"Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"!

[omaewokorosu]

(This is what Aleks posted on our FB after everything that happened this morning:)

This morning was A Lot... The anxiety from what happened is very slowly leaving... I'm not going to rehash everything that happened in detail, because there isn't much of a point. There are important takeaways...

Egg's "mask" fell off today. Completely. She tried coming after me, but my wife made sure to protect me (especially since I was asleep). It led to disparaging comments about how messy everything is (it's not like we're busy packing for a move happening soon or anything). She left the door open so the cats could've gotten out (not that she would've cared, it's not like she likes them). We got her to go back downstairs where she belongs, because she has no business coming up here especially if she's going to be abusive. Once downstairs...the mask really came off. Fully.

She said once we're out of here, she is washing her hands of us (as if we weren't going to go complete no contact with her, which we've said many times). She doesn't want to know our new address, which is fine because I had no intention of telling her. She doesn't care what happens to us once we're done here, that we'll "get what we deserve".

I will get what I deserve. A beautiful house in the beautiful Southern Tier/Finger Lakes region of New York, with our cats, filled with our favourite things, with a garden filled with garden gnomes and little cups you can put with your flowers so that bees can take a drink and relax a bit before going off to do more pollinator things. We'll be able to see family more, where I know I'm wanted and loved and appreciated. I have my wife who loves me and will fight for me to the ends of the earth and beyond because she wasn't raised to let someone treat the person she loves like garbage.

I told her that she's already getting what she deserves. She didn't like that comment. She said that my grandparents (her parents) would've sided with her and would've been so ashamed of me. My grandmother, my nan, the epitome of "being a lady", absolutely loved and adored me. I'm sure she still does. She would've been absolutely appalled at how I'm being treated. At least whenever I say a cross word to this cracked egg of a human, I apologise to my nan, because Egg is (unfortunately) her daughter, and my nan knows that I am not this horrible person. I know this.

Egg finally admitted that she absolutely hates Terri. "Everything was fine until you came along." Everything was fine because you were able to get away with manipulating and gaslighting the absolute shit out of me, and then Terri came along and showed me what love is supposed to feel like. Her parents have shown me more love and affection in the short amount of time Terri and I have been together than Egg's ever shown me my entire fucking life. You can be mad that I call my mother-in-law "Mom" if you want but Sherri has been more of a mom to me than you ever were, Egg. And that's the gospel fucking truth.

Not only does she hate my wife she also said that Terri is manipulating me and my brother Michael is helping her do so.
Lol.
Lmao.
I am my own person. The only one who ever manipulated me is you, you harpy. You sorry excuse for flesh and bones turned sentient.

Oh, and apparently we should be "over" our dad. We should be "done with grieving". You're never "done" grieving, especially when it's a parent, unless you no longer feel any love or affection towards that person; grief is an extension of love that now no longer has a recipient. Just because you said you were glad he was dead, doesn't mean we feel the same. I will be grieving my dad for the rest of my life, until I meet up with him in the next. Don't tell me I should be "over it".

Then again as a narcissist you don't have any empathy or compassion because those parts of your brain are either underdeveloped or missing entirely. All narcissists are psychopaths (but not all psychopaths are narcissists; most of them aren't, in fact) and as a result they have absolutely zero regard for humanity. It's all about them.

"Sometimes I wish I had died instead. Things would've been better."
Yeah, probably, but we don't know that and we won't know that because that isn't what happened; the past is a done deal and every second that passes can't be changed. There is a saying: the good die young and the bad linger. Dad was a good man with faults like anyone else (as a result of his very turbulent childhood). He died at 56 which his brother (who was iirc in his 70s at the time, and in poor health) didn't understand because he didn't deserve to go at not even 60. He never got to retire. He never got to meet his granddaughter, or see me get married. He never got to see any of his three kids get married.

Egg abused her husband, and at least two of her kids; my eldest brother was (and maybe still is) the golden child. Michael and I are the scapegoats, the discarded, the lost. It won't be long before Rob ends up becoming a scapegoat too. He doesn't bring his daughter around Egg and that's probably within reason. Look at all this fuckery.

