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omaewokorosuAs mentioned in episode one, there are spoilers and also a lot of fangirling. If that's too much for you to handle, kindly make use of the exits to your left and right and leave. There are also a lot of pictures so uh yeah.
We open episode two of Kapitel with a shot of a hospital.
Yes, it really is called Magic Bus Hospital. Don't ask me why. I don't know.
No you are not the only one who thought of the Magic School Bus
"Nee, Jayden," you say, "what's so special about a hospital that makes me think of PBS cartoons?" Well aside from the fact that The Magic School Bus was a fucking awesome show (and don't you deny it), if you'd let me advance a little bit, you could see why this hospital is so important.
So as we seemingly scale up this building like Spider Man and spy some flowers on a window sill that are probably totally important because symbolism and--
Oh wait, that's Utena. Sorry. The flowers are just there to be all flowery. And pretty. Another bouquet is placed on the window sill as if there aren't enough already and man, whoever's in this hospital room must be spoiled on by family or something.
OH OW THIS SCENE CHANGE JUST GAVE ME WHIPLASH
Suddenly we are given a shot of the Koneko, where it looks like there are only four girls fangirling today. I guess the others must have called out sick or something. "Sorry, can't help fangirl the Weiss florist guys, I have strep throat." "Ohh, I hope you feel better! We'll fangirl Yohji extra for you!" "Oh thank you so much!" Well looks like most of the fangirls aren't the only ones who called out today because Aya's not in either. ...Suddenly now maybe there is a reason why there aren't so many girls today.Give me Yohji and I'm all set.
So yeah, Ken's all, "Aya's not here today," whilst lugging flowers around because that's what he does. That's all I've ever seen him do so far is lug flowers. How exciting. So one of the girls is all, "They're the sun, clouds, wind, and rain," and I don't know why but that just caused I feel the earth move under my feet to start playing in my head, and also the band Earth, Wind, and Fire to come to mind. Yohji's making a bouquet of some sorts and remarks that they're not the weather report. Well, Yohji, in their universe? You guys appear to be gods, so just deal with being weathermen for the time being, okay? Ouka remarks that a stick up one's arse causes premature hair loss and Yohji is very much D:
Well that might explain his hair in Gluhen then.
"You should learn from Omi," says Ouka. Because Omi is totes optimistic. Look, he looks all KAWAII GENKI DESU NE but in reality he is...not.
BUT WE'LL DISCUSS THAT IN A FEW EPISODES.
Also am I the only one who thinks the bow on Ouka's school uniform is ridiculous looking?
"I wonder where Aya-kun is at a busy time like this..." says Omi. Gee, Omi, if the shop being half empty is "busy", I'd hate to see what "slow" looked like. I think you're doing just fine without Aya.
Where is Aya, you ask? Well, remember that hospital I mentioned in the beginning of this review? Yeah, that's where he is. Before you have a heart attack, no, he's not injured. He's just visiting.
So then two of the girls start going all I LOOKED THIS ALL UP ON WIKIPEDIA and recite Ken's, Yohji's, and Omi's informaton, most of which I distributed to you in the previous review, save for shit like birthdays and blood types. If you really give a damn: Ken was born on December 23rd, Yohji was born March 3rd, and Omi was born on Leap Day. And Aya was born the Fourth of July. Ken's blood type is B, Yohji's is AB, and Omi's is O. Aya's, therefore, would be A. There you go. In case you ever wanted to know. You can also find this on the internet and in All That Weiss in case you forget at some point. And just for completedness, Aya's twenty, Ken's nineteen, Yohji's twenty-two, and Omi's seventeen. And then if you really care, Yohji is six foot, Aya is 5'10", Ken is 5'6", and Omi is 5'4".
And how the hell do I know all this? Because Yohji and Schuldig are the same age, Aya is Schuldig's height, Omi is two years older than Nagi, and Aya and Farfarello are the same age. And Yohji and Crawford are the same height.
ANYWAY. The one girl remarks that she thought Omi was younger than her because he's got a baby face and he's TOTEMO KAWAII and whatever. They'd probably laugh at me if I said Omi was an assassin. "What? Omi-kun? Naaaaaaah. He couldn't even hurt a fly, let alone kill someone!" Yeah okay whatever makes you sleep better at night.
Ouka wants to make a flower into a wreath but Omi is all NO THAT FLOWER JUST BLOOMED JFKJDSFKDS and then goes BUT I CAN MAKE IT IN TWO WEEKS :D :D :D
okay so clearly the show is all THAT'S ENOUGH OF THE OTHER GUYS, BACK TO AYA
who is still wearing that hideous sweater
that is the reason why your sister will not wake up
she does not want to be confronted with that ugly thing
oh btw here's Aya's sister:
What's her name, you ask? Her name is Aya. ...It's complicated. I'll explain when that comes into play. Yes I realise that she totes does not look like she's related to Aya. That's okay. It's an anime. Siblings do not have to look alike.
So Aya stands over his sister's bed like a creeper and then we are interrupted briefly.
fort laufen's definition is actually in the subtitle. ...It means "run away", which is rather apt because it's about death matches!
Chess death matches. Human chess. Picture that gigantic, life size wizard chess scene in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone movie with more blood and guns. Of course since this is Weiss Kreuz, Harry Potter has more blood, but anyway.Work with me here. Basically two people are selected at random, bets are placed, they fight until one of them is dead, people cheer, and you die a little inside because I'm sure somewhere in the world, this shit actually happens.
Onward!
So Aya decided to stop being a creeper and shuffle back to the Koneko, because he does have a job, you know. So he's walking down some stairs when a ball comes tumbling over and he stops it, going all WHAT IS THIS using facial expressions because Aya Fujimiya went to the School of Heero Yuy, and if you've lived under a rock all your life and didn't know, Heero Yuy is a man of few words. It's unknown at this point whether or not Aya can survive falling from a hundred feet in the air after self-destructing something he's standing on, but he definitely doesn't talk much.
Actually, come to think of it, Zechs doesn't talk much either. Hmm.
Anyway! A little girl appears and since her eyes are closed we must assume that either that she watched too much Pokemon and turned into Brock, or she's blind, or sleepwalking, or possibly all three. Aya gives her the ball back and she's all OMG BIG BROTHER JUN IS THAT YOU and Aya's all WHAT NO I'M NOT YOUR BROTHER
well actually he just goes, "No," and walks away like an asshole but yeah. GOD AYA YOU SUCK ALL THE HAPPINESS OUT OF THE ROOM LIKE DEMENTORS. Good think I brought chocolate.
The ball rolls down the stairs Aya just went down, and he discovers OH NOES SHE FAINTED. That's what you get for being a big meanie in an ugly orange sweater, Aya. What would your sister think? AND THE GIRL LOOKED SO HAPPY TOO, ALL 8D, AND YOU HAD TO JUST CRUSH HER DREAMS.
Well at least he alerts a nurse and helps cart her back to her hospital room. She's got an illness and blah blah blah, parents are dead, her older brother's all she has left and he comes every day and stays by her side for hours and presumably just stares at her, but now he's gone without a trace and Miyu or whatever the girl's name is is all weird, and Aya, you could at least pretend to look like you give a damn in your ugly assed sweater, I mean it's the least you could do. I'm sure you can even relate since you are also a rather doting older brother to an extremely ill sister whom you visit every day and stare at for hours, presumably talking about things that don't involved getting hit by cars whose passengers have funky sideburns. Like maybe...flowers or something. I don't know. Aya's not my muse. He tells me nothing.
So when Aya's decided he's heard enough, he nods to the nurse, his way of saying OKAY I'M DONE BYE NOW I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW SAME TIME, SAME UGLY WARDROBE come on Aya I know you have nicer looking things in that closet of yours, what, were you taking wardrobe tips from a guy wearing a cream suit with a lilac shirt, green tie, and brown vest? Because if so, punch him in the face (or try to, since he'll See it coming and evade it) and tell him to get that red headed partner of his to burn his wardrobe and get a new one. And then ask if said red head will do the same for you. He probably won't, but you can always try.
