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omaewokorosuPrevious episodes
Apparently tinypic decided to delete some of my screens, so if anything in previous entries is broken, let me know and I'll reupload them on Photobucket.
Anyway! On to the review thing.
Blah blah blah opening HAI SCHWARZ more Aya yadda yadda OKAY ONWARDS
Previously on Weiss Kreuz Kapitel...
AND NOW ON TO THE ACTUAL EPISODE.
"Schreient" (actually spelled with a 'd' at the end) can mean many things depending on context. It can mean "screaming" if used as a verb (from the noun "schrei", to cry or scream). It can also mean "loud" and "gaudy". In Schreient's case, I like the "gaudy" definition because of how Farfarello describes them. Take it as you will, however.
So we continue on with Schreient and Weiss looking at each other rather intimidatingly. Well with the exception of Neu because we can't see her face and Tot, who looks like she's about to go play with her dolls or something.
Now I am picturing Weiss Kreuz Ken dolls. Goddammit.I would buy the Crawford and Schuldig ones and put them in compromising poses.
Someone needs to patent this and manufacture them because they will make MILLIONS.
"Oh geez," says Yohji. "I don't have any weapons to fight women." What a gentleman. Aya takes a minute to look crosseyed or maybe there's something on his nose. I mean it's possible he got some blood on it or something and it's distracting him. To be honest, I can't tell whether Omi is eying Yohji or he's staring in Schreient's direction. Or he could be staring at Aya for all I know.
Yohji's the only one who stares at Aya.
"Would you like some other opponents, then?" asks Hell. They must be hiding in the walls or something so they can pop through like something out of Resident Evil. ...You don't have people who became gigantic arachnids, do you? Because fjdkfds do not want kthnx. She snaps her fingers and suddenly we have a monster parade and good sweet Jesus they got beaten by the ugly stick! Ugh. They try to jump Weiss, but Weiss are too fast to be squished so easily.
"Stop in the name of love!" says Ken, except not really, he just tells them to stop since they're here to rescue them, but I like my quote better.
(Why has no one made an abridged series for this yet?)
IT'S NO USE, OUR LOVE WILL NOT SAVE THEM.
"Don't just run away, you're going to get killed!" Oh. Well. Are you referring to the...things or are you going to kill them yourself, Hell? So Weiss run into what I can only describe as a room with lots of palm tree like trees and I guess it's a garden or a greenhouse or some shit and it reminds me of that scene in Sukisho. Yeah. Omi gets knocked down by this thing that reminds me of a disguise from Scooby Doo, that zombie island movie with the Hex Sisters or some shit. You know. Ken shouts Omi's name in a fit of dramatics and I guess he's gonna Shining Finger the zombie guy now or something. That's what Ken does, right? Shining Finger?
NO THESE PEOPLE ARE VICTIMS VICTIMS I TELL YOU, says Omi, even though he's about to get eaten or torn limb from limb or whatever it is that these things do. They probably just want to be put out of their misery. BUT IF WE STAND HERE AND DO NOTHING, WE WILL DIE, says I think Yohji, as he wrestles with a monster. Ken just stares open mouthed at another one and is rescued by Aya so he can show off how much of a badass he is. It's in his contract. Aya slices and dices and everyone is all OMG WHAT THE HELL, AYA? because now the thing is dead.
"We've been carrying this cross on our backs since we joined Weiss," says Aya, and wow, that's the first mention of crosses outside of the "kreuz" part of the anime's title. He then stabs a monster in the gut with his glowing sword. No, really. And Yohji is behind the monster getting impaled by Aya's glowing sword.
Go on, make all the sword metaphors you want. The picture does that on its own, really. JUST DON'T PENETRATE YOHJI.Wait until Schuldig shows up.
Yes I do like Aya/Yohji/Schuldig shut up okay
Yohji garottes another and strangles it and oh, Yohji, your watch is yellow for once! We'll see how long that lasts, though. Dude goes POOF, meaning he's been vanquished in the name of...the moon I guess.
"We'll see you in hell," says Yohji, and I almost capitalised "hell" because, you know. This is what Weiss Kreuz does to me. Omi kills one with a crossbow bolt and Ken...finishes everything. Yay. SUDDENLY
WHIP IT
WHIP IT GOOD
admit it you all thought of devo don't lie
Schoen tries to whip Ken good, but he catches it and why, Ken, would you catch a whip bare handed? That will still hurt like hell even with leather gloves on, you know. Tot tries to impale Omi with her umbrella, and Omi looks a little confused. Protip: do not fuck with someone who wields an umbrella. See also: Princess Peach.
Oh and yes there are "counterparts". Hell fights Aya, Schoen fights Ken, Neu gets Yohji, and Tot gets Omi. Weiss's Schwarz counterparts are also the respective counterparts of Schreient with the exception of Schuldig, who is Yohji's and Schoen's (so Farfarello is Ken's).
I actually want to see Yohji/Schuldig/Schoen mind-fuck fic now. dammit!
so yeah more fighting, blah blah blah I know Schwarz is in this episode where are yoooooou we should see Nagi first before anyone else.
"They know how to fight," thinks Aya. Well no fucking shit. Did you just realise that?
So Schoen lunges for Ken, who dodges all of her whip strikes. "How boring, try to fight back a little!" I guess she likes fighters.
FUCK THIS SHIT, goes Ken, who grabs her whip and pulls her to the ground. And then, for a little extra FUCK YOU, he cuts her face, and she cries because OMG HOW DARE YOU BITCH
She's the vain one, in case you didn't notice. Let me guess, Ken's gonna pay for what he did to your face. Well. At least you don't get beaten with a golf club. Beaten in the face with one. One little cut is nothing.
"A taciturn woman isn't very attractive!" says Yohji, who looks really om nom in this picture.
More fighting. There's a lot of fighting. THEN SUDDENLY, A HELICOPTER APPEARS. Is it gonna drop a rocket launcher? I don't know--this is Weiss Kreuz, not Resident Evil. Usually helicopters in Weiss Kreuz signify evil is afoot, because that is Takatori's prime method of transport. Apparently this was planned because Hell goes WHAT GREAT TIMING THIS WAS WOO DEUS EX MACHINA and then the helicopter lands. Who's in it? I don't know. People. Masafumi's heading for it so I am assuming...
wait. Does Takatori have like, his own private helicopter or something? I mean really. idk who's piloting it since Takatori basically said Masafumi could go fuck himself, so I doubt it's Schwarz. Hell fires what looks like a gun but is either a flaregun or a grappling gun of sorts and Schreient make their escape.
WAIT, Yohji screams, and uses his garotte to break part of Neu's helmet, revealing part of her face. Yohji is all :O and then the helicopter makes its escape before Schreient can get to it, but that's okay because they can leap like, twenty feet in the air and hang on with no problems.
THEN THERE IS A WATERFALL and man this makes me have to pee. The helicopter is approaching a mansion like place, probably Masafumi's lair or whatever he wants to call it. I'm going to assume Schreient climbed into the helicopter since they're not hanging on still and it'd suck if they fell to their doom or something. The doors to the mansion open, and there is Masafumi flanked by his girls, of course. He's got some chandeliers and high ceilings and probably freaky shit in his basement. Schoen's clutching her face and is all miffed because MY FACE, DAMMIT and Tot doesn't want her to run off before she can put a bandaid on it for her.
"Shouldn't you have someone standing guard?"
"LET NEU DEAL WITH IT."
Hell looks at Neu like she doesn't trust her and then walks away.
The next scene reminds me of something out of Umbrella Inc. Who knows, Masafumi could be in cahoots with them too. There's your standard Mad Scientist Lab Equipment, with some boiling beakers and weird shit in jars and stuff. There is what looks like a brain in a container, which is, you know, creepy. Then right next to another brain in a jar is a picture of Masafumi's mother. No, really. What a strange place to have a picture of your mum, Masafumi. On the other side of that jar is a family portrait consisting of his mother, his father, his brother Hirofumi, his other brother Mamoru, and his uncle Shuichi.
Now I know what you're going to say. Mamoru and Shuichi must be evil fuckers because, well, look at the rest of the family. Takatori's got bodyguards whacking people in rather subtle ways and he's involved with an organisation headed by three really old as fuck people who want to bring about the apocalypse; Masafumi kills people so he can do some freaky shit and experiment on people and...whatever else; Hirofumi is the most normal out of them all and we'll meet him next episode. He's still evil though.
What about Mamoru and Shuichi? Well, Mamoru was the lucky one and he just got kidnapped and never seen again. And Shuichi is actually a decent guy sort of. It's complicated. Very complicated. Shuichi is involved with the police though, and Mamoru is...wandering around with amnesia. Poor kid. He's better off that way.