As my brother likes to say, "life isn't fair." Life isn't fair to anyone for different reasons. That's just how the universe works. But I believe in Karma, and she is hard at work...for both of us. Karma gives good blessings as well as curses. Maybe down the line karmic justice will find me, maybe it won't. But it's certainly found Egg, who tried to use not only my deceased and dearly departed grandparents (especially my grandmother) against me, but my dad too. She's tried to turn my wife against me. She has tried to isolate everyone and anyone she could so that she had full and complete control over me.

And I would've had the last laugh because I would've taken myself out. Narcissistic abuse is the worst form of abuse because it often combines physical, verbal, and emotional abuse into one; the emotional abuse is so insidious that it permanently fucks you up, and the verbal abuse leaves you absolutely reeling. It's no wonder many people complete suicide because of it.

I'm no one's retirement plan. I'm no one's eldercare. I'm no one's paycheck, servant, maid, chauffeur...Instacart... I am not a thing.

I'm a person.

And I married someone who finally let me see that, because she has done nothing but treat me like I am a person with my own feelings, my own thoughts, my own opinions and wants and desires. My own interests. My own goals.

So you know what, Egg? It's fine if you discard me. Mom and Dad will be more than happy to have me.

And before anyone can ask... Yes, actually, she did the exact same thing to my brother, the son that she discarded. And you know what else else? I wouldn't be surprised if eventually she does the same thing to her remaining child. But hey, I don't think Egg cares if she dies alone...

She'll have her money, after all. The only thing she ultimately cares about.

(Added in a comment:) Oh one thing I forgot to add (because I just found it out thru Terri): Egg felt she deserved a medal for doing the bare minimum for parenting!!!

And whilst there's not much to really add... Yeah! Can't wait to jingle the keys to our house in her fucking face and tell her where she can shove all of her money :D

Aleks was the one fronting until p much now (because our anxiety dissipated completely). He said things in a voice that no one should ever hear using words that Aleks doesn't use unless someone deserves it (the "c-word" in particular). He texted my brother who basically said "oh this is exactly what she did with me before I left."

Meaning the whole "I don't care where you go after here I will be washing my hands of you."

lol lmao rofl as if I give a fuck if this bitch fucking "throws me away" as far as I'm concerned she was never a parent to me so why should I even be hurt by this when I have a mom her name is Sherri and she is married to my father-in-law who I call "Dad"!!!

And besides, I can't be a terrible person: my cats both love me.

They hate Egg.

And if anyone can tell good from evil, it's animals.

She was throwing a fit downstairs because it was 8:00 and we weren't down and she wanted her shopping done and done now. This resulted in her screaming up the stairs multiple times in her stupid whingy fucking air raid siren of a yell, as I will quote here:

E: Hey, <404 Name Not Found>*? What time are you going to work today? [No response]

E, yelling louder, as if that will help with anything: <404 Name Not Found>, what time are you going to work today? [No response]

E, trying to imitate a walking and talking air raid siren and kind of succeeding: <404 Name Not Found>, what time are you going to work today? [No response]

E, sounding like another fine air raid siren: <404 Name Not Found>!
E, sounding like it’s a life or death situation: What time are you going to work today?! [No response]

E: Come on and answer me, please! [No response]

E, her voice nearly cracking at the end: Oh my god, what is going on in this house?!
E, in a panic now: What is going ooooon?!

E: <404 Name Not Found>, what time are you going to work?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! [No response]
E, sounding like she’s near tears: What is going on in this house?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!
E: Come onnnn, pleaaaaase!

E: ‘Cause you gotta do my SHOPPING today!

This continued on for several minutes of her calling for us and because of where our bedroom is located we couldn't hear her, plus we always have a fan or something on so that also muffles noise. Not to mention... It's our day off, why would we be waking up at bumfuck o'clock just to do your shopping?