So Aya looks up at his sister's window before walking away, probably even sighing a little and contemplating his life and what he's done with it. And what would his sister think? Would she approve? Probably not. He even kind of looks like he gives a shit about something (and also like there's something on his nose he's trying to see). Aya is so caught up in thinking about his sister that he nearly walks in front of a moving car. Aya, didn't your mother tell you to look both ways before crossing the street? Especially in fucking Tokyo of all places? Who the hell'd pay your sister's medical expenses if you ended up in the room next door?
Oh and speaking of Aya's sister, here's a trippy looking flashback! Seriously, who the hell coloured these cels, and what were they smoking? I would love to know.
Oh and remember the guy I mentioned who has funky sideburns? I wasn't kidding. Also, you know now that he's evil, because he's doing that Evil Reflective Glasses Glare. Weiss Kreuz does it a lot. Because most of the evil people? Yeah, they're wearing glasses. We have a family of evil spectacles wearing people, the leader of an all female assassin group wears them, and the leader of a seemingly rag tag group of psychics (yes, psychics) wears them.
Anyway. After a flashback that consists of an acid trip in really bad .gif quality, we return to reality, where Aya is reeling from either the flashback or the trippy colours--it's hard to tell which.
okay screw the dramatics let's see two people knock the shit out of each other, because Fight Club was exciting so why the hell not. We get to even see someone use gardening tools to dispatch of his opponents. Anything can become a weapon if you put enough force behind it, so why not?
Well that was short lived. The fighting montage segues into a Weiss mission from Persia. "All of these men have one thing in common: their lives are in the gutter. The guy on the left is face down."I had to include an outtake line somewhere okay. Basically, the victims Persia is briefing Weiss about are men whose lives are in the gutter--they owe money that they can't pay back because loan sharks are bastards and they didn't feel like going the Okane ga Nai route (I don't blame them), so they sell themselves as fighters to the death for lots of money. Killing for profit. Sounds familiar.
Also I am going to break the serious atmosphere and take the time to tell Manx to go put some pants or shorts or something on because, honestly, what the hell. DID SOMEONE FORGET TO PUT UNDERWEAR ON TODAY? WHO THE FUCK DERPED ON THIS ONE?
what were you doing before you came to the Koneko, Manx SOMEONE PLEASE GET HER SOME PANTS OR A TOWEL OR SOMETHING. Maybe a censor bar?
okay anyway. Their target for this mission? A guy who's making lots and lots of money, more than you can ever hope to make, gambling in the underground world of, well, human chess. Which is slightly better than, say, human hunting, but only by a little bit. The target's name is Hikage Masaya, and no I totally did not just type "Mikage" and backspace to correct it. Hikage buys all these d00ds who defaulted on their loans and pits them against each other in death matches because he's just that great a guy. They don't have much to go on, not even a clear picture, but one thing they know for certain: when Hikage gets excited (take that how you will), a red, ring-like birth mark appears on his forehead. And that's how you will know you have the right guy. Are you guys all in?
WELL THESE BASTARDS MUST PAY, says Ken, who even jumps from his seat, he's so disgusted with humanity. FEEL ALL MY LOVE, MY HATE, AND ALL MY SORROW--oh wait wrong show, sorry guys, I'm attempting to multi-task and got confused. Omi is more WHAT WERE THEY THINKING, HUMANS ARE NOT DOLLS DAMMIT.
Yohji says no, Omi asks why, these guys are lower than scum, and Yohji responds that there's no pretty women, fuck this I'm going to smoke a cigarette and get drunk. Everyone else is all, OKAY BYE HAVE FUN WE'RE GOING ON THIS MISSION NOW. Oh and someone (maybe Ken? I don't have the sound on so idk) remarks Yohji has no sense of justice. When you're an assassin, I don't think you have much of one to begin with, really. Yohji even says, "I'm not in Weiss because of my sense of justice."
(In case you didn't know: Weiss can pass on missions if they choose to. Also, not everyone is required to go on missions.)
Also Omi is all WHAT IS THIS THAT PICTURE OF HIKAGE SUCKS and Manx tells him to suck it up and deal with it and then tells them about the birth mark. Then, presumably, Omi comes up with some sort of plan, because otherwise they are fucked.
Also, because I can, here's Aya's srs bsns face. Dammit Aya, you're making me think you're pretty. Damn you and your red hair and pretty eyes and pretty face. My brain totes just said HIT THAT UNF and where the hell is Schwarz I am clearly being brainwashed, this is the work of some kind of evil.
...All in due time.
ANYWAY, IT'S CASINO TIME, and clearly it's not a kid-friendly place, what with table dancers and pole dancers and some other -dancers, I'm sure. I bet Yohji's sorry he passed on this one, but that's his loss and everyone else's gain. Yohji can be there in spirit, and he technically is--more on that later.
Omi is posing as a waiter so he can keep tabs on everyone, but especially Aya. Ken's outside in the shadows as back up. Aya's going to be the fighter, because he's Aya and the star of this show.
Okay so remember when I said last review that this episode had a parallel between two characters? Well. This is Jun, big brother to Miyu, who we met earlier in the episode. Yeah, he's the devoted older brother who got into deep debt paying his sister's medical bills. So what's he doing? Killing people. Doesn't matter if it's a fight to the death in a chess like atmosphere or if he were hired by God himself to smite the dumbass humans below, he's still killing. Kill or be killed. Yeah. How unfortunate. Also of note, Jun fights with a sword. A katana, actually.
People who have seen this episode before will immediately see where I am going with this, but if this is your first time, don't worry, I'll go slow.
Anyway, Jun's opponent has a sword breaker (a weapon with a toothed edge where a blade can be caught and, if twisted, broken). Jun appears to have the upper hand...until the other guy pulls out a gun and unloads an entire clip into the poor guy. So poor Jun is, uh, dead. He lost. Who's gonna take care of Miyu now?
Omi is very much O_O by what just happened.
Jun's last words? His sister's name. Also, look, people do bleed in Weiss Kreuz:
And here I thought no one in this universe bled for a minute...
So the guy who bet on black is all OH WTF WAS THAT THAT'S TOTES AGAINST THE RULES and the ref is all WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THERE ARE NO RULES N00B EXCEPT THE OTHER GUY HAS TO DIE. So then the guy makes a rather tasteless thing about bringing out nuclear weapons and everyone is all that guy's a total n00b let's just ignore him. Although guys, I gotta ask: what the fuck is up with these guys' expressions? (The two guys in the background.) Seriously. Especially the one guy--I didn't know eyebrows could even contort like that. Ouch. Go see a doctor about that, dude.
So some big and burly dude comes out and Gun Guy fidgets and tries to reload his gun. He could have done that sooner, but he's a n00b too I guess and didn't think about that. No one thinks to reload guns, not even professionals (more on that in episode twelve or so). They don't reload automatically like they do in video games, people! Has Resident Evil taught no one anything? Press R, dammit! (And conserve ammunition, too--who the hell do you think you are, Trowa Barton?)
Suffice to say, Gun Guy, since he didn't press R fast enough, dies. YOU ARE DEAD. CONTINUE? Gun Guy says, "Nah, I'm good." Well then. Sucks for you.
SCENE CHANGE AND wait what's this?
Ugh, lady, please learn to coordinate colours. ...And find some more flattering hats.
Takatori is the guy on the left, by the way. The guy in the white suit is his bodyguard. One of them. There's four, but I guess his partner decided to stay home and babysit or some shit, I don't know, why don't you go and ask him?
(Also, the furniture looks so shiny it's inflatable looking. How tacky.)
Here's a close up of Takatori Reiji:
... yes I realise how, uh, suggestive the subtitle is. You might be on the receiving end, Takatori, but your bodyguard prefers to pitch. :D
After some nervous laughter by all in attendance, it's all business as usual. Takatori's here to blow some money, because he's evil. He wants to see who's worth his money, because he can't waste his millions, dontcha know? Could easily blow that money on strippers instead or something. Takatori remarks that the current winner "looks strong" and wants a closer look, and I'm not sure if he's trying to buy a piece of meat or he's seriously thinking of making that guy a stripper, idk, use your imagination, come to your own conclusions. Takatori and the two other people walk off and Takatori's bodyguard just, uh, stands there like a n00b, presumably because he wants some distance from Takatori after that strange remark of his, or maybe he smells? Who knows. He's there later so what does anyone care? I'll properly introduce you all to Takatori's bodyguard later once I can get some fucking close ups.