Back to Masafumi and his weird experiments that no one at Rosenkreuz would bat an eyelash at, he asks Hell for the Freude data. The subs say "Freud", which I believe is a typo, or a Freudian slip. Or both. Hell is suddenly in a yellow dress that is way too short and a lilac crop jacket and glasses. Why is everything lilac? Was that like, everyone's favourite colour on the design team or something? Was it a cheap colour? I want answers to this! Also, whatever Masafumi is pouring into that beaker looks like lemonade. Mmm, lemonade.
"Masafumi, you should get some rest," advises Hell.
"The devil has come to kill me!" he cries.
o.O I don't see Crawford anywhere--oh, you weren't referring to him, you're just blathering on after falling off the deep end. Okay.
"The day is near!"
maybe you should rest, I think you're becoming disillusioned.
LOOK AT ALL THESE CORE LIFEFORMS THERE'S MILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF THEM IN THIS TINY TEST TUBE :D :D :D THEY'RE BIOLOGICALLY ENGINEERED SELF PROPAGATING CELLS, AND YES I AM MAKING UP MY OWN SCIENCE BULLSHIT SO I CAN SOUND SMRT.
in short Masafumi babbles about stuff I don't understand and don't care about because whatever. This thing helps find cellular weaknesses and crap. Basically if he completes this experiment he will have found the Philosopher's Stone, and no, there are no boy wizards or blond braided boys involved.
Basically what this crap does is it helps find weakness in your DNA. Your DNA degenerates, tears, and breaks down over time, and these inperfections in your DNA cause you to age. So by targeting and fixing the weaknesses, your DNA is indestructible, meaning you don't age, and therefore become immortal. That's the theory, anyway. That's what all his scientific bullshit amounts to, actual legit science theory.
REMEMBER THIS, BECAUSE IT'S MENTIONED AGAIN LATER BY SOMEONE HOTTER THAN MASAFUMI, and better taste in suits too.
There's one thing wrong with Masafumi's experiment. The fail-safe mechanism is, uh, FUBAR'd. Because he just can't get it right, dammit. He beckons Hell to him and she wraps her arms around him and he's all I AM AWESOME. Seriously.
I AM AWESOME.
I bet when Crawford wants to feel awesome, he has Schuldig come over and wrap his arms around him just like in this picture. And, of course, that Evil Reflective Glare on his lenses. And a smirk. Yes.
and knowing them, Crawford and Schuldig look a hundred times better doing this pose.
SO ENOUGH OF THAT, BACK TO WEISS. They're licking each other's wounds in their basement. Well, Omi is licking Ken's, because Ken was stupid enough to stop a whip with his bare arm not once but twice. Omi pretty much even says as much. They talk about the mission, going WELL THAT WAS FUN BUT I WOULDN'T DO IT TOO OFTEN, and Aya interrupts, saying that the mission isn't over yet. After all, they didn't get their target, and their target is Takatori Masafumi, so. Yeah. Unfinished business.
"What do you mean?" asks Omi. wtf I just explained why the mission's not over yet! "We destroyed the labs!" Well yes and that's all well and good but your princess is in another castle, Omi, and this princess is guarded by four hot women who will slice you to ribbons if you're not careful. Aya says that, pretty much, except in a more blunt, less wordy manner, as is his way of doing things.
"But..."
YOU DON'T GET PAID UNTIL YOU COMPLETE A MISSION DUH
I HAVE TO GET THEM BACK FOR THIS, vows Ken. Wow, lots of people have to get back at people who have injured them. Ken says, "Besides, I have to get them back for this," Schoen says Ken is going to be mincemeat, and Schuldig says that "Mister still owes me for this," after the fiasco that takes up three episodes and he pays for it in the third one. SO MUCH REVENGE.
"I have no intention of calling it quits either," says Yohji, who is sitting on the stairs. So far Omi's the only one who didn't know the mission wasn't over.
WELL I GUESS IF YOU GUYS ARE GOING, I'LL TAG ALONG TOO.
OKAY THEN FINISH PATCHING KEN UP AND THEN FIND US THE HELICOPTER, OMITTCHI.
yeah.
BUT WHY ME? WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME? WHY DON'T YOU GUYS DO SOME GOOGLING FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE?
"I'm going to sleep!" says Yohji. "I can't let the girls see me all worn out like this."
BUT I AM ABOUT TO PASS OUT MYSELF! DON'T YOU THINK I GET TIRED? That's what energy drinks and coffee and Mountain Dew are for, Omi.
Yohji just yawns and exits stage left, Omi clearly not done with the matter. Aya follows Yohji and who knows, they might end up having a romp or two, I mean the way they've been looking at each other the past eight episodes has not gone unnoticed.
"I don't want to look all worn out either," says Ken, who has the last word. LOL.
THE NEXT DAY, ROSE SPARKLES and some girl who wonders what this is all about. I'm assuming she's not talking about the radioactive roses, but instead about Weiss's absence. FEAR NOT, Momoe-san is here sweeping out front and HAI SAKURA.
WHAT FLOWERS DO YOU WANT?
I'M NOT HERE FOR FLOWERS, I'M HERE FOR AYA. I MADE HIM A BENTO.
whoa. A bento? My girlfriend used to make me bento. That's...that's what girlfriends do for their boyfriends. Or, probably, in Aya's case, I'm sure his sister made him a bento every day because Aya lacked a girlfriend to spoil him fff. Sakura hasn't known Aya for all that long, just three episodes, which would probably be like, a couple of months maybe. fff. I bet Yohji's gonna be jealous.
"Where is everyone?"
"If it's a gift, I recommend these."
God bless you, Momoe-san.
THEN WE GET A SHOT OF SOME GIRL SLEEPING AND SOME GUY...rubbing her nose? Rubbing her face? Petting her in some strange way that looks strange from this angle? Oh. Oh. It's Aya. What are you doing?
Oh and the weather's warm because he's wearing short sleeves. A purple tee that brings out his eyes and blue jeans. No, really, it brings out his eyes. Shut up, I know these things, I have the subscription to Cosmo and Project Runway on my DVR to prove it. Now Ken's exercising so he can punch Schoen in the face a little harder next time they meet.
Oh, and Ken? I like what I see. You should be shirtless more.
Actually, you know who should be shirtless? Schuldig. Yes. Throw Crawford in there too. Someone get them shirtless! Although Schuldig's shirtless on the back of Schwarz Ein, but it's not the same. I want more. Yes.
Oh and Ken, for one frame, your eyes are magically green. Like, obvious green. Like, Schuldig's jacket green. Before going back to blue. This is a normal occurrence for poor Kenken, though, whose eyes have been blue, green, and brown, sometimes in the same scene. Kind of like how Schuldig's eyes tend to be different shades of blue, but nonetheless captivating and piercing and OKAY YES I WILL SHUT UP ABOUT SCHULDIG NOW.
"I swear I'll get them for this," Ken vows.
Meanwhile Omi is googling helicopters in the hopes he stumbles on Masafumi's hideout.
"The self-defence force and air force both lost track of the helicopter." Well fuck. Surely there's another way to trace helicopters. We get a profile sheet of Masafumi, and if I'm not mistaken it says he's twenty-eight. Which means he's one year older than Hell and Crawford. Which according to fandom would mean he's over the hill and through the woods, which means that Takatori is past Grandma's house by like several thousand miles. Maybe one day when I'm bored I will make an ages chart.
(And for the record, pushing thirty is not "old". Not when fifty is the new thirty, and thirty is the new twenty.)
Omi remarks that he's seen his mug before, but he can't place where exactly. But who cares about that, it's time to check up on Yohji, who is at a cafe overlooking some mountains and ocean, and he's all by his lonesome. Well, until he starts hallucinating a hot woman who's yelling at him, saying, "You don't want to be a lowly P.I. forever, do you?"
yes, Yohji used to be a private investigator, and he was a damn good one, too, which is why he notices a lot of shit others do not, such as being able to tell who women are by their ankles. Fandom tends to forget this.
Anyway, the woman in the linked picture is Murase Asuka, Yohji's partner from his P.I. days. You know, the one we saw in flashbacks in episode three. Don't forget her, she even shows up in Gluhen. Anyway, she tells him to set his sights on something above a cup of coffee at this shitty kissaten, the one he's sitting in right this minute and hallucinating in, and um, why is that coffee reddish? Is there blood in that coffee? I know my coffee looks tan because I take cream and sugar in mine, but even when I drink it black, it never looked reddish. No wonder the coffee sucks at that place.
"What about your date's?" the waitress in a modest version of a French maid outfit asks.
"Just leave it. She's not coming anyway." Aww. Yohji, you make me want to squish you. Or have Aya creep on you, see you're sad, and drink coffee with you. But that won't happen with Kapitel!Aya. And you don't look like his sister, so he'll pretend to not give a flying fuck.
oh and Yohji is wearing a cream blazer.
