ken's talking to Manx to ask if she can talk to Persia about Kase. Kase's innocent, I swear! He doesn't know what he's involved in, honest! I KNOW HIM, DAMMIT, WE'RE BFFs! TELL PERSIA HE'S WRONG.
"Ken," says Manx. "Ken. Ken, if you doubt Persia, it's over." Doubting Persia is like betraying Weiss, and you die. With that, she walks away, leaving Ken shocked as hell.
EYECATCHER and it's Ken.
Ken's riding on his motorbike, thinking over his time and we get another flashback of Kase being dragged away and the place being set on fire. Then he realises he's being followed and some guy starts shooting at him. So he stops and gets off the expressway and into some brush they start shooting at aimlessly. Ken runs the one guy over and recognises another as the guy who set fire to the warehouse before driving off into the distance.
NOW WE GET ANOTHER SCENE and it's at an arcade of sorts. Ken drags Kase over into a corner occupied by a "Space Galaxy" machine, which is probably something like a "Space Invaders" rip off, and Kase's in that ugly cream suit again and fuck, do these people not have any other colour scheme aside from cream and maybe white if we're lucky? That's only if we're lucky though. Kase wants to know what the hell is going on, because it's not every day some guy drags you to a desolate corner of an arcade.
"I was attacked by a bunch of guys last night, and one of them was from that warehouse two years ago."
"OHMAHGAWD."
"Yeah, it's the same guy as before. His name is Koga Genji. Your boss, not the gym leader."
"WUT."
"WHERE IS HE."
"UM IDK MY BFF KEN."
"YOU'RE HIS ASSISTANT. TELL ME. HE MIGHT TRY TO KILL YOU TOO."
"Well okay, let me tell you all I know whilst I play with this joystick and maybe pretend it's you."
"What?"
"I'm gonna tell you all I know!"
"Oh, okay."
Kase tells Ken that he realised that a while ago since he's been investigating and shit, and he found out that Koga was behind it all. BUT IF I SAID ANYTHING, YOU'D BE IN DANGER. Like Ken's not already in danger since he got attacked by freaking ninjas. SO YEAH THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT.
"Kase..."
I WILL MAKE HIM CONFESS, FOR GREAT JUSTICE. HE RUINED YOUR LIFE, I ALMOST KILLED YOU. HE MUST PAY.
IT'S TOO DANGEROUS. TELL ME WHERE HE IS.
Yes because it's not dangerous for you at all either, is it, Ken. You know, having a weapon does not make you invincible.
OKAY HERE'S WHERE HE IS I SCRAWLED IT IN MY PLANNER LIKE, FOREVER AGO. HERE YOU GO.
Ken reads it and is all :O HE'S AT HIS BEACH HOUSE WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT QUICK TO THE
...which is what our next scene change is to. There are girls in front and they're pissed because it's closed. It's just Momoe and her pet cat. So they're looking at some flowers and lamenting they have no money, in the hopes that Weiss will show up. Yeahno. So Ouka shows up, grabs some flowers from the shelves, and buys them as a present for Omi. Obsessed much, Ouka?
So in response to Ouka buying 9584935 things of flowers for Omi...
My thoughts exactly, Momoe-san.
Weiss are in the Koneko, they are just in the basement, where their secret lair is. Aya and Yohji are just lazing around while Omi's on his computer chatting over his headset to Ken, who tells him he found out where Koga is. And then Ken is all KASE IS NOT EVIL, HE WAS JUST GETTING CLOSE TO KOGA SO HE COULD UNFRAME ME. YEAH. THAT SOUNDS CONVINCING, I KNOW.
Omi's all, WAIT WHAT THE HELL DID THAT HAVE TO DO WITH MY QUESTION? I ASKED WHERE KOGA IS. KEN. DON'T HANG UP ON ME. FUCK YOU FOR HANGING UP ON ME.
Meanwhile Aya is all >|:o and Yohji is very :| and Omi is all o.o like he can't believe Ken would ever hang up on him, that bastard. He's sleeping on the couch tonight.