So awkwardness behind us now, we're back to Aya, who Hikage is counting on to be awesome or some shit. And of course Aya is wearing his trademark orange sweater and carrying a stick because he's Aya. Don't question him. Anyway, Hikage has awesome intuition and maybe he can even see the future, I wouldn't be surprised in this series, and all his choices end up winning. Aya is his choice, therefore Aya will win. Of course. He's Aya! Didn't Hikage read the goddamn script? The prize is one million yen, and Hikage is disappointed that all the strong looking menz have all died because they are Not Aya and therefore are all a bunch of n00bs anyway.
We get another glimpse at Jun, who is still dead and bloody. Aya asks about him and Hikage's assistant is all OH HIS NAME IS JUN SOMETHING-OR-OTHER AND HE HAD TO PAY HIS SISTER'S MEDICAL BILLS SO HE STARTED KILLING TO DO SO AND WELL HE FAILED 'CAUSE HE'S DEAD TEE HEE.
Aya, that could be you. You on that stretcher being carted off to a grave.
See, Jun and Aya pretty much had the same shit happen. Their parents are both dead, both of their sisters are ill and in the hospital, both of them are in debt to pay for their darling siblings, both of them became killers for money in a fit of desperation. If Aya fucks up, his fate is death. however, if he succeeds, his fate is exile, because how can he face his sister knowing the money that's kept her alive is bloodied, dirty money? Exile is better than death, though. But that's what could happen should he fail. And then what happens to Aya-chan? Jun obviously didn't fight hard enough because if his sister were really that much to him, he would have fought harder to stay alive.
Okay I'm done being all analytical.
Some guy's number is up and he goes to fight; another guy does apeshit and gets killed because he's a weakling or some shit. It's pure adrenaline down here because it's all random and no one knows when they're up until the floor underneath them moves them to the surface of the chess board.
And here we have an animation derp: when Omi's walking down the stairs, he's walking, walking... and suddenly he jumps back a step, then he's back where he was. Someone derped the frames.
There's more where that came from. The next derp I'll be mentioning actually gave me an OCD attack because I kept going WHERE THE FUCK IS THE WATCH FKDJFSKDSJFKDSHK and ranks up there with another derp I'll mention in a later review where fucking CLOTHES ARE SUDDENLY NOT THERE BUT THEY WERE JUST HERE WHERE DID THEY GO
Anyway, Ken's outside chilling and asks if Omi's seen Hikage. Omi responds no. He then proceeds to try and calculate when Aya will be up. Since it's completely random, there's a lot of stats crap involved and I was never good at maths so I don't give a shit. Omi just pressed a bunch of keys and OH HE'LL PROBABLY BE UP IN LIKE TEN MINUTES BASED OFF OF HOW THE OTHER GUY IS FIGHTING. But Ken is all FUCK THE TECHNICAL SHIT, ALL THAT MATTERS IS AYA PWNING. RIGHT? And Omi's all, BUT THEY CAN USE WHATEVER WEAPON THEY WANT. IF IT'S A GUN, AYA IS FUCKED.
It's nice to see they're already writing Aya off as a casualty/lost cause. Some teammates you have there, Aya.
Ken's response? "That would be bad." Well no shit, Sherlock. AND YOU WONDER WHY FANDOM IGNORES YOU, KEN? You and Farfarello can play in the Forgotten Characters Corner. He bites. He also stabs and slices. Mind the knives.
SO. Ken asks if they should switch to Plan B and Omi's all I THOUGHT SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN SO YEAH, PLAN B, I HAVE IT. I ALSO HAVE A PLAN C, D, AND E JUST IN CASE. Omi's always fucking prepared, bitches. And then he hangs up on Ken and he's all D: Meanwhile, Omi activates the Bombay Initiative or whatever fancy name he gave it. (He calls it the Bombay Mission, but I like "Bombay Initiative" better.)
And we are officially halfway through, because EYECATCHER. This one is of Omi.
Anyway, what is this "Bombay Mission"? Basically blowing a whole bunch of lights out. No, really. I never said it was a genius plan, nor did I come up with it, so don't look at me in that Jayden what is this shit I'm reading way. It's a distraction technique meant to buy Aya some time if need be. A probably auto-tuned voice comes over the loudspeaker and tells Hikage to come out, come out wherever you are~ OR ELSE I'M BLOWING EVERYTHING UP. This isn't a threat, I promise! But there will be consequences!
This is their Plan B, guys. I could come up with a better "plan B" and I'm the worst tactician ever, though certainly better than My-fucking-Unit. Bald Guy is all I AM HIKAGE MASAYA DON'T BLOW MY CASINO UP PLZ KTHNX and Omi's all DAMMIT I DON'T HAVE A CLEAR SHOT despite him having a pretty damn good shot. I could make that shot with a fucking crossbow--shove over, kid. I mean it's okay if you shoot the other useless cannon fodder--they're gonna end up dead at some point anyway, and everyone dies, blah blah blah. Ain't that right, Colonel Amlisch? (I'll explain who he is later at some point if I remember. That might be when I do Gluhen.)
Well Omi's plan B is still going, and more shit gets blown up and goddammit, Omi, that's how innocent people get killed! What's your plan C? Hikage's assistant is all FUCK THIS CONTINUE WITH THE MATCH so the ref pulls this handy lever and OH LOOK HAI AYA YOU'RE UP.
Okay there are going to be a lot of pics because I seriously have to document this as proof that I am not losing my mind. YOU WILL BE QUIZZED.
Take a good look at this picture:
Take a good look at Aya's left wrist (his left, our right). There's nothing on it, right?
Keep that in mind.
So Aya gets called and he's fighting with a bamboo stick, aka a shinai. A practise sword used in kendo. They kind of hurt and make a nice THWACK sound. Also Aya please please please do not wear that shade of blue with that shade of orange WITH THAT SHADE OF RED fjdksfjkds I don't care if orange and blue are opposites, they are still ugly and I guess I need to call up Carson Kressley so he can redo your fucking wardrobe fjdfjsd.
And guess who decided to watch the match right at this moment? These people:
Hikage, your assistant totes looks a little manly. I can tell from the face. Also I am guessing brown is your favourite colour and why does everyone wear green ties suddenly what the fuck is this a trend? I mean green is my favourite colour in the whole goddamn universe and even I wouldn't wear a green tie with everything. Also I am pretty sure Takatori is wearing a green suit. WHO DRESSES THEES PEOPLE TAKATORI'S BODYGUARD IS THE ONLY ONE WITH FASHION SENSE and he's got awful fucking fashion sense, wearing cream with lilac, brown, and green.
Argh.
Anyway. Takatori's all WHAT'S GOING ON HERE I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION BECAUSE I HAVE MONEY AND AM AWESOME LOOKIT MY SIDEBURNS I would like to shave those damn things off but that's not the point. Hikage's all OH REST ASSURED IT'S ALL GOING TO BE FINE, I GOT THIS SHIT. Meanwhile, people with fucking rifles come in to protect Hikage and his assistant. I bet they still fail as bodyguards, because dead minds usually don't make good bodyguards anyway.
Omi's all PLAN C PLAN C OH GOD I NEED MY PLAN C because yeah, pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen. Smooth one, Omi. YOU SHOULD'VE LET ME SHOOT THE FUCKER IN THE HEAD. I DID ARCHERY IN HIGH SCHOOL. Anyway. Dude with the spear lunges at Aya, who dodges. Going after a swordsman with a spear is pretty ballsy since I could just cut it in half and then muahahaha your head's mine!
Let's check Aya's arm:
Still nothing on it, right?
A few frames later:
What's that on his left wrist? The one that supposedly has nothing on it? It's a gold watch. (Believe me, it's a watch.)
Aya was supposed to be wearing it the whole time. Now remember Aya is wearing a gold watch. On his left wrist.
Aya proceeds to knock the guy out and then this:
It's gone. To where? I don't have a clue. But he's supposed to be wearing one. The watch is actually rather important for later on.Besides, the watch isn't even his.