WAS CREAM A CHEAP COLOUR TOO? ALONG WITH LILAC? IS GREEN ONE TOO? WHAT ABOUT BROWN? BASICALLY, ALL THE COLOURS CRAWFORD WEARS, WERE THEY CHEAP? Seriously. What is with the cream? Yohji's blazer is the colour of my fucking coffee. And as I said before, I take it with cream and sugar so it's nice and velvety smooth and has a pleasant aftertaste and shush, it's Dunkin Donuts coffee, okay? We don't have Starbucks up here and it's not like I pay for my coffee anyway--I have awesome coworkers.
um anyway. (If Aya were my coworker, he'd be the one I'd want to punch in the face but wouldn't because he still manages to do his job.)
AND NOW WE CREEP ON NEU, who is examining her broken mask-helmet-thing she stole from the set of Gatchaman. Hell knocks on the door and oh, that yellow thing is actually a shirt. She's wearing--you guessed it--cream slacks. CREAM IS A CHEAP COLOUR. I am convinced. It is the exact shade of cream as Crawford's suit. If she were wearing a green shirt instead of yellow, buttoned up that lilac crop jacket, and had a matching cream blazer on, I'd think they were trying really hard to play up the whole 'counterparts' angle.
Now I just pictured what I described and eww, that jacket does not work as a vest substitute because the frills.
Neu looks at her just sort of blankly, and Hell tells her it's her turn to stand guard to make sureCrawford the devil doesn't break in or whatever Masafumi was babbling about before. Neu puts on her Gatchaman helmet and goes off to do her duty. Cut to Schoen removing the bandaid and then freaking out over the scar left over. By the way, to showcase how narcissistic Schoen is, she has pictures and posters of herself on her walls. Anyway, she freaks out to the point where she throws what appears to be a stool at her mirror. Breaking a mirror gives you seven years of bad luck, a horrible sex life, and no love life to speak of, dontcha know? Not to mention that cocoa butter lotion reduces the appearance of scars... Just slather that stuff on every day and over a period of a month it'll be barely visible. Trust me. That's what people use for stretch marks after pregnancy.
"I will not let them get away with this!" Schoen screams in outrage.
Let me just put it this way: no one will ever get away with anything.
There. All our bases covered.
Also watch out for the flying glass from your mirror.
MASAFUMI, meanwhile, IS DOING SCIENCY THINGS. Hell brings him food and he's all LEAVE IT BY THE DOOR. Yeah fuck eating, it's for plebes.
"This reminds me of the old days," Hell says. WE WASTED SO MANY YEARS, SEVEN YEARS OF THOSE STUPID PROFESSORS WHO KNOW NOTHING BECAUSE YOU ARE AWESOME. God, Hell, you make it sound like seven years made you old or something. You're only twenty-seven. She's got her arms around him again and why do I have the feeling they've probably fucked in that spot many times in the past?
He shrugs her off and continues tinkering, saying, "The world that I've dreamt of is almost complete."
Does it involve demons from the pits of Hell being resurrected and the apocalypse? Because if so, there's an organisation trying to do that already. They're called SS, although the subs use SZ and fandom uses something else entirely, but anyway, I won't talk much about them until I need to.
"Take me with you to this world of yours."
Hell, I don't think Masafumi really gives two shits about you. He'd leave you behind and crawl through hell all by himself. Your team isn't even really functional. I think Weiss might be more familial, and they're dysfunctional as all fuck, but at least they watch out for each other, even Aya, stuck up prick as he can be sometimes. There's only one team who would, uh, actually go through hell together. Especially two of them on that team. If the one I'm thinking of said to his leader, "Take me with you to this world of yours," he would say, "Yes." They wouldn't exactly hold hands or anything, but yeah.
This is why love is for fools. fff.
AND NOW WE HAVE SOME CHERRY BLOSSOM TREES and holy shit this episode is almost half over and I feel like I've been going on for hours already. Anyway. Cherry blossom trees. Meaning this is... Probably between late April to early June. Didn't someone do a timeline trying to pinpoint the seasons and stuff during the course of Kapitel? Anyway, we have Tot admiring all the falling sakura petals when a sudden gust of wind that came out of nowhere and may or may not have been telekinetically induced causes her to lose grip on her umbrella and sends it spiraling away.
"Oh no, Tot's umbrella!" She even looks saddened by it, like she just lost a friend. Seeing as it's her only weapon, I'd probably be sad too. Also yes, in case you haven't noticed, Tot talks like a little kid, meaning she talks in the third person. Which makes sense because she's a five year old in a fifteen year old's body and there is a reason for that and Koyasu tells us that in All That Weiss. Since it's triggering, I won't mention it, but Schreient's pasts have been translated and posted and are relatively easy to find if you troll the Weiss Kreuz comms, so.
She runs after her umbrella and it ends up getting caught by none other than... Nagi. Who I told you about before, briefly. Nagi is a telekinetic, a rather powerful one who doesn't have a complete grip on his powers yet because, well, he's fifteen. What more do you expect? Throes of puberty, etc. etc. He is, for all intents and purposes, Crawford's protege, and he's got issues because who the hell in this series doesn't, least of all in Schwarz? Nagi's past is explained in Holy Children and also on the Wikipedia page so I don't feel bad about saying anything, but he (probably accidentally) killed his mother, so he ended up out on the streets, was bullied because, you know, being a telekinetic gets you weird looks, and he ended up at an orphanage. The same orphanage Ken visited for therapy because he had issues. Ken actually meets Nagi in Holy Children.
That's also the drama CD that makes me lol because poor Nagi is scared shitless of Crawford.
So now that I've properly acquainted you with Nagi... Onward!
Tot takes her umbrella back, smiles nicely at him, and asks, "Who are you?" Which I feel is a perfectly good question to ask a stranger who just happens to be in your backyard.
"Nagi. Naoe Nagi." The subs here are stupid and say "Naoya" and iirc the dub says something completely off base because it is the dub and therefore doesn't know what it's doing anyway.
[EDIT] Apparently "Naoya" is how the dub says it. Well. That's not even spelled like "Naoe" in Japanese! I ranted about that here already, though.
So Tot is all fine and dandy... And then she turns her umbrella into a weapon and says, "I remember! You came with Papa's father!" That is, he's one of them. Poor Nagi. You can't go around talking shit about Schwarz like that, seeing as they're the only family he can remember and Crawford's like a dad to him. She tells him that if he hurts "papa" (Masafumi), she won't forgive him. Which is similar to what Nagi said to Ken in Holy Children: "Promise me you'll protect Sister, Ken. I won't ever forgive you if you hurt her."
I took that just because I thought it looked pretty, and look, it's Nagi :D
"Do I look like a bad guy?" he asks. fjdkfjdskfd maybe it's a good thing I posted that picture because, well, no. No, you don't. You're the kid I'd want to squish in a hug.Before he flattened me like a pancake with his telekinesis, of course. The people you're with, on the other hand...
shut up it's pretty okay
Tot lowers her umbrella and says, "No." I don't know if Nagi feels good or bad about that, really, fff.
"I came to see you," says Nagi, "because you are very different." Aww, his face lights up when he talks about her jfdkfjds :3
Tot looks at him astonished. "Huh?"
"Aren't you lonely?"
"No, I have Papa, Hell, Schoen, and Neu..." She then goes on to say that Masafumi isn't her real father. Her real father is asick bastard bad man. A really bad man. And she hates him.
So Nagi decides to show off a little bit and uses his telekinesis to throw sakura petals all over in a shower of sorts.
sorry I love these two, okay?
But all too soon Tot is called away for dinner, and Nagi is by himself again. Poor Nagi :(
WELL HE'S NOT BY HIMSELF AT ALL.
"Have you fallen for her?"
Sorry, I just had to recover from heart palpitations. I'm okay. Guess Schuldig had to take Farfarello out for his walk and decided to check up on Nagi or something.
If I were Nagi I'd've been I DUNNO, HAVE YOU FALLEN FOR CRAWFORD? but then I probably would have a gun pointed in my face, or been slapped or pistol whipped or mind-fucked or something. Oh, and for a second, I thought Schuldig and Farfarello were arm-in-arm. That would have been disturbing, to say the least.
I wasn't quick enough to get it from episode nine, which is okay because it was in the preview from last episode. :D
shut up I told you all in the beginning I was a Schwarz fangirl and I have it bad for Schuldig.
Nagi's also a favourite of mine.
SO UH YEAH to recap, Schuldig asked Nagi if he's fallen for Tot, and Nagi just denies it, saying, "What are you talking about?" fff. Typical teenager with that look of "go away, it's not any of your business".