Ken, meanwhile, is riding off into the distance towards Koga's
Koga's beach house actually isn't that bad looking, but why do I have a feeling I've seen something similar to this before...? Ken sneaks around like a ninja in his mission gear, ready to shove his bugnuks where it hurts.
WELL IT'S KIND OF QUIET.
Shut up, Ken, you're ruining it.
Koga's office has windows instead of walls, which would give me vertigo if I were in his position, and how much you wanna bet someone's gonna get shoved through said windows? Ken charges him and finds Koga dead in his chair. Well. Someone beat him to the punch, but who? And why is there white stuff coming from his nose and mouth?
Eww.
Ken does not comment on that, just remarks that Koga is dead.
"What a fool you are, Ken."
THAT VOICE. SURELY IT CAN'T BE...
K-Kase?!
Raise your hand, how many of you saw this coming since Kase was introduced?
"Well, I told you I'd kill him..."
We find out that Koga started the soccer gambling ring, and that it was Kase who put the drugs in the bottle and had Ken drink them. And then he pretended to get attacked by those men in the warehouse to get rid of him. I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO WORK, AND SO WELL AT THAT MUWAHAHAHAHAHA.
Ken is visibly shaken.
HERE I GO, KASE. ALL MY LOVE, ALL MY HATE, AND ALL MY SORROW! SHINING FINGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
WAIT KEN, YOU CAN'T KILL ME BEFORE I TELL YOU THE REASON WHY I DID IT ALL.
OH. OKAY. SORRY.
Kase wasn't a very good soccer player; Ken was. And now he's a crime boss. He doesn't need soccer! Soccer can go fuck itself! And so can Ken. So Kase shoots through the window and gets Ken in the shoulder. And then tells Ken to go to hell before firing more. His gun makes pew pew pew sounds and looks ugly, so it's not anything I recognise. Figures he can't even get an awesome gun.
We then get a negative coloured view of Ken being shot all dramatically, and Kase wrongly assumes Ken is dead.
THIS BUILDING IS MINE, says Kase, and in case you didn't know, the scene has changed. But wait! What's that? Some shadowy figure and OH SHIT IT'S KEN. That scream and trail of urine both belong to Kase. Kase's bodyguards run away. Some bodyguards they are. Schwarz would never run away. They would just very easily kill you.
HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD.
HELL SUCKS.
OH, OKAY. I'M SORRY, KEN. CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS? I WAS SO JEALOUS OF YOU I LOST MY MIND. FORGIVE ME?
One bodyguard up in the tree tries to shoot Ken, but is stopped by a dart. Another takes aim behind something and gets sliced by a katana instead. Two more get garroted to death.
SPARE ME, KEN. SPARE ME.
Ken walks towards Kase, and Kase pulls a gun and shoots Ken again. This betrayal hurts. So Ken kills him, mission accomplished.
"How can you not die?"
Ken shows a bulletproof vest.
"Of course."
Before dying, he tells Ken he'll see him in Hell. Well. That's nice.
"This place is hell too."
Oh stop being so dramatic, Ken.
I will be upfront about this: this is not my favourite episode. Aside from getting enough flashbacks every five seconds to give me whiplash, it's all expositional crap, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's the way it's set up. It's set up for these flashbacks. And while now we know that Ken was betrayed, well, Ken's the most normal out of Weiss--for now. It doesn't look like this affected him any. I don't know. It bothers me. Also, without Ken, Kase is just there. Before we find out he and Ken have a connection, Kase is just another bad guy they're going to kill.
SIGH.
What's next episode about?
Schicksal, aka "that Freude episode", featuring Yuriko. Don't get too attached--like all girls involved with Weiss, she's only here for one episode before leaving it. Can't say I blame her. That's episode five.
How many more episodes until Schwarz?
They appear in episode eight, so three more to go.
Are you really going to do all twenty-five episodes?
Yes. I've been tempted to just do the Schwarz ones but meh. That's no fun. You want an honest impression of this series from me, I gotta go all the way.
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