So after getting zero response, she brought it upon herself to not only come upstairs, but to also let herself into my office (and leaving the door open because she didn't know how it worked; it's a folding door) without knocking and then coming into the attached bedroom also without knocking to yell and scream at us. Serena and I were still in bed, and Aleks was fronting. How did she know we were clothed? How did she know Serena and Aleks weren't doing something? Instead she came in and "cried" in her fucking whingy toddler voice about the shopping and how she didn't know and this and that

S: Get out!
E, sounding like we were holding back some big secret from her: When were you gonna tell me?
S: They’re not gonna do your shopping today.
E: Well when [are they] gonna do it? Tomorrow? Saturday?
[Aleks said something but it couldn't be made out.]
E: What?
A: Get the fuck out of my room and my office!
E, sounding bereft: You gotta do my shopping.
S: Oh okay, if you’re able to (buy treats and?) get to the store by yourself, Nancy, you can get to the store to do your shopping.
E, in (fake) hysterics: But when were you gonna tell me that you weren’t gonna do it?
E: But you’re supposed to be doing my shopping, come on now, <404 Name Not Found>!
A: I’m not doing your shopping anymore.

And then all of that turned into "oh my god your room is a disaster, how can you live this way, I don't think you're gonna be able to move all of this"

E, sounding like she’s in tears: Oh my god…
A/S: Get out!
A: And shut the fuck up!
Egg ambles out of Karu’s office and into the hallway.
#S: I’ll get Bitty because she’s–her opening the fucking door let Bitty out.
E: And I mean you haven’t even started ANYTHING. How could you even MOVE?!
[...]
S: Shut the fuck up about it!
A: “Oh my gooood!”
S: “Oh my god it’s so fucking messy!” We’re fucking PACKING!
E: Oh my goooooood. [pause] Oh my gooood.

Newsflash, Eggiekins: it's like this because we're getting ready to move and we are sorting through trash and things that we want to pack. You've moved twice, honey, you should know how this works! But she kept going on and on and on about it and meanwhile Serena was yelling at her to get out (she didn't) and Aleks was yelling at her in That Voice to get the fuck out. She literally had to be herded out! Making awful comments the entire time! As if Aleks (or myself) give a fuck about anything she has to say.

She's lucky Aleks didn't grab her and physically lead her out of the room but I also understand why he wouldn't because he didn't want Egg to then yell about how she was being assaulted or whatever. But he could've. She's lucky he didn't because he wouldn't have been gentle either.

(As it turns out, Aleks did have to basically nudge her out the door and out into the hallway, which he didn't do as hard as he would've with anyone else.)

She yelled all the way down the stairs (still with the comments) and Serena went to yell at her to tell her that what she did was inappropriate and wrong (in a preschool teacher voice) whilst Aleks went to look for Saru, because she fled when this Strange and Unhinged Woman forced herself into the room and we started yelling.

E: Oh my gooood.
S, in the hallway now: Oh quit whining.
E, ignoring S: Oh my goooooood.
A: Shut the fuck up.
E: Oh my–.
S: You don’t know how the hell we live, you don’t know whether or not we can get our shit together soon enough. You don’t know how we work.
E: Yeah right.
S: So–hey! Don’t fucking start.
A, mockingly: Yeah right!
E: You’re hoarders.
A: Shut the fuck up.
E: Oh my god.
S: Oh shut up, you fucking OCD bipolar bitch.
E: Oh my god.
S: Go sit your fucking ass down!
E: Well I would rather do that.
S: Yeah go be fuckin’ lazy, also go take yourself to the store from now on. I am sick and tired of you using and abusing my wife to do your fuckin’ shopping. You can get your ass to the fucking store and buy KitKats.
E: I don’t understand–
S: You are more than capable of getting yourself and–
E: She should’ve told me!
S: She–? They were—
E: She–
S: No, not “she”, they were going to tell you.
E, like a confused child who can barely follow very simple directions: When?
S: They were gonna tell you tomorrow.
Aleks is calling for Bitty.
S: When they worked. And now because of your ~shenanigans~, we have to search for our cat, I’m supposed to be working.
#A: Bitty…
E, sarcastically: Well it really looked like you were working.
S: Well I was getting–well excuse the fuck outta me, you have nothing to say about that. I was getting up because you started coming into my wife’s office to act like this, so–
Egg tries to interrupt but is unable to be heard over someone who is part Sicilian.
S: I was–shut the fuck up!
E: I’m so glad I went up there though, to see what a mess it is.
S: No, you stay the hell out of our spaces, we don’t go into your–
E: Oh my–
S: –fucking bedroom.
E: –Gooood. Oh my gooooood.
S: Oh quit whining!
E: I can’t believe it.
A: Oh yeah we’ll be so grateful when we never see you again.
S: We’re also–
E: Oh thank god.
A: “Oh thank god!” I should be the one saying that, not you.
E: Oh my gooood. [mockingly] I should be the one saying that.
A: No, I should be the one saying that, you fucking abusive cunt.
S, to E, who is trying to interrupt them: Hey!
A: You fucking. abusive. cunt.