Hikage's assistant claps and goes OMG UR LYKE SO0O0O0O0O0O0O KEWL LET ME GET YOU A STRONGER OPPONENT MUWAHAHAHAHA and clearly this lady is a little off.
Still no watch. Also, Aya's looks like he got punched in the balls. ffff. I'm glad Schwarz never looks this derpythat I know of, I've never attempted to screencap them.
Anyway, Hikage's assistant is all KILL KILL KILL KILL and if she starts screaming EXTERMINATE I am going to be convinced she is a Dalek in disguise. ...Which would be pretty awesome. ...What's this? A red ring-like mark on Hikage's assistant's forehead!
...Yeah, Hikage apparently likes to crossdress.
Aya's distracted, and the guy he's fighting pulls a gun, an M9 according to what it says on the gun itself (and Wikipedia made me rage when it was all DO YOU MEAN A SMITH & WESSON M19 REVOLVER :D? does it look like a revolver, Wikipedia? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME A BERETTA IS NOT A SMITH & WESSON FDKJFSKJDSFD /gun nerd rage).
oh yes by the way yes I do look up what kind of guns are used in Weiss Kreuz because I like to be accurate in my fanfiction, thank you. I suspect either M9s or Glocks since they're pretty standard. Maybe Glock 17s because they're sexy. And Schwarz would only use the sexiest guns.
All this talk about Schwarz and I haven't even introduced them properly yet. Tch. Typical, Jayden. ...Okay I totally just had a moment.
Aya knocks the gun out of the guy's hand and...well what do you know:
Aya's watch is back, but it's the wrong colour.
THEY HONESTLY THOUGHT NO ONE WOULD NOTICE THIS
well since I was able to identify a gun by sight alone and by the noise it made when firingand since the Beretta M9 is one I am familiar with because that is Jill fucking Valentine's gun of choice dammit, what the hell made you think I wouldn't notice Aya's watch? Lazy fucks, I swear. This is what five bucks gets you? Why couldn't Koyasu be friends with like, peon seiyuu who don't get paid a lot? Think of how big the animation budget would have been! But not only is Koyasu the most prolific seiyuu in Japan, but all his BFFs are famous in their own damn right and--
wait, why am I complaining? I watched this for Schuldig, who is voiced by Midorikawa Hikaru. If he weren't in it, I wouldn't even be writing this, because I never would have watched Weiss Kreuz.
...okay Koyasu you can keep Midorikawa. You can keep Okiayu. And you can keep Miki. The rest can be peons. You can keep Midorikawa and Miki for me, and Okiayu for Nat, and you can stay in it too because my girlfriend likes you, and I gotta do right by my girlfriend.
ANYWAY
will the real Hikage please stand up? real!Hikage is all WHAT IS GOING ON and Aya charges at him, revealing his shinai is just a katana in disguise. He's all prepared to slice and dice when we see...
black watch!
Also why does Aya's derp face remind me of the artwork from Fire Emblem 1? ...oh sweet Anri, it's not the same people, is it? Because that's the stuff nightmares are made from.
A few frames later:
THIS IS LITERALLY A FEW FRAMES LATER and now it's the right colour. I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS, AM I?
I mean how the fuck can you screw this shit up?
"Since when did you care?" you ask. "You're here for Midorikawa."
My being here for Midorikawa does not mean that I am blind, you know.
Also it's hard to see here because I failed at catching it early enough but:
It's black again.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND. I'M GETTING SICK FROM ALL THE BACK AND FORTH.
So Aya throws the saya of his katana at Hikage, knocking her hat off, thus revealing the really strange birth mark for all the world to see. Aya's all THE GAME IS OVER, YOU JUST LOST, TIME TO DIE NOW KTHNX and Hikage is all NOT SO FAST and pressed a button and the floor crumbles.
What is it with crumbling floors in this series they should look into all these buildings.
Oh and Aya's watch is back to being the right colour. So then Aya's getting shot at as he hangs on and he decides to let go. But he's not giving up! The watch is very important because it's not just your average run-of-the-mill watch you can buy for ten bucks at Walmart. No sir. This one is special.
Remember I said that Yohji was there in spirit? Well. The watch is Yohji's. It's his garrotte. Aya throws the piano wire or whatever Yohji uses as his garrotte (probably piano or fishing wire since it's strong) as a hook shot of sorts, and brings himself over to the platform where Hikage is a la Tarzan.
So Aya's all prepared to end this once and for all when we see Takatori. He's looking rather contemplative.
"I wonder if maybe we're having pork chops tonight?"
Can you believe I paused this accidentally and this is what it paused on? How awesome is that?
"Oh, Jayden, his bodyguard doesn't look particularly threatening. He looks like his assistant."
...
Just wait a minute or two.
Aya sticks his landing and goes apeshit after having another trippy flashback. You might want to see a doctor about that, Aya, it sounds like a personal problem.
Oh, and Yohji's watch is gone:
...
Hikage what the hell are you looking at and why are you looking
Hikage runs away (LOL) and Aya wants Takatori's head on a silver platter. Or perhaps mounted in the basement of the Koneko. Hmm. Omi's all WHAT ARE YOU DOING AYA and Plan C is enacted, which involves blowing up the fuse box and causing a power outage. Which is also something that they do a lot in this series.
In all truthfulness, I took this for![[personal profile]](https://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nuraya and cirrious-anae:
Remember this. You will see a lot of him.
Who is he? you ask. Well I figure I might as well introduce him.
This is Brad Crawford. Call him Crawford. He's the leader of Schwarz, and he's a precognitive, meaning he can see the future. This is his I'M HAVING A VISION face.
Do not fuck with him. You will die.
You'll meet his three teammates soon enough. "Soon" being episode eight.
SO ANYWAY, everyone's all ZOMG WHAT'S GOING ON because when the lights suddenly go off, usually evil is afoot.
Clearly everyone is confused:
Except Takatori, who appears to be looking off into the ether, and Crawford, who is trying to prevent Takatori from getting killed by assassins lurking in said ether. Not like Crawford really gives a shit, but he's getting paid so whatever. Just don't get blood on his suit.
Omi's got a shot and takes it, disabling all of the guards, which causes Hikage to nearly piss himself in fright. Takatori acts as if this is a normal occurrence.
"It's dangerous here, let's go," says Crawford, and he escorts Takatori away, hand in his suit jacket. Why? Because that's where he keeps his gun. As you will see much much much later. No, he doesn't pull things out of hammerspace. Crawford is too good for hammerspace.
Omi's lamented the loss of missing Hikage and he sees Aya running in full mission gear, because I guess he ran off during an intermission or something and changed, and he screams his infamous TAKATORI! SHINEEEEEEEEEEEEE warrior cry that fandom thinks is one of the two things he's capable of saying. And Takatori's all OH THERE IS SOME KID COMING AT ME WITH A SWORD, I'LL JUST STAND HERE LA LA LA and I betcha Aya's all YEAH I'M GONNA KILL THIS FUCKER
How about "no".
Crawford hoists Aya over and onto the floor, knocking the wind out of him and knocking him out cold for a bit. How can Crawford do that? He's awesome, that's how. He could also see Aya coming before Aya was even yelling his warrior cry, so he was prepared for what Aya was going to do.
Omi's freaking out, yelling at Aya that that's not the target, and so he shoots a crossbow bolt at Crawford...
Which also doesn't work out too well, because Crawford catches it and chucks it to the ground.
But not before he tells Takatori they should get the fuck out of Dodge:
Don't get used to Crawford wearing a suit that actually, uh, matches everything.
I love how unconcerned Takatori looks throughout this whole ordeal. Seriously, someone just tried to kill him, and he's all GEE I WONDER IF I SHOULD POLISH MY GOLF CLUBS TODAY NEVER KNOW WHEN I MIGHT HAVE TO BEAT SOMEONE WITH THEM
Omi: "My darts didn't work?"
Well, uh, no, not if Crawford caught it and threw it to the ground.
And Aya's actually bleeding a little and he's in some pain, but he still manages to run after Takatori. But not before Omi finishes Hikage off. Well, gets rid of the gun in Hikage's hand. Aya slices her.