"You might have to kill her," chimes in Farfarello.
"If the order comes," retorts Nagi.
AND NOW TO A BUILDING.
GET RID OF ALL THE EVIDENCE, MAKE SURE THERE IS NO TRACE OF THIS SHIT, screams Takatori into the phone, which he promptly slams down onto the receiver. FUCK YOU, MASAFUMI, I'LL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP FOR THIS SHIT THAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH. CRAWFORD.
ohai, Crawford.
Crawford is in a subservient bow and I'm pretty sure he's thinking of all the ways in which Takatori could die, but fff no one needs to know that.
"Sir, if I may... Don't you think it's only a matter of time before things resolve themselves?"
"And you can see these things... The future?"
Because that pause after "if I may" was probably Crawford seeing, also, the many ways in which Masafumi will die that don't involve him or his teammates, fff.
EYECATCHER. I am almost 5300 words into this review and we're halfway through the episode.
It's a Yohji eyecatcher! :D
ROSES.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"What are you talking about?"
yeah, what the fuck is going on here? Since I have the volume turned off, I don't even know who's speaking, but since I saw roses before, I suspect it's Aya.
"You knew that Masafumi was a Takatori."
oh shit I think I was right.
"Kritiker must've missed it." This must be Manx then.
Oh, well, whaddya know, it is Aya.
"But we were able to find this out THROUGH THE POWER OF GOOGLE."
Manx says nothing. She's probably heard all this shit before, or she read the script before hand.
"I joined Weiss to get revenge and--" blah blah blah we all know Aya's song and dance routine. Death to Takatori, comatose sister, dead parents, ruined life, bloodstained hands, yadda yadda fucking yadda. Aya. We get it. You hate the world. You can shove your katana up Masafumi's arse and kill him and then that's one less Takatori in the world. One step closer to your goal. Stop fucking fighting Manx and Persia and Kritiker.
BRIDGES.
"A hunting dog must be allowed to hunt, otherwise he will bite his master."
oh look a fucking cream coloured car.
I am starting to hate the colour cream.
Oh and Persia's metaphor was apt considering next episode involves hunting. Lol. Bet he didn't know that.
CLIFFS. WATERFALL. FISHERMAN.
Fisherman with an old school cellphone. Wow.
"Stalking somebody this far into the mountains?"
More like he's stalking the fish, but yeah.
Oh look, it's Hell.
"Who were you talking to?" asks Tot, who pops out from behind a tree.
"You may end up dead before you get to answer that," says Schoen.
Apparently the fisherman guy wasn't discreet enough in his guise as an undercover Kritiker agent. Sucks for him.
Neu appears behind him ready to hack his head off with her bare hands when Masafumi puts a stop to this tomfoolery. He's holding a tube of stuff the same shade of blue as Tot's hair, and says that, with Krankenhaus out of business, there are no test subjects.
So yeah, this guy gets to drink some icky crap. Yay for him. Neu holds him still.
"And with Katoh gone--" Katoh was David Carrindine in episode seven. "--we no longer have anyone to kidnap children."
yeah Masafumi isn't wound too tight.
"Any old rat can become our lab rat."
The Kritiker guy mutates and Tot screams about how she hates monsters and wants it to go away. So they kill it because the fail-safe failed. Kill it with a RPG.
I hope he doesn't wonder why his father hates him.
MEANWHILE, WITH PERSIA AND MANX.
They found the Kritiker agent. Persia's in a cream suit like everyone else in this show, and Manx basically gives him a viewer discretion is advised notice for what he is about to see may be disturbing to some people. She pulls back the sheet and Persia acts like he might have shat his pants a little.
"Is this a human being?" Well, no, he looks like a spider ate a gorilla ate a tentacle monster ate a frog. Persia goes to touch him and tentacles sprout forth, and Manx warns him about touching strange things. His fist is shaking, he is so enraged.
"Death is the only thing that will stop them." Death is the only thing that will stop anything, really, but okay.
AND NOW WE'RE GONNA CREEP ON OMI, see what he's up to. Might as well. Probably still googling stuff for the mission, like Masafumi's home address or something. ...Turns out he's actually asleep on the keyboard, LOL. The monitor flashes and some stuff is either lifted or put onto the computer, I can't really tell which. The voice over has Tot asking Masafumi if the experiment is done. He says it is. Schoen, in all her vainess, asks if her beauty will last forever with this. He says yes.
"Our dreams are finally going to come true," says Hell. Yeah, um, your stuff resembles T-Virus to me.
EXPLOSIONS. FIRE.
"Is it the devil? Is it the devil from the other day?" Masafumi asks as Hell holds him close on the floor.
I don't think so, considering the devil wears cream suits that may or may not be Armani and he usually has his favourite demon by his side. The guy we have here is named Hidaka Ken. The Shining Finger guy. Schoen spots him and rips her clothes off...
...to reveal her mission outfit, which she somehow hid underneath all those revealing clothes. Um. Okay. She magically has her weapon, too! I wish I had Hammerspace IRL. Think of how convenient it'd be!
"I'm going to make you pay for this scar today!" Schoen says.
"What's your name?" Tot asks Omi.
"Weiss," he answers.
"What a cute name! Bye-bye, Weiss!" Tot transforms. It really does not help that she wears odango like Usagi, does it? It also probably doesn't help that Usagi's seiyuu does the voice for Neu, either.
"So we're finally alone," says Yohji, as he stands on the window sill. Neu just stares at him.
"Don't be shy and show me what's under that mask." I suspect Yohji has a hunch about the identity of Neu...
She attacks!
"I really don't want to force you, but..." He lunges for her.
"Don't worry," Hell says to Masafumi, and she's somehow changed her clothes. WHY CAN'T I DO THIS IRL. WHY. DO YOU KNOW HOW AWESOME THAT'D BE?
oh and Masafumi officially has lost all his marbles.
"Takatori Masafumi." That voice! That deep, velvety voice could only be...Koyasu Takehito--I mean, Aya.Same shit. So yeah Aya's standing in the doorway with Shion in hand.
SATAN HAS COME FOR ME!
I just told you the devil wears Armani and his favourite demon is a red head with a German lilt. Aya is indeed a red head, but he's not wearing Armani and he can't see the future, so he's not the devil goddammit. Aya can be Death instead. I feel this is an acceptable compromise.
I SEE YOU'VE BEEN TRAINING, says Schoen to Ken, as she tries to whip it like Devo.
THANKS FOR NOTICING I DID A TRAINING MONTAGE, YOU'RE NOT SO BAD YOURSELF.
I'LL STILL KILL YOU
HAHAHANO.
So Yohji and Neu are fighting and all he says is, "You're stubborn like her too."
Meanwhile Aya is trying to kill Hell and Masafumi. He is not getting too far. Masafumi runs, Aya gives chase, and Masafumi downs the T-Virus when no one's looking and Aya strikes him down. Very quickly he becomes the Tyrant. If Tyrant were part mountain gorilla, part tentacle monster.
I HAVE BECOME GOD.
um. eww.
He swipes at Aya and knocks him across the room and into a piano. He then picks Aya up and bashes him against it, serenading him with Frank Sinatra. Well that happened in the outtakes, but anyway.
"You're a devil," Masafumi says. "The devil will perish by the hand of God."
Say, if you're God, there's this guy I know who would just love tokill meet you...
"You will never be a god." Oooh, burn. ALSO, YOUR BREATH IS PUTRID PLEASE STOP BREATHING ON ME.
STFU. ONCE THE HUMANS ALL DIE, I WILL CREATE A NEW WORLD.
oh, like what SZ is doing? Yeah have fun with that.
meanwhile Hell is watching in horror at what is going on.
BACK TO YOHJI AND NEU. He's got her pinned to the floor and tells her to let him see her face.
MEANWHILE, FIRE EVERYWHERE and ohshit gas tanks--
BOOM just as Yohji sees Neu's actual face. The explosion interrupts Schoen and Ken's fight. Tot runs to find Masafumi and Omi chases after her, stopping when a singed piece of paper lands near him. Aya emerges from some debris and he's, uh, hurt. And then this happens:
I will let those two pictures speak for themselves.
So everyone's all OH NOES and meanwhile Aya's probably going OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISN'T ONE OF THOSE ANIME SHOWS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and yeah, I'm with Aya here, please tell me this didn't turn into some tentacle hentai. Omi makes to shoot at Masafumi but Tot knocks him down, saying DON'T HURT PAPA YOU ASSHOLE.