Saru was easily and very quickly found. She was on the bed (after I'm guessing fleeing to the en-suite). Aleks kept hold of her as Serena went Full Sicilian (hence the quote in the entry title). I think it was less so Bitty had no chance at slipping out and more because Aleks needed her comfort tbh.

S: By the way, you’re not getting our address, you’re not getting anything.
E: Oh well that’s good! I’m glad! I don’t wanna know your address!
S: Good!
E: I don’t wanna know your [home address or anything? Everyone is talking at once here]
S: Good!
E: I don’t wanna know your anything.
S and A: Well good!
S, her Great Lakes accent coming out strong: We’re all on the same page for that.
E: Sooner or later you’re gonna get yours! Sooner or later you’re gonna get yours…
A: “You’re gonna get yours” and you’re already getting it.
S: Yeah!
E: …let me tell ya.

There’s more shouting.

S: What do you know?
A: Your parents must be so ashamed of you.
E, in a tone that suggests “I’m rubber, you’re glue”: Oh my parents must be so ashamed of you.
E, saying this to hurt K since Nana and them were very close: My mother must be so ashamed of you.
A: No, my grandmother would be so disgusted with you.

Thanks to Aleks (and all of the reading I've done and have been doing) I know how narcissists work. So I know everything spewing forth from her mouth is her trying to make me feel bad about myself. To "lower" myself so that she's elevated. To try and gaslight and manipulate. To get us to cry. Etc. To basically make us feel like shit. Which she holds no power here lmao.

She talked about how my grandparents would've been "so ashamed" of my actions and Aleks was like, "Ashamed of my actions? What about yours?" and she talked about how they would've been on her side.

lol.

lmao.

My nan fucking adored me and she shamed you (let's not forget) for even considering tossing me out onto the streets when I was 18 years old.

So. What was this about her being on your side? Thinking I'm this horrible person?

If anything this sorry excuse of a human being is my villain origin story. After all it was my brother who wrote in his "no contact" letter

I will, for the first time, be the villain, the monster you believe me to be

and if we both have to be the villains in whatever fucked up story she's composed for herself and her life, that's fine. My brother and I were always the odd ducks out. I feel like in some ways my brother is probably "neurospicy" and I am certainly "neurospicy" and my dad was probably somewhere on the autism spectrum... So I wouldn't expect Egg to understand.

I don't expect Egg to understand anything about me. She doesn't know me. She never knew me. You wanna know who does know me?

My wife.

Who yes, Egg, I trust to speak on my behalf.

S: You sit there and comment about Aunt Dot and how, “oh, well, her daughter forgave her why can’t you?”
E, sarcastically: Yeah right… Yeah, I know. You’re the one who’s fuelling everything anyway, and she wasn’t…
S: I’m sorry? I am not—hey Karu? Karu!
E: Well I’m counting on you because <404> doesn’t say anything!
S: She’s blaming all of this on me!
E: Well you’re–your mouth is always going, she hardly says a word, it’s always you, it’s always about you saying things.

And let me just reiterate: She made it a point to let us know that she doesn't care about getting our address and she can't wait for the day that we move out so she can wash her hands of us. Aleks and Serena both responded, "That's fine, we were planning on doing that anyway." So we don't have to worry about her "oh but what if I want to send you something?" reaction because there won't be one. One less thing to be concerned about.