Aya's too late, though, because Takatori's helicopter has arrived and damn, Crawford has a nice ass, and they all pile in and Crawford's all HAHAHA FUCK YOU with that smirk of his and so Aya throws his katana in the air hoping to slice the helicopter or something I guess idk.
The episode ends with Omi writing a report to Persia about a "problem with Abyssinian" (Aya in case you forgot his codename), and Aya creepily looking off into the distance on some random rooftop.
The next day, Miyu (Jun's sister from the beginning of this episode) receives a small arrangement of flowers, and she's all OH THEY'RE FROM MY BROTHER and baaaaaaw.
Overall this episode was interesting what with the Jun-Aya parallel aaaaand the introduction of the villain of this arc plus the leader of a really awesome team you will see a lot of in the future so don't you dare forget! I would say more, but I'm kind of tired (it takes me THREE HOURS to write these things!), so yeah.
What's happening in episode three?
We learn about Yohji's past.
Yeah not much to really talk about here. Later on I'll probably elaborate a little more on the stuff in this episode but probably not until after Kapitel.
This entry was originally posted at http://sailorvfan10.dreamwidth.org/171718.html. Comment wherever is most convenient.
We open episode two of Kapitel with a shot of a hospital.
Yes, it really is called Magic Bus Hospital. Don't ask me why. I don't know.
So as we seemingly scale up this building like Spider Man and spy some flowers on a window sill that are probably totally important because symbolism and--
Oh wait, that's Utena. Sorry. The flowers are just there to be all flowery. And pretty. Another bouquet is placed on the window sill as if there aren't enough already and man, whoever's in this hospital room must be spoiled on by family or something.
OH OW THIS SCENE CHANGE JUST GAVE ME WHIPLASH
Suddenly we are given a shot of the Koneko, where it looks like there are only four girls fangirling today. I guess the others must have called out sick or something. "Sorry, can't help fangirl the Weiss florist guys, I have strep throat." "Ohh, I hope you feel better! We'll fangirl Yohji extra for you!" "Oh thank you so much!" Well looks like most of the fangirls aren't the only ones who called out today because Aya's not in either. ...Suddenly now maybe there is a reason why there aren't so many girls today.
Well that might explain his hair in Gluhen then.
"You should learn from Omi," says Ouka. Because Omi is totes optimistic. Look, he looks all KAWAII GENKI DESU NE but in reality he is...not.
BUT WE'LL DISCUSS THAT IN A FEW EPISODES.
Also am I the only one who thinks the bow on Ouka's school uniform is ridiculous looking?
"I wonder where Aya-kun is at a busy time like this..." says Omi. Gee, Omi, if the shop being half empty is "busy", I'd hate to see what "slow" looked like. I think you're doing just fine without Aya.
Where is Aya, you ask? Well, remember that hospital I mentioned in the beginning of this review? Yeah, that's where he is. Before you have a heart attack, no, he's not injured. He's just visiting.
So then two of the girls start going all I LOOKED THIS ALL UP ON WIKIPEDIA and recite Ken's, Yohji's, and Omi's informaton, most of which I distributed to you in the previous review, save for shit like birthdays and blood types. If you really give a damn: Ken was born on December 23rd, Yohji was born March 3rd, and Omi was born on Leap Day. And Aya was born the Fourth of July. Ken's blood type is B, Yohji's is AB, and Omi's is O. Aya's, therefore, would be A. There you go. In case you ever wanted to know. You can also find this on the internet and in All That Weiss in case you forget at some point. And just for completedness, Aya's twenty, Ken's nineteen, Yohji's twenty-two, and Omi's seventeen. And then if you really care, Yohji is six foot, Aya is 5'10", Ken is 5'6", and Omi is 5'4".
And how the hell do I know all this? Because Yohji and Schuldig are the same age, Aya is Schuldig's height, Omi is two years older than Nagi, and Aya and Farfarello are the same age. And Yohji and Crawford are the same height.
ANYWAY. The one girl remarks that she thought Omi was younger than her because he's got a baby face and he's TOTEMO KAWAII and whatever. They'd probably laugh at me if I said Omi was an assassin. "What? Omi-kun? Naaaaaaah. He couldn't even hurt a fly, let alone kill someone!" Yeah okay whatever makes you sleep better at night.
Ouka wants to make a flower into a wreath but Omi is all NO THAT FLOWER JUST BLOOMED JFKJDSFKDS and then goes BUT I CAN MAKE IT IN TWO WEEKS :D :D :D
okay so clearly the show is all THAT'S ENOUGH OF THE OTHER GUYS, BACK TO AYA
who is still wearing that hideous sweater
that is the reason why your sister will not wake up
she does not want to be confronted with that ugly thing
oh btw here's Aya's sister:
What's her name, you ask? Her name is Aya. ...It's complicated. I'll explain when that comes into play. Yes I realise that she totes does not look like she's related to Aya. That's okay. It's an anime. Siblings do not have to look alike.
So Aya stands over his sister's bed like a creeper and then we are interrupted briefly.
fort laufen's definition is actually in the subtitle. ...It means "run away", which is rather apt because it's about death matches!
Chess death matches. Human chess. Picture that gigantic, life size wizard chess scene in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone movie with more blood and guns. Of course since this is Weiss Kreuz, Harry Potter has more blood, but anyway.
Onward!
So Aya decided to stop being a creeper and shuffle back to the Koneko, because he does have a job, you know. So he's walking down some stairs when a ball comes tumbling over and he stops it, going all WHAT IS THIS using facial expressions because Aya Fujimiya went to the School of Heero Yuy, and if you've lived under a rock all your life and didn't know, Heero Yuy is a man of few words. It's unknown at this point whether or not Aya can survive falling from a hundred feet in the air after self-destructing something he's standing on, but he definitely doesn't talk much.
Actually, come to think of it, Zechs doesn't talk much either. Hmm.
Anyway! A little girl appears and since her eyes are closed we must assume that either that she watched too much Pokemon and turned into Brock, or she's blind, or sleepwalking, or possibly all three. Aya gives her the ball back and she's all OMG BIG BROTHER JUN IS THAT YOU and Aya's all WHAT NO I'M NOT YOUR BROTHER
well actually he just goes, "No," and walks away like an asshole but yeah. GOD AYA YOU SUCK ALL THE HAPPINESS OUT OF THE ROOM LIKE DEMENTORS. Good think I brought chocolate.
The ball rolls down the stairs Aya just went down, and he discovers OH NOES SHE FAINTED. That's what you get for being a big meanie in an ugly orange sweater, Aya. What would your sister think? AND THE GIRL LOOKED SO HAPPY TOO, ALL 8D, AND YOU HAD TO JUST CRUSH HER DREAMS.
Well at least he alerts a nurse and helps cart her back to her hospital room. She's got an illness and blah blah blah, parents are dead, her older brother's all she has left and he comes every day and stays by her side for hours and presumably just stares at her, but now he's gone without a trace and Miyu or whatever the girl's name is is all weird, and Aya, you could at least pretend to look like you give a damn in your ugly assed sweater, I mean it's the least you could do. I'm sure you can even relate since you are also a rather doting older brother to an extremely ill sister whom you visit every day and stare at for hours, presumably talking about things that don't involved getting hit by cars whose passengers have funky sideburns. Like maybe...flowers or something. I don't know. Aya's not my muse. He tells me nothing.
So when Aya's decided he's heard enough, he nods to the nurse, his way of saying OKAY I'M DONE BYE NOW I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW SAME TIME, SAME UGLY WARDROBE come on Aya I know you have nicer looking things in that closet of yours, what, were you taking wardrobe tips from a guy wearing a cream suit with a lilac shirt, green tie, and brown vest? Because if so, punch him in the face (or try to, since he'll See it coming and evade it) and tell him to get that red headed partner of his to burn his wardrobe and get a new one. And then ask if said red head will do the same for you. He probably won't, but you can always try.