NO ONE WILL GET IN MY WAY, says Masafumi. Yohji tries to strangle him but...he gets caught by Masafumi's tentacles too. He gets all tentacle happy and starts destroying shit with them and trying to kill people with them. THERE'S NO FAIL-SAFE.
some shit almost falls on Masafumi but Schoen pushes him out of the way. Tot is cornered by fire and Ken is pissed off because Hell is shouting at them, saying it's all their fault since they, you know, cornered all of them and forced Masafumi's hand.
"Get out of the way," says Aya.
FUCK YOU, says Hell. She charges him, but then Masafumi stabs her with some tentacles and throws her around like a rag doll. Tot gets crushed by some debris, Aya screams TAKATORI, and everyone attacks him all at once.
Ken jumps onto Masafumi, Omi tells him not to and oh, boy, he gets taken in by tentacles. The tentacles want in Omi's mouth and god only knows what the hell else they want in.
"Mamoru?"
Omi shoots out a dart or something and is released. Aya then deals the final blow.
MORE FIRE.
"Not bad, these Weiss guys."
ohai.omg I want to jump him right now fjdksfds.
Crawford would probably kill me, wouldn't he?
And Nagi's off by a tree, arms crossed, and pissed off looking.
AND THAT ENDS THE EPISODE. Finally.
This entry was originally posted at http://sailorvfan10.dreamwidth.org/182986.html. Comment wherever is most convenient.
Apparently tinypic decided to delete some of my screens, so if anything in previous entries is broken, let me know and I'll reupload them on Photobucket.
Anyway! On to the review thing.
Blah blah blah opening HAI SCHWARZ more Aya yadda yadda OKAY ONWARDS
Previously on Weiss Kreuz Kapitel...
[Ken asks,] "Who are you?"
Hell answers. "Schreient."
Oooh, scary.
AND NOW ON TO THE ACTUAL EPISODE.
"Schreient" (actually spelled with a 'd' at the end) can mean many things depending on context. It can mean "screaming" if used as a verb (from the noun "schrei", to cry or scream). It can also mean "loud" and "gaudy". In Schreient's case, I like the "gaudy" definition because of how Farfarello describes them. Take it as you will, however.
So we continue on with Schreient and Weiss looking at each other rather intimidatingly. Well with the exception of Neu because we can't see her face and Tot, who looks like she's about to go play with her dolls or something.
Now I am picturing Weiss Kreuz Ken dolls. Goddammit.
Someone needs to patent this and manufacture them because they will make MILLIONS.
"Stop in the name of love!" says Ken, except not really, he just tells them to stop since they're here to rescue them, but I like my quote better.
(Why has no one made an abridged series for this yet?)
IT'S NO USE, OUR LOVE WILL NOT SAVE THEM.
"Don't just run away, you're going to get killed!" Oh. Well. Are you referring to the...things or are you going to kill them yourself, Hell? So Weiss run into what I can only describe as a room with lots of palm tree like trees and I guess it's a garden or a greenhouse or some shit and it reminds me of that scene in Sukisho. Yeah. Omi gets knocked down by this thing that reminds me of a disguise from Scooby Doo, that zombie island movie with the Hex Sisters or some shit. You know. Ken shouts Omi's name in a fit of dramatics and I guess he's gonna Shining Finger the zombie guy now or something. That's what Ken does, right? Shining Finger?
NO THESE PEOPLE ARE VICTIMS VICTIMS I TELL YOU, says Omi, even though he's about to get eaten or torn limb from limb or whatever it is that these things do. They probably just want to be put out of their misery. BUT IF WE STAND HERE AND DO NOTHING, WE WILL DIE, says I think Yohji, as he wrestles with a monster. Ken just stares open mouthed at another one and is rescued by Aya so he can show off how much of a badass he is. It's in his contract. Aya slices and dices and everyone is all OMG WHAT THE HELL, AYA? because now the thing is dead.
"We've been carrying this cross on our backs since we joined Weiss," says Aya, and wow, that's the first mention of crosses outside of the "kreuz" part of the anime's title. He then stabs a monster in the gut with his glowing sword. No, really. And Yohji is behind the monster getting impaled by Aya's glowing sword.
Go on, make all the sword metaphors you want. The picture does that on its own, really. JUST DON'T PENETRATE YOHJI.
Yes I do like Aya/Yohji/Schuldig shut up okay
"We'll see you in hell," says Yohji, and I almost capitalised "hell" because, you know. This is what Weiss Kreuz does to me. Omi kills one with a crossbow bolt and Ken...finishes everything. Yay. SUDDENLY
WHIP IT
WHIP IT GOOD
admit it you all thought of devo don't lie
Schoen tries to whip Ken good, but he catches it and why, Ken, would you catch a whip bare handed? That will still hurt like hell even with leather gloves on, you know. Tot tries to impale Omi with her umbrella, and Omi looks a little confused. Protip: do not fuck with someone who wields an umbrella. See also: Princess Peach.
Oh and yes there are "counterparts". Hell fights Aya, Schoen fights Ken, Neu gets Yohji, and Tot gets Omi. Weiss's Schwarz counterparts are also the respective counterparts of Schreient with the exception of Schuldig, who is Yohji's and Schoen's (so Farfarello is Ken's).
"They know how to fight," thinks Aya. Well no fucking shit. Did you just realise that?
So Schoen lunges for Ken, who dodges all of her whip strikes. "How boring, try to fight back a little!" I guess she likes fighters.
FUCK THIS SHIT, goes Ken, who grabs her whip and pulls her to the ground. And then, for a little extra FUCK YOU, he cuts her face, and she cries because OMG HOW DARE YOU BITCH
She's the vain one, in case you didn't notice. Let me guess, Ken's gonna pay for what he did to your face. Well. At least you don't get beaten with a golf club. Beaten in the face with one. One little cut is nothing.
"A taciturn woman isn't very attractive!" says Yohji, who looks really om nom in this picture.
More fighting. There's a lot of fighting. THEN SUDDENLY, A HELICOPTER APPEARS. Is it gonna drop a rocket launcher? I don't know--this is Weiss Kreuz, not Resident Evil. Usually helicopters in Weiss Kreuz signify evil is afoot, because that is Takatori's prime method of transport. Apparently this was planned because Hell goes WHAT GREAT TIMING THIS WAS WOO DEUS EX MACHINA and then the helicopter lands. Who's in it? I don't know. People. Masafumi's heading for it so I am assuming...
wait. Does Takatori have like, his own private helicopter or something? I mean really. idk who's piloting it since Takatori basically said Masafumi could go fuck himself, so I doubt it's Schwarz. Hell fires what looks like a gun but is either a flaregun or a grappling gun of sorts and Schreient make their escape.
WAIT, Yohji screams, and uses his garotte to break part of Neu's helmet, revealing part of her face. Yohji is all :O and then the helicopter makes its escape before Schreient can get to it, but that's okay because they can leap like, twenty feet in the air and hang on with no problems.
THEN THERE IS A WATERFALL and man this makes me have to pee. The helicopter is approaching a mansion like place, probably Masafumi's lair or whatever he wants to call it. I'm going to assume Schreient climbed into the helicopter since they're not hanging on still and it'd suck if they fell to their doom or something. The doors to the mansion open, and there is Masafumi flanked by his girls, of course. He's got some chandeliers and high ceilings and probably freaky shit in his basement. Schoen's clutching her face and is all miffed because MY FACE, DAMMIT and Tot doesn't want her to run off before she can put a bandaid on it for her.
"Shouldn't you have someone standing guard?"
"LET NEU DEAL WITH IT."
Hell looks at Neu like she doesn't trust her and then walks away.
The next scene reminds me of something out of Umbrella Inc. Who knows, Masafumi could be in cahoots with them too. There's your standard Mad Scientist Lab Equipment, with some boiling beakers and weird shit in jars and stuff. There is what looks like a brain in a container, which is, you know, creepy. Then right next to another brain in a jar is a picture of Masafumi's mother. No, really. What a strange place to have a picture of your mum, Masafumi. On the other side of that jar is a family portrait consisting of his mother, his father, his brother Hirofumi, his other brother Mamoru, and his uncle Shuichi.
Now I know what you're going to say. Mamoru and Shuichi must be evil fuckers because, well, look at the rest of the family. Takatori's got bodyguards whacking people in rather subtle ways and he's involved with an organisation headed by three really old as fuck people who want to bring about the apocalypse; Masafumi kills people so he can do some freaky shit and experiment on people and...whatever else; Hirofumi is the most normal out of them all and we'll meet him next episode. He's still evil though.
What about Mamoru and Shuichi? Well, Mamoru was the lucky one and he just got kidnapped and never seen again. And Shuichi is actually a decent guy sort of. It's complicated. Very complicated. Shuichi is involved with the police though, and Mamoru is...wandering around with amnesia. Poor kid. He's better off that way.
Back to Masafumi and his weird experiments that no one at Rosenkreuz would bat an eyelash at, he asks Hell for the Freude data. The subs say "Freud", which I believe is a typo, or a Freudian slip. Or both. Hell is suddenly in a yellow dress that is way too short and a lilac crop jacket and glasses. Why is everything lilac? Was that like, everyone's favourite colour on the design team or something? Was it a cheap colour? I want answers to this! Also, whatever Masafumi is pouring into that beaker looks like lemonade. Mmm, lemonade.
"Masafumi, you should get some rest," advises Hell.
"The devil has come to kill me!" he cries.
o.O I don't see Crawford anywhere--oh, you weren't referring to him, you're just blathering on after falling off the deep end. Okay.
"The day is near!"
maybe you should rest, I think you're becoming disillusioned.
LOOK AT ALL THESE CORE LIFEFORMS THERE'S MILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF THEM IN THIS TINY TEST TUBE :D :D :D THEY'RE BIOLOGICALLY ENGINEERED SELF PROPAGATING CELLS, AND YES I AM MAKING UP MY OWN SCIENCE BULLSHIT SO I CAN SOUND SMRT.
in short Masafumi babbles about stuff I don't understand and don't care about because whatever. This thing helps find cellular weaknesses and crap. Basically if he completes this experiment he will have found the Philosopher's Stone, and no, there are no boy wizards or blond braided boys involved.
Basically what this crap does is it helps find weakness in your DNA. Your DNA degenerates, tears, and breaks down over time, and these inperfections in your DNA cause you to age. So by targeting and fixing the weaknesses, your DNA is indestructible, meaning you don't age, and therefore become immortal. That's the theory, anyway. That's what all his scientific bullshit amounts to, actual legit science theory.
REMEMBER THIS, BECAUSE IT'S MENTIONED AGAIN LATER BY SOMEONE HOTTER THAN MASAFUMI, and better taste in suits too.
There's one thing wrong with Masafumi's experiment. The fail-safe mechanism is, uh, FUBAR'd. Because he just can't get it right, dammit. He beckons Hell to him and she wraps her arms around him and he's all I AM AWESOME. Seriously.
I AM AWESOME.
I bet when Crawford wants to feel awesome, he has Schuldig come over and wrap his arms around him just like in this picture. And, of course, that Evil Reflective Glare on his lenses. And a smirk. Yes.
and knowing them, Crawford and Schuldig look a hundred times better doing this pose.
SO ENOUGH OF THAT, BACK TO WEISS. They're licking each other's wounds in their basement. Well, Omi is licking Ken's, because Ken was stupid enough to stop a whip with his bare arm not once but twice. Omi pretty much even says as much. They talk about the mission, going WELL THAT WAS FUN BUT I WOULDN'T DO IT TOO OFTEN, and Aya interrupts, saying that the mission isn't over yet. After all, they didn't get their target, and their target is Takatori Masafumi, so. Yeah. Unfinished business.
"What do you mean?" asks Omi. wtf I just explained why the mission's not over yet! "We destroyed the labs!" Well yes and that's all well and good but your princess is in another castle, Omi, and this princess is guarded by four hot women who will slice you to ribbons if you're not careful. Aya says that, pretty much, except in a more blunt, less wordy manner, as is his way of doing things.
"But..."
YOU DON'T GET PAID UNTIL YOU COMPLETE A MISSION DUH
I HAVE TO GET THEM BACK FOR THIS, vows Ken. Wow, lots of people have to get back at people who have injured them. Ken says, "Besides, I have to get them back for this," Schoen says Ken is going to be mincemeat, and Schuldig says that "Mister still owes me for this," after the fiasco that takes up three episodes and he pays for it in the third one. SO MUCH REVENGE.
"I have no intention of calling it quits either," says Yohji, who is sitting on the stairs. So far Omi's the only one who didn't know the mission wasn't over.
WELL I GUESS IF YOU GUYS ARE GOING, I'LL TAG ALONG TOO.
OKAY THEN FINISH PATCHING KEN UP AND THEN FIND US THE HELICOPTER, OMITTCHI.
yeah.
BUT WHY ME? WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME? WHY DON'T YOU GUYS DO SOME GOOGLING FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE?
"I'm going to sleep!" says Yohji. "I can't let the girls see me all worn out like this."
BUT I AM ABOUT TO PASS OUT MYSELF! DON'T YOU THINK I GET TIRED? That's what energy drinks and coffee and Mountain Dew are for, Omi.
Yohji just yawns and exits stage left, Omi clearly not done with the matter. Aya follows Yohji and who knows, they might end up having a romp or two, I mean the way they've been looking at each other the past eight episodes has not gone unnoticed.
"I don't want to look all worn out either," says Ken, who has the last word. LOL.
THE NEXT DAY, ROSE SPARKLES and some girl who wonders what this is all about. I'm assuming she's not talking about the radioactive roses, but instead about Weiss's absence. FEAR NOT, Momoe-san is here sweeping out front and HAI SAKURA.
WHAT FLOWERS DO YOU WANT?
I'M NOT HERE FOR FLOWERS, I'M HERE FOR AYA. I MADE HIM A BENTO.
whoa. A bento? My girlfriend used to make me bento. That's...that's what girlfriends do for their boyfriends. Or, probably, in Aya's case, I'm sure his sister made him a bento every day because Aya lacked a girlfriend to spoil him fff. Sakura hasn't known Aya for all that long, just three episodes, which would probably be like, a couple of months maybe. fff. I bet Yohji's gonna be jealous.
"Where is everyone?"
"If it's a gift, I recommend these."
God bless you, Momoe-san.
THEN WE GET A SHOT OF SOME GIRL SLEEPING AND SOME GUY...rubbing her nose? Rubbing her face? Petting her in some strange way that looks strange from this angle? Oh. Oh. It's Aya. What are you doing?
Oh and the weather's warm because he's wearing short sleeves. A purple tee that brings out his eyes and blue jeans. No, really, it brings out his eyes. Shut up, I know these things, I have the subscription to Cosmo and Project Runway on my DVR to prove it. Now Ken's exercising so he can punch Schoen in the face a little harder next time they meet.
Oh, and Ken? I like what I see. You should be shirtless more.
Actually, you know who should be shirtless? Schuldig. Yes. Throw Crawford in there too. Someone get them shirtless! Although Schuldig's shirtless on the back of Schwarz Ein, but it's not the same. I want more. Yes.
Oh and Ken, for one frame, your eyes are magically green. Like, obvious green. Like, Schuldig's jacket green. Before going back to blue. This is a normal occurrence for poor Kenken, though, whose eyes have been blue, green, and brown, sometimes in the same scene. Kind of like how Schuldig's eyes tend to be different shades of blue, but nonetheless captivating and piercing and OKAY YES I WILL SHUT UP ABOUT SCHULDIG NOW.
"I swear I'll get them for this," Ken vows.
Meanwhile Omi is googling helicopters in the hopes he stumbles on Masafumi's hideout.
"The self-defence force and air force both lost track of the helicopter." Well fuck. Surely there's another way to trace helicopters. We get a profile sheet of Masafumi, and if I'm not mistaken it says he's twenty-eight. Which means he's one year older than Hell and Crawford. Which according to fandom would mean he's over the hill and through the woods, which means that Takatori is past Grandma's house by like several thousand miles. Maybe one day when I'm bored I will make an ages chart.
(And for the record, pushing thirty is not "old". Not when fifty is the new thirty, and thirty is the new twenty.)
Omi remarks that he's seen his mug before, but he can't place where exactly. But who cares about that, it's time to check up on Yohji, who is at a cafe overlooking some mountains and ocean, and he's all by his lonesome. Well, until he starts hallucinating a hot woman who's yelling at him, saying, "You don't want to be a lowly P.I. forever, do you?"
yes, Yohji used to be a private investigator, and he was a damn good one, too, which is why he notices a lot of shit others do not, such as being able to tell who women are by their ankles. Fandom tends to forget this.
Anyway, the woman in the linked picture is Murase Asuka, Yohji's partner from his P.I. days. You know, the one we saw in flashbacks in episode three. Don't forget her, she even shows up in Gluhen. Anyway, she tells him to set his sights on something above a cup of coffee at this shitty kissaten, the one he's sitting in right this minute and hallucinating in, and um, why is that coffee reddish? Is there blood in that coffee? I know my coffee looks tan because I take cream and sugar in mine, but even when I drink it black, it never looked reddish. No wonder the coffee sucks at that place.
"What about your date's?" the waitress in a modest version of a French maid outfit asks.
"Just leave it. She's not coming anyway." Aww. Yohji, you make me want to squish you. Or have Aya creep on you, see you're sad, and drink coffee with you. But that won't happen with Kapitel!Aya. And you don't look like his sister, so he'll pretend to not give a flying fuck.
oh and Yohji is wearing a cream blazer.