So Aya looks up at his sister's window before walking away, probably even sighing a little and contemplating his life and what he's done with it. And what would his sister think? Would she approve? Probably not. He even kind of looks like he gives a shit about something (and also like there's something on his nose he's trying to see). Aya is so caught up in thinking about his sister that he nearly walks in front of a moving car. Aya, didn't your mother tell you to look both ways before crossing the street? Especially in fucking Tokyo of all places? Who the hell'd pay your sister's medical expenses if you ended up in the room next door?
Oh and speaking of Aya's sister, here's a trippy looking flashback! Seriously, who the hell coloured these cels, and what were they smoking? I would love to know.
Oh and remember the guy I mentioned who has funky sideburns? I wasn't kidding. Also, you know now that he's evil, because he's doing that Evil Reflective Glasses Glare. Weiss Kreuz does it a lot. Because most of the evil people? Yeah, they're wearing glasses. We have a family of evil spectacles wearing people, the leader of an all female assassin group wears them, and the leader of a seemingly rag tag group of psychics (yes, psychics) wears them.
Anyway. After a flashback that consists of an acid trip in really bad .gif quality, we return to reality, where Aya is reeling from either the flashback or the trippy colours--it's hard to tell which.
okay screw the dramatics let's see two people knock the shit out of each other, because Fight Club was exciting so why the hell not. We get to even see someone use gardening tools to dispatch of his opponents. Anything can become a weapon if you put enough force behind it, so why not?
Well that was short lived. The fighting montage segues into a Weiss mission from Persia. "All of these men have one thing in common: their lives are in the gutter. The guy on the left is face down."
Also I am going to break the serious atmosphere and take the time to tell Manx to go put some pants or shorts or something on because, honestly, what the hell. DID SOMEONE FORGET TO PUT UNDERWEAR ON TODAY? WHO THE FUCK DERPED ON THIS ONE?
what were you doing before you came to the Koneko, Manx SOMEONE PLEASE GET HER SOME PANTS OR A TOWEL OR SOMETHING. Maybe a censor bar?
okay anyway. Their target for this mission? A guy who's making lots and lots of money, more than you can ever hope to make, gambling in the underground world of, well, human chess. Which is slightly better than, say, human hunting, but only by a little bit. The target's name is Hikage Masaya, and no I totally did not just type "Mikage" and backspace to correct it. Hikage buys all these d00ds who defaulted on their loans and pits them against each other in death matches because he's just that great a guy. They don't have much to go on, not even a clear picture, but one thing they know for certain: when Hikage gets excited (take that how you will), a red, ring-like birth mark appears on his forehead. And that's how you will know you have the right guy. Are you guys all in?
WELL THESE BASTARDS MUST PAY, says Ken, who even jumps from his seat, he's so disgusted with humanity. FEEL ALL MY LOVE, MY HATE, AND ALL MY SORROW--oh wait wrong show, sorry guys, I'm attempting to multi-task and got confused. Omi is more WHAT WERE THEY THINKING, HUMANS ARE NOT DOLLS DAMMIT.
Yohji says no, Omi asks why, these guys are lower than scum, and Yohji responds that there's no pretty women, fuck this I'm going to smoke a cigarette and get drunk. Everyone else is all, OKAY BYE HAVE FUN WE'RE GOING ON THIS MISSION NOW. Oh and someone (maybe Ken? I don't have the sound on so idk) remarks Yohji has no sense of justice. When you're an assassin, I don't think you have much of one to begin with, really. Yohji even says, "I'm not in Weiss because of my sense of justice."
(In case you didn't know: Weiss can pass on missions if they choose to. Also, not everyone is required to go on missions.)
Also Omi is all WHAT IS THIS THAT PICTURE OF HIKAGE SUCKS and Manx tells him to suck it up and deal with it and then tells them about the birth mark. Then, presumably, Omi comes up with some sort of plan, because otherwise they are fucked.
Also, because I can, here's Aya's srs bsns face. Dammit Aya, you're making me think you're pretty. Damn you and your red hair and pretty eyes and pretty face. My brain totes just said HIT THAT UNF and where the hell is Schwarz I am clearly being brainwashed, this is the work of some kind of evil.
...All in due time.
ANYWAY, IT'S CASINO TIME, and clearly it's not a kid-friendly place, what with table dancers and pole dancers and some other -dancers, I'm sure. I bet Yohji's sorry he passed on this one, but that's his loss and everyone else's gain. Yohji can be there in spirit, and he technically is--more on that later.
Omi is posing as a waiter so he can keep tabs on everyone, but especially Aya. Ken's outside in the shadows as back up. Aya's going to be the fighter, because he's Aya and the star of this show.
Okay so remember when I said last review that this episode had a parallel between two characters? Well. This is Jun, big brother to Miyu, who we met earlier in the episode. Yeah, he's the devoted older brother who got into deep debt paying his sister's medical bills. So what's he doing? Killing people. Doesn't matter if it's a fight to the death in a chess like atmosphere or if he were hired by God himself to smite the dumbass humans below, he's still killing. Kill or be killed. Yeah. How unfortunate. Also of note, Jun fights with a sword. A katana, actually.
People who have seen this episode before will immediately see where I am going with this, but if this is your first time, don't worry, I'll go slow.
Anyway, Jun's opponent has a sword breaker (a weapon with a toothed edge where a blade can be caught and, if twisted, broken). Jun appears to have the upper hand...until the other guy pulls out a gun and unloads an entire clip into the poor guy. So poor Jun is, uh, dead. He lost. Who's gonna take care of Miyu now?
Omi is very much O_O by what just happened.
Jun's last words? His sister's name. Also, look, people do bleed in Weiss Kreuz:
And here I thought no one in this universe bled for a minute...
So the guy who bet on black is all OH WTF WAS THAT THAT'S TOTES AGAINST THE RULES and the ref is all WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THERE ARE NO RULES N00B EXCEPT THE OTHER GUY HAS TO DIE. So then the guy makes a rather tasteless thing about bringing out nuclear weapons and everyone is all that guy's a total n00b let's just ignore him. Although guys, I gotta ask: what the fuck is up with these guys' expressions? (The two guys in the background.) Seriously. Especially the one guy--I didn't know eyebrows could even contort like that. Ouch. Go see a doctor about that, dude.
So some big and burly dude comes out and Gun Guy fidgets and tries to reload his gun. He could have done that sooner, but he's a n00b too I guess and didn't think about that. No one thinks to reload guns, not even professionals (more on that in episode twelve or so). They don't reload automatically like they do in video games, people! Has Resident Evil taught no one anything? Press R, dammit! (And conserve ammunition, too--who the hell do you think you are, Trowa Barton?)
Suffice to say, Gun Guy, since he didn't press R fast enough, dies. YOU ARE DEAD. CONTINUE? Gun Guy says, "Nah, I'm good." Well then. Sucks for you.
SCENE CHANGE AND wait what's this?
Ugh, lady, please learn to coordinate colours. ...And find some more flattering hats.
Takatori is the guy on the left, by the way. The guy in the white suit is his bodyguard. One of them. There's four, but I guess his partner decided to stay home and babysit or some shit, I don't know, why don't you go and ask him?
(Also, the furniture looks so shiny it's inflatable looking. How tacky.)
Here's a close up of Takatori Reiji:
... yes I realise how, uh, suggestive the subtitle is. You might be on the receiving end, Takatori, but your bodyguard prefers to pitch. :D
After some nervous laughter by all in attendance, it's all business as usual. Takatori's here to blow some money, because he's evil. He wants to see who's worth his money, because he can't waste his millions, dontcha know? Could easily blow that money on strippers instead or something. Takatori remarks that the current winner "looks strong" and wants a closer look, and I'm not sure if he's trying to buy a piece of meat or he's seriously thinking of making that guy a stripper, idk, use your imagination, come to your own conclusions. Takatori and the two other people walk off and Takatori's bodyguard just, uh, stands there like a n00b, presumably because he wants some distance from Takatori after that strange remark of his, or maybe he smells? Who knows. He's there later so what does anyone care? I'll properly introduce you all to Takatori's bodyguard later once I can get some fucking close ups.