WAS CREAM A CHEAP COLOUR TOO? ALONG WITH LILAC? IS GREEN ONE TOO? WHAT ABOUT BROWN? BASICALLY, ALL THE COLOURS CRAWFORD WEARS, WERE THEY CHEAP? Seriously. What is with the cream? Yohji's blazer is the colour of my fucking coffee. And as I said before, I take it with cream and sugar so it's nice and velvety smooth and has a pleasant aftertaste and shush, it's Dunkin Donuts coffee, okay? We don't have Starbucks up here and it's not like I pay for my coffee anyway--I have awesome coworkers.
um anyway. (If Aya were my coworker, he'd be the one I'd want to punch in the face but wouldn't because he still manages to do his job.)
AND NOW WE CREEP ON NEU, who is examining her broken mask-helmet-thing she stole from the set of Gatchaman. Hell knocks on the door and oh, that yellow thing is actually a shirt. She's wearing--you guessed it--cream slacks. CREAM IS A CHEAP COLOUR. I am convinced. It is the exact shade of cream as Crawford's suit. If she were wearing a green shirt instead of yellow, buttoned up that lilac crop jacket, and had a matching cream blazer on, I'd think they were trying really hard to play up the whole 'counterparts' angle.
Now I just pictured what I described and eww, that jacket does not work as a vest substitute because the frills.
Neu looks at her just sort of blankly, and Hell tells her it's her turn to stand guard to make sure
"I will not let them get away with this!" Schoen screams in outrage.
Let me just put it this way: no one will ever get away with anything.
There. All our bases covered.
Also watch out for the flying glass from your mirror.
MASAFUMI, meanwhile, IS DOING SCIENCY THINGS. Hell brings him food and he's all LEAVE IT BY THE DOOR. Yeah fuck eating, it's for plebes.
"This reminds me of the old days," Hell says. WE WASTED SO MANY YEARS, SEVEN YEARS OF THOSE STUPID PROFESSORS WHO KNOW NOTHING BECAUSE YOU ARE AWESOME. God, Hell, you make it sound like seven years made you old or something. You're only twenty-seven. She's got her arms around him again and why do I have the feeling they've probably fucked in that spot many times in the past?
He shrugs her off and continues tinkering, saying, "The world that I've dreamt of is almost complete."
Does it involve demons from the pits of Hell being resurrected and the apocalypse? Because if so, there's an organisation trying to do that already. They're called SS, although the subs use SZ and fandom uses something else entirely, but anyway, I won't talk much about them until I need to.
"Take me with you to this world of yours."
Hell, I don't think Masafumi really gives two shits about you. He'd leave you behind and crawl through hell all by himself. Your team isn't even really functional. I think Weiss might be more familial, and they're dysfunctional as all fuck, but at least they watch out for each other, even Aya, stuck up prick as he can be sometimes. There's only one team who would, uh, actually go through hell together. Especially two of them on that team. If the one I'm thinking of said to his leader, "Take me with you to this world of yours," he would say, "Yes." They wouldn't exactly hold hands or anything, but yeah.
This is why love is for fools. fff.
AND NOW WE HAVE SOME CHERRY BLOSSOM TREES and holy shit this episode is almost half over and I feel like I've been going on for hours already. Anyway. Cherry blossom trees. Meaning this is... Probably between late April to early June. Didn't someone do a timeline trying to pinpoint the seasons and stuff during the course of Kapitel? Anyway, we have Tot admiring all the falling sakura petals when a sudden gust of wind that came out of nowhere and may or may not have been telekinetically induced causes her to lose grip on her umbrella and sends it spiraling away.
"Oh no, Tot's umbrella!" She even looks saddened by it, like she just lost a friend. Seeing as it's her only weapon, I'd probably be sad too. Also yes, in case you haven't noticed, Tot talks like a little kid, meaning she talks in the third person. Which makes sense because she's a five year old in a fifteen year old's body and there is a reason for that and Koyasu tells us that in All That Weiss. Since it's triggering, I won't mention it, but Schreient's pasts have been translated and posted and are relatively easy to find if you troll the Weiss Kreuz comms, so.
She runs after her umbrella and it ends up getting caught by none other than... Nagi. Who I told you about before, briefly. Nagi is a telekinetic, a rather powerful one who doesn't have a complete grip on his powers yet because, well, he's fifteen. What more do you expect? Throes of puberty, etc. etc. He is, for all intents and purposes, Crawford's protege, and he's got issues because who the hell in this series doesn't, least of all in Schwarz? Nagi's past is explained in Holy Children and also on the Wikipedia page so I don't feel bad about saying anything, but he (probably accidentally) killed his mother, so he ended up out on the streets, was bullied because, you know, being a telekinetic gets you weird looks, and he ended up at an orphanage. The same orphanage Ken visited for therapy because he had issues. Ken actually meets Nagi in Holy Children.
That's also the drama CD that makes me lol because poor Nagi is scared shitless of Crawford.
So now that I've properly acquainted you with Nagi... Onward!
Tot takes her umbrella back, smiles nicely at him, and asks, "Who are you?" Which I feel is a perfectly good question to ask a stranger who just happens to be in your backyard.
"Nagi. Naoe Nagi." The subs here are stupid and say "Naoya" and iirc the dub says something completely off base because it is the dub and therefore doesn't know what it's doing anyway.
[EDIT] Apparently "Naoya" is how the dub says it. Well. That's not even spelled like "Naoe" in Japanese! I ranted about that here already, though.
So Tot is all fine and dandy... And then she turns her umbrella into a weapon and says, "I remember! You came with Papa's father!" That is, he's one of them. Poor Nagi. You can't go around talking shit about Schwarz like that, seeing as they're the only family he can remember and Crawford's like a dad to him. She tells him that if he hurts "papa" (Masafumi), she won't forgive him. Which is similar to what Nagi said to Ken in Holy Children: "Promise me you'll protect Sister, Ken. I won't ever forgive you if you hurt her."
I took that just because I thought it looked pretty, and look, it's Nagi :D
"Do I look like a bad guy?" he asks. fjdkfjdskfd maybe it's a good thing I posted that picture because, well, no. No, you don't. You're the kid I'd want to squish in a hug.
shut up it's pretty okay
Tot lowers her umbrella and says, "No." I don't know if Nagi feels good or bad about that, really, fff.
"I came to see you," says Nagi, "because you are very different." Aww, his face lights up when he talks about her jfdkfjds :3
Tot looks at him astonished. "Huh?"
"Aren't you lonely?"
"No, I have Papa, Hell, Schoen, and Neu..." She then goes on to say that Masafumi isn't her real father. Her real father is a
So Nagi decides to show off a little bit and uses his telekinesis to throw sakura petals all over in a shower of sorts.
sorry I love these two, okay?
But all too soon Tot is called away for dinner, and Nagi is by himself again. Poor Nagi :(
WELL HE'S NOT BY HIMSELF AT ALL.
"Have you fallen for her?"
Sorry, I just had to recover from heart palpitations. I'm okay. Guess Schuldig had to take Farfarello out for his walk and decided to check up on Nagi or something.
If I were Nagi I'd've been I DUNNO, HAVE YOU FALLEN FOR CRAWFORD? but then I probably would have a gun pointed in my face, or been slapped or pistol whipped or mind-fucked or something. Oh, and for a second, I thought Schuldig and Farfarello were arm-in-arm. That would have been disturbing, to say the least.
I wasn't quick enough to get it from episode nine, which is okay because it was in the preview from last episode. :D
shut up I told you all in the beginning I was a Schwarz fangirl and I have it bad for Schuldig.
Nagi's also a favourite of mine.
SO UH YEAH to recap, Schuldig asked Nagi if he's fallen for Tot, and Nagi just denies it, saying, "What are you talking about?" fff. Typical teenager with that look of "go away, it's not any of your business".
"You might have to kill her," chimes in Farfarello.
"If the order comes," retorts Nagi.
AND NOW TO A BUILDING.
GET RID OF ALL THE EVIDENCE, MAKE SURE THERE IS NO TRACE OF THIS SHIT, screams Takatori into the phone, which he promptly slams down onto the receiver. FUCK YOU, MASAFUMI, I'LL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP FOR THIS SHIT THAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH. CRAWFORD.
ohai, Crawford.
Crawford is in a subservient bow and I'm pretty sure he's thinking of all the ways in which Takatori could die, but fff no one needs to know that.
"Sir, if I may... Don't you think it's only a matter of time before things resolve themselves?"
"And you can see these things... The future?"
Because that pause after "if I may" was probably Crawford seeing, also, the many ways in which Masafumi will die that don't involve him or his teammates, fff.