So awkwardness behind us now, we're back to Aya, who Hikage is counting on to be awesome or some shit. And of course Aya is wearing his trademark orange sweater and carrying a stick because he's Aya. Don't question him. Anyway, Hikage has awesome intuition and maybe he can even see the future, I wouldn't be surprised in this series, and all his choices end up winning. Aya is his choice, therefore Aya will win. Of course. He's Aya! Didn't Hikage read the goddamn script? The prize is one million yen, and Hikage is disappointed that all the strong looking menz have all died because they are Not Aya and therefore are all a bunch of n00bs anyway.
We get another glimpse at Jun, who is still dead and bloody. Aya asks about him and Hikage's assistant is all OH HIS NAME IS JUN SOMETHING-OR-OTHER AND HE HAD TO PAY HIS SISTER'S MEDICAL BILLS SO HE STARTED KILLING TO DO SO AND WELL HE FAILED 'CAUSE HE'S DEAD TEE HEE.
Aya, that could be you. You on that stretcher being carted off to a grave.
See, Jun and Aya pretty much had the same shit happen. Their parents are both dead, both of their sisters are ill and in the hospital, both of them are in debt to pay for their darling siblings, both of them became killers for money in a fit of desperation. If Aya fucks up, his fate is death. however, if he succeeds, his fate is exile, because how can he face his sister knowing the money that's kept her alive is bloodied, dirty money? Exile is better than death, though. But that's what could happen should he fail. And then what happens to Aya-chan? Jun obviously didn't fight hard enough because if his sister were really that much to him, he would have fought harder to stay alive.
Okay I'm done being all analytical.
Some guy's number is up and he goes to fight; another guy does apeshit and gets killed because he's a weakling or some shit. It's pure adrenaline down here because it's all random and no one knows when they're up until the floor underneath them moves them to the surface of the chess board.
And here we have an animation derp: when Omi's walking down the stairs, he's walking, walking... and suddenly he jumps back a step, then he's back where he was. Someone derped the frames.
There's more where that came from. The next derp I'll be mentioning actually gave me an OCD attack because I kept going WHERE THE FUCK IS THE WATCH FKDJFSKDSJFKDSHK and ranks up there with another derp I'll mention in a later review where fucking CLOTHES ARE SUDDENLY NOT THERE BUT THEY WERE JUST HERE WHERE DID THEY GO
Anyway, Ken's outside chilling and asks if Omi's seen Hikage. Omi responds no. He then proceeds to try and calculate when Aya will be up. Since it's completely random, there's a lot of stats crap involved and I was never good at maths so I don't give a shit. Omi just pressed a bunch of keys and OH HE'LL PROBABLY BE UP IN LIKE TEN MINUTES BASED OFF OF HOW THE OTHER GUY IS FIGHTING. But Ken is all FUCK THE TECHNICAL SHIT, ALL THAT MATTERS IS AYA PWNING. RIGHT? And Omi's all, BUT THEY CAN USE WHATEVER WEAPON THEY WANT. IF IT'S A GUN, AYA IS FUCKED.
It's nice to see they're already writing Aya off as a casualty/lost cause. Some teammates you have there, Aya.
Ken's response? "That would be bad." Well no shit, Sherlock. AND YOU WONDER WHY FANDOM IGNORES YOU, KEN? You and Farfarello can play in the Forgotten Characters Corner. He bites. He also stabs and slices. Mind the knives.
SO. Ken asks if they should switch to Plan B and Omi's all I THOUGHT SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN SO YEAH, PLAN B, I HAVE IT. I ALSO HAVE A PLAN C, D, AND E JUST IN CASE. Omi's always fucking prepared, bitches. And then he hangs up on Ken and he's all D: Meanwhile, Omi activates the Bombay Initiative or whatever fancy name he gave it. (He calls it the Bombay Mission, but I like "Bombay Initiative" better.)
And we are officially halfway through, because EYECATCHER. This one is of Omi.
Anyway, what is this "Bombay Mission"? Basically blowing a whole bunch of lights out. No, really. I never said it was a genius plan, nor did I come up with it, so don't look at me in that Jayden what is this shit I'm reading way. It's a distraction technique meant to buy Aya some time if need be. A probably auto-tuned voice comes over the loudspeaker and tells Hikage to come out, come out wherever you are~ OR ELSE I'M BLOWING EVERYTHING UP. This isn't a threat, I promise! But there will be consequences!
This is their Plan B, guys. I could come up with a better "plan B" and I'm the worst tactician ever, though certainly better than My-fucking-Unit. Bald Guy is all I AM HIKAGE MASAYA DON'T BLOW MY CASINO UP PLZ KTHNX and Omi's all DAMMIT I DON'T HAVE A CLEAR SHOT despite him having a pretty damn good shot. I could make that shot with a fucking crossbow--shove over, kid. I mean it's okay if you shoot the other useless cannon fodder--they're gonna end up dead at some point anyway, and everyone dies, blah blah blah. Ain't that right, Colonel Amlisch? (I'll explain who he is later at some point if I remember. That might be when I do Gluhen.)
Well Omi's plan B is still going, and more shit gets blown up and goddammit, Omi, that's how innocent people get killed! What's your plan C? Hikage's assistant is all FUCK THIS CONTINUE WITH THE MATCH so the ref pulls this handy lever and OH LOOK HAI AYA YOU'RE UP.
Okay there are going to be a lot of pics because I seriously have to document this as proof that I am not losing my mind. YOU WILL BE QUIZZED.
Take a good look at this picture:
Take a good look at Aya's left wrist (his left, our right). There's nothing on it, right?
Keep that in mind.
So Aya gets called and he's fighting with a bamboo stick, aka a shinai. A practise sword used in kendo. They kind of hurt and make a nice THWACK sound. Also Aya please please please do not wear that shade of blue with that shade of orange WITH THAT SHADE OF RED fjdksfjkds I don't care if orange and blue are opposites, they are still ugly and I guess I need to call up Carson Kressley so he can redo your fucking wardrobe fjdfjsd.
And guess who decided to watch the match right at this moment? These people:
Hikage, your assistant totes looks a little manly. I can tell from the face. Also I am guessing brown is your favourite colour and why does everyone wear green ties suddenly what the fuck is this a trend? I mean green is my favourite colour in the whole goddamn universe and even I wouldn't wear a green tie with everything. Also I am pretty sure Takatori is wearing a green suit. WHO DRESSES THEES PEOPLE TAKATORI'S BODYGUARD IS THE ONLY ONE WITH FASHION SENSE and he's got awful fucking fashion sense, wearing cream with lilac, brown, and green.
Argh.
Anyway. Takatori's all WHAT'S GOING ON HERE I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION BECAUSE I HAVE MONEY AND AM AWESOME LOOKIT MY SIDEBURNS I would like to shave those damn things off but that's not the point. Hikage's all OH REST ASSURED IT'S ALL GOING TO BE FINE, I GOT THIS SHIT. Meanwhile, people with fucking rifles come in to protect Hikage and his assistant. I bet they still fail as bodyguards, because dead minds usually don't make good bodyguards anyway.
Omi's all PLAN C PLAN C OH GOD I NEED MY PLAN C because yeah, pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen. Smooth one, Omi. YOU SHOULD'VE LET ME SHOOT THE FUCKER IN THE HEAD. I DID ARCHERY IN HIGH SCHOOL. Anyway. Dude with the spear lunges at Aya, who dodges. Going after a swordsman with a spear is pretty ballsy since I could just cut it in half and then muahahaha your head's mine!
Let's check Aya's arm:
Still nothing on it, right?
A few frames later:
What's that on his left wrist? The one that supposedly has nothing on it? It's a gold watch. (Believe me, it's a watch.)
Aya was supposed to be wearing it the whole time. Now remember Aya is wearing a gold watch. On his left wrist.
Aya proceeds to knock the guy out and then this:
It's gone. To where? I don't have a clue. But he's supposed to be wearing one. The watch is actually rather important for later on.
Still no watch. Also, Aya's looks like he got punched in the balls. ffff. I'm glad Schwarz never looks this derpy
Anyway, Hikage's assistant is all KILL KILL KILL KILL and if she starts screaming EXTERMINATE I am going to be convinced she is a Dalek in disguise. ...Which would be pretty awesome. ...What's this? A red ring-like mark on Hikage's assistant's forehead!
...Yeah, Hikage apparently likes to crossdress.
Aya's distracted, and the guy he's fighting pulls a gun, an M9 according to what it says on the gun itself (and Wikipedia made me rage when it was all DO YOU MEAN A SMITH & WESSON M19 REVOLVER :D? does it look like a revolver, Wikipedia? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME A BERETTA IS NOT A SMITH & WESSON FDKJFSKJDSFD /gun nerd rage).
oh yes by the way yes I do look up what kind of guns are used in Weiss Kreuz because I like to be accurate in my fanfiction, thank you. I suspect either M9s or Glocks since they're pretty standard. Maybe Glock 17s because they're sexy. And Schwarz would only use the sexiest guns.
All this talk about Schwarz and I haven't even introduced them properly yet. Tch. Typical, Jayden. ...Okay I totally just had a moment.
Aya knocks the gun out of the guy's hand and...well what do you know:
Aya's watch is back, but it's the wrong colour.
THEY HONESTLY THOUGHT NO ONE WOULD NOTICE THIS
well since I was able to identify a gun by sight alone and by the noise it made when firing
wait, why am I complaining? I watched this for Schuldig, who is voiced by Midorikawa Hikaru. If he weren't in it, I wouldn't even be writing this, because I never would have watched Weiss Kreuz.
...okay Koyasu you can keep Midorikawa. You can keep Okiayu. And you can keep Miki. The rest can be peons. You can keep Midorikawa and Miki for me, and Okiayu for Nat, and you can stay in it too because my girlfriend likes you, and I gotta do right by my girlfriend.
ANYWAY
black watch!
Also why does Aya's derp face remind me of the artwork from Fire Emblem 1? ...oh sweet Anri, it's not the same people, is it? Because that's the stuff nightmares are made from.
A few frames later:
THIS IS LITERALLY A FEW FRAMES LATER and now it's the right colour. I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS, AM I?
I mean how the fuck can you screw this shit up?
"Since when did you care?" you ask. "You're here for Midorikawa."
My being here for Midorikawa does not mean that I am blind, you know.
Also it's hard to see here because I failed at catching it early enough but:
It's black again.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND. I'M GETTING SICK FROM ALL THE BACK AND FORTH.
So Aya throws the saya of his katana at Hikage, knocking her hat off, thus revealing the really strange birth mark for all the world to see. Aya's all THE GAME IS OVER, YOU JUST LOST, TIME TO DIE NOW KTHNX and Hikage is all NOT SO FAST and pressed a button and the floor crumbles.
What is it with crumbling floors in this series they should look into all these buildings.
Oh and Aya's watch is back to being the right colour. So then Aya's getting shot at as he hangs on and he decides to let go. But he's not giving up! The watch is very important because it's not just your average run-of-the-mill watch you can buy for ten bucks at Walmart. No sir. This one is special.
Remember I said that Yohji was there in spirit? Well. The watch is Yohji's. It's his garrotte. Aya throws the piano wire or whatever Yohji uses as his garrotte (probably piano or fishing wire since it's strong) as a hook shot of sorts, and brings himself over to the platform where Hikage is a la Tarzan.
So Aya's all prepared to end this once and for all when we see Takatori. He's looking rather contemplative.
"I wonder if maybe we're having pork chops tonight?"
Can you believe I paused this accidentally and this is what it paused on? How awesome is that?
"Oh, Jayden, his bodyguard doesn't look particularly threatening. He looks like his assistant."
...
Just wait a minute or two.
Aya sticks his landing and goes apeshit after having another trippy flashback. You might want to see a doctor about that, Aya, it sounds like a personal problem.
Oh, and Yohji's watch is gone:
...
Hikage what the hell are you looking at and why are you looking
Hikage runs away (LOL) and Aya wants Takatori's head on a silver platter. Or perhaps mounted in the basement of the Koneko. Hmm. Omi's all WHAT ARE YOU DOING AYA and Plan C is enacted, which involves blowing up the fuse box and causing a power outage. Which is also something that they do a lot in this series.
In all truthfulness, I took this for
nuraya and cirrious-anae:Remember this. You will see a lot of him.
Who is he? you ask. Well I figure I might as well introduce him.
This is Brad Crawford. Call him Crawford. He's the leader of Schwarz, and he's a precognitive, meaning he can see the future. This is his I'M HAVING A VISION face.
Do not fuck with him. You will die.
You'll meet his three teammates soon enough. "Soon" being episode eight.
SO ANYWAY, everyone's all ZOMG WHAT'S GOING ON because when the lights suddenly go off, usually evil is afoot.
Clearly everyone is confused:
Except Takatori, who appears to be looking off into the ether, and Crawford, who is trying to prevent Takatori from getting killed by assassins lurking in said ether. Not like Crawford really gives a shit, but he's getting paid so whatever. Just don't get blood on his suit.
Omi's got a shot and takes it, disabling all of the guards, which causes Hikage to nearly piss himself in fright. Takatori acts as if this is a normal occurrence.
"It's dangerous here, let's go," says Crawford, and he escorts Takatori away, hand in his suit jacket. Why? Because that's where he keeps his gun. As you will see much much much later. No, he doesn't pull things out of hammerspace. Crawford is too good for hammerspace.
Omi's lamented the loss of missing Hikage and he sees Aya running in full mission gear, because I guess he ran off during an intermission or something and changed, and he screams his infamous TAKATORI! SHINEEEEEEEEEEEEE warrior cry that fandom thinks is one of the two things he's capable of saying. And Takatori's all OH THERE IS SOME KID COMING AT ME WITH A SWORD, I'LL JUST STAND HERE LA LA LA and I betcha Aya's all YEAH I'M GONNA KILL THIS FUCKER
How about "no".
Crawford hoists Aya over and onto the floor, knocking the wind out of him and knocking him out cold for a bit. How can Crawford do that? He's awesome, that's how. He could also see Aya coming before Aya was even yelling his warrior cry, so he was prepared for what Aya was going to do.
Omi's freaking out, yelling at Aya that that's not the target, and so he shoots a crossbow bolt at Crawford...
Which also doesn't work out too well, because Crawford catches it and chucks it to the ground.
But not before he tells Takatori they should get the fuck out of Dodge:
Don't get used to Crawford wearing a suit that actually, uh, matches everything.
I love how unconcerned Takatori looks throughout this whole ordeal. Seriously, someone just tried to kill him, and he's all GEE I WONDER IF I SHOULD POLISH MY GOLF CLUBS TODAY NEVER KNOW WHEN I MIGHT HAVE TO BEAT SOMEONE WITH THEM
Omi: "My darts didn't work?"
Well, uh, no, not if Crawford caught it and threw it to the ground.
And Aya's actually bleeding a little and he's in some pain, but he still manages to run after Takatori. But not before Omi finishes Hikage off. Well, gets rid of the gun in Hikage's hand. Aya slices her.
Aya's too late, though, because Takatori's helicopter has arrived and damn, Crawford has a nice ass, and they all pile in and Crawford's all HAHAHA FUCK YOU with that smirk of his and so Aya throws his katana in the air hoping to slice the helicopter or something I guess idk.
The episode ends with Omi writing a report to Persia about a "problem with Abyssinian" (Aya in case you forgot his codename), and Aya creepily looking off into the distance on some random rooftop.
The next day, Miyu (Jun's sister from the beginning of this episode) receives a small arrangement of flowers, and she's all OH THEY'RE FROM MY BROTHER and baaaaaaw.
Overall this episode was interesting what with the Jun-Aya parallel aaaaand the introduction of the villain of this arc plus the leader of a really awesome team you will see a lot of in the future so don't you dare forget! I would say more, but I'm kind of tired (it takes me THREE HOURS to write these things!), so yeah.
What's happening in episode three?
We learn about Yohji's past.
Yeah not much to really talk about here. Later on I'll probably elaborate a little more on the stuff in this episode but probably not until after Kapitel.
This entry was originally posted at http://sailorvfan10.dreamwidth.org/171718.html. Comment wherever is most convenient.
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Date: 2012-01-31 11:17 pm (UTC)Word.
Then again, that sort of dissent on the part of the good guys is something I find appealing about Weiss. That, and the fact that Aya-kun isn't the actual leader.