EYECATCHER. I am almost 5300 words into this review and we're halfway through the episode.
It's a Yohji eyecatcher! :D
ROSES.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"What are you talking about?"
yeah, what the fuck is going on here? Since I have the volume turned off, I don't even know who's speaking, but since I saw roses before, I suspect it's Aya.
"You knew that Masafumi was a Takatori."
oh shit I think I was right.
"Kritiker must've missed it." This must be Manx then.
Oh, well, whaddya know, it is Aya.
"But we were able to find this out THROUGH THE POWER OF GOOGLE."
Manx says nothing. She's probably heard all this shit before, or she read the script before hand.
"I joined Weiss to get revenge and--" blah blah blah we all know Aya's song and dance routine. Death to Takatori, comatose sister, dead parents, ruined life, bloodstained hands, yadda yadda fucking yadda. Aya. We get it. You hate the world. You can shove your katana up Masafumi's arse and kill him and then that's one less Takatori in the world. One step closer to your goal. Stop fucking fighting Manx and Persia and Kritiker.
BRIDGES.
"A hunting dog must be allowed to hunt, otherwise he will bite his master."
oh look a fucking cream coloured car.
I am starting to hate the colour cream.
Oh and Persia's metaphor was apt considering next episode involves hunting. Lol. Bet he didn't know that.
CLIFFS. WATERFALL. FISHERMAN.
Fisherman with an old school cellphone. Wow.
"Stalking somebody this far into the mountains?"
More like he's stalking the fish, but yeah.
Oh look, it's Hell.
"Who were you talking to?" asks Tot, who pops out from behind a tree.
"You may end up dead before you get to answer that," says Schoen.
Apparently the fisherman guy wasn't discreet enough in his guise as an undercover Kritiker agent. Sucks for him.
Neu appears behind him ready to hack his head off with her bare hands when Masafumi puts a stop to this tomfoolery. He's holding a tube of stuff the same shade of blue as Tot's hair, and says that, with Krankenhaus out of business, there are no test subjects.
So yeah, this guy gets to drink some icky crap. Yay for him. Neu holds him still.
"And with Katoh gone--" Katoh was David Carrindine in episode seven. "--we no longer have anyone to kidnap children."
yeah Masafumi isn't wound too tight.
"Any old rat can become our lab rat."
The Kritiker guy mutates and Tot screams about how she hates monsters and wants it to go away. So they kill it because the fail-safe failed. Kill it with a RPG.
I hope he doesn't wonder why his father hates him.
MEANWHILE, WITH PERSIA AND MANX.
They found the Kritiker agent. Persia's in a cream suit like everyone else in this show, and Manx basically gives him a viewer discretion is advised notice for what he is about to see may be disturbing to some people. She pulls back the sheet and Persia acts like he might have shat his pants a little.
"Is this a human being?" Well, no, he looks like a spider ate a gorilla ate a tentacle monster ate a frog. Persia goes to touch him and tentacles sprout forth, and Manx warns him about touching strange things. His fist is shaking, he is so enraged.
"Death is the only thing that will stop them." Death is the only thing that will stop anything, really, but okay.
AND NOW WE'RE GONNA CREEP ON OMI, see what he's up to. Might as well. Probably still googling stuff for the mission, like Masafumi's home address or something. ...Turns out he's actually asleep on the keyboard, LOL. The monitor flashes and some stuff is either lifted or put onto the computer, I can't really tell which. The voice over has Tot asking Masafumi if the experiment is done. He says it is. Schoen, in all her vainess, asks if her beauty will last forever with this. He says yes.
"Our dreams are finally going to come true," says Hell. Yeah, um, your stuff resembles T-Virus to me.
EXPLOSIONS. FIRE.
"Is it the devil? Is it the devil from the other day?" Masafumi asks as Hell holds him close on the floor.
I don't think so, considering the devil wears cream suits that may or may not be Armani and he usually has his favourite demon by his side. The guy we have here is named Hidaka Ken. The Shining Finger guy. Schoen spots him and rips her clothes off...
...to reveal her mission outfit, which she somehow hid underneath all those revealing clothes. Um. Okay. She magically has her weapon, too! I wish I had Hammerspace IRL. Think of how convenient it'd be!
"I'm going to make you pay for this scar today!" Schoen says.
"What's your name?" Tot asks Omi.
"Weiss," he answers.
"What a cute name! Bye-bye, Weiss!" Tot transforms. It really does not help that she wears odango like Usagi, does it? It also probably doesn't help that Usagi's seiyuu does the voice for Neu, either.
"So we're finally alone," says Yohji, as he stands on the window sill. Neu just stares at him.
"Don't be shy and show me what's under that mask." I suspect Yohji has a hunch about the identity of Neu...
She attacks!
"I really don't want to force you, but..." He lunges for her.
"Don't worry," Hell says to Masafumi, and she's somehow changed her clothes. WHY CAN'T I DO THIS IRL. WHY. DO YOU KNOW HOW AWESOME THAT'D BE?
oh and Masafumi officially has lost all his marbles.
"Takatori Masafumi." That voice! That deep, velvety voice could only be...Koyasu Takehito--I mean, Aya.
SATAN HAS COME FOR ME!
I just told you the devil wears Armani and his favourite demon is a red head with a German lilt. Aya is indeed a red head, but he's not wearing Armani and he can't see the future, so he's not the devil goddammit. Aya can be Death instead. I feel this is an acceptable compromise.
I SEE YOU'VE BEEN TRAINING, says Schoen to Ken, as she tries to whip it like Devo.
THANKS FOR NOTICING I DID A TRAINING MONTAGE, YOU'RE NOT SO BAD YOURSELF.
I'LL STILL KILL YOU
HAHAHANO.
So Yohji and Neu are fighting and all he says is, "You're stubborn like her too."
Meanwhile Aya is trying to kill Hell and Masafumi. He is not getting too far. Masafumi runs, Aya gives chase, and Masafumi downs the T-Virus when no one's looking and Aya strikes him down. Very quickly he becomes the Tyrant. If Tyrant were part mountain gorilla, part tentacle monster.
I HAVE BECOME GOD.
um. eww.
He swipes at Aya and knocks him across the room and into a piano. He then picks Aya up and bashes him against it, serenading him with Frank Sinatra. Well that happened in the outtakes, but anyway.
"You're a devil," Masafumi says. "The devil will perish by the hand of God."
Say, if you're God, there's this guy I know who would just love to
"You will never be a god." Oooh, burn. ALSO, YOUR BREATH IS PUTRID PLEASE STOP BREATHING ON ME.
STFU. ONCE THE HUMANS ALL DIE, I WILL CREATE A NEW WORLD.
oh, like what SZ is doing? Yeah have fun with that.
meanwhile Hell is watching in horror at what is going on.
BACK TO YOHJI AND NEU. He's got her pinned to the floor and tells her to let him see her face.
MEANWHILE, FIRE EVERYWHERE and ohshit gas tanks--
BOOM just as Yohji sees Neu's actual face. The explosion interrupts Schoen and Ken's fight. Tot runs to find Masafumi and Omi chases after her, stopping when a singed piece of paper lands near him. Aya emerges from some debris and he's, uh, hurt. And then this happens:
I will let those two pictures speak for themselves.
So everyone's all OH NOES and meanwhile Aya's probably going OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISN'T ONE OF THOSE ANIME SHOWS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and yeah, I'm with Aya here, please tell me this didn't turn into some tentacle hentai. Omi makes to shoot at Masafumi but Tot knocks him down, saying DON'T HURT PAPA YOU ASSHOLE.
NO ONE WILL GET IN MY WAY, says Masafumi. Yohji tries to strangle him but...he gets caught by Masafumi's tentacles too. He gets all tentacle happy and starts destroying shit with them and trying to kill people with them. THERE'S NO FAIL-SAFE.
some shit almost falls on Masafumi but Schoen pushes him out of the way. Tot is cornered by fire and Ken is pissed off because Hell is shouting at them, saying it's all their fault since they, you know, cornered all of them and forced Masafumi's hand.
"Get out of the way," says Aya.
FUCK YOU, says Hell. She charges him, but then Masafumi stabs her with some tentacles and throws her around like a rag doll. Tot gets crushed by some debris, Aya screams TAKATORI, and everyone attacks him all at once.
Ken jumps onto Masafumi, Omi tells him not to and oh, boy, he gets taken in by tentacles. The tentacles want in Omi's mouth and god only knows what the hell else they want in.
"Mamoru?"
Omi shoots out a dart or something and is released. Aya then deals the final blow.
MORE FIRE.
"Not bad, these Weiss guys."
ohai.
Crawford would probably kill me, wouldn't he?
AND THAT ENDS THE EPISODE. Finally.
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