It's all on audio recording. It'll be transcripted at some point, but probably not until after the move. The full transcript is done and I've peppered snippets of it throughout this entry! You're welcome.

Also yes, Egg did go and get her own groceries. She called herself a taxi and she even went to ShopRite (I could tell because she had bags from there; where I work is in PA and they still use plastic bags) to do her shop. So she is perfectly capable of doing her own shopping. Especially since she went wherever and bought herself KitKats and some napkin holder thing.

Serena said she wasn't going to let Egg take further advantage of me anymore. Eggiekins has to fend for herself now, like a big girl. She's 70 years old and ablebodied. She can get around using a car service (that she uses to pick up her meds, go to doctor appointments, go pick up sweets...) and if there's something important she needs to get, she can call her beloved Golden Child. Because we're done.

We're absolutely 100 percent done.

S: I can see through your bullshit.
E: I can see through your bullshit too.
S: Oh yeah?
E: Yeah, big time.
S: What, you think I don’t actually love your child?
E: Well I’m–I’m—I guess you do love her, but I–
S: Yeah, I do love them. First off, I respect them and call them the correct pronouns. I don’t sit there and deadname them! I don’t sit there and use the pronouns that they don’t like using. It’s called I respect my wife.
S: But no, I’m happy you finally admitted that you think this is all my fault. That I’m the one that caused aaaall of this, that–
E: Yeah, well–
S: —because I came into the picture. Oh nooo, your beloved baby got a backbone!
E: Yeah well everything was fine until you came.
S, in a saccharinely sweet voice laced with condescension: I’m glad–I’m so glad that you admitted it!
E: Well–
S: 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Yay! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Congratulations honey, you admitted it finally! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
E: Yeah, well, yeah, yep.
S: It took you long enough. And guess what? The feeling’s mutual. You can go ahead and say you hate me because it’s fine! I don’t expect you to love me, because to you, I’ve ruined everything.
E: You did!
S: Because I support your child, I encourage your child, and I also helped them reconnect with their brother, who you also think is manipulating them. We’re not! We just give them—your child—the love and support that they have deserved their entire life after your husband died.
E: The funny thing is, you know, everything was fine until you came.
S: Well I’m glad that you admitted it!
E: Everything was fine until you came.
S: Yup!
E: And then all of a sudden—
S: Because your child has that responsibility to, and I quote, “That Fucking Woman™”.
E: I mean really.
S: Yeah I’m That Fucking Woman™! ✨\_(-_^)_/✨ And that’s fine! You wanna call me a bitch? That’s fine! My mother did not raise me to sit there and let abuse happen.
E: The thing is, you weren’t even close to your mother. I mean she was your mother, but you weren’t close to her.
[...]
E: She hasn’t been to work since—
S: Yeah, it’s called “paid time off”, they took time off because of what this week was.
E: Yeah right.
S: Hey-ey-ey, excuse me. That is a child who is still grieving the loss of their daddy.
E: Yeah and we’re 22 years later, I mean, you don’t need to take the day off.
S: Okay, here’s the thing, people–
E: 22 years later.
S: –grieve differently and also in case you’ve forgotten, Karu was 10 years old when he died.
E: I know! I know how old she was.
S: Okay, I’m glad you’re aware of that, but they did not get the ability to grieve fully at that time because they didn’t get the help. And I’m not getting into that because that’s a whole bunch of—another can of worms. But the thing is, people–everyone else grieves differently. Some people just move on immediately and go, “Oh I’m glad he’s gone.” Other people–
E: [tries to interrupt]
S: Hey! Other people do take time and children when–when they’re young when their parent dies, sometimes they continue grieving. For a long time! And considering the fact that your child absolutely loved and adored him because that was their daddy, they’re going to–
E: Yeah I wish—
S: They’re going to grieve their entire life.

I don't expect her to understand the grief I still feel and will always feel towards my dad, because she is unable to feel empathy or any sense of compassion. She can't even fake it. She doesn't understand it and doesn't bother wanting to. There is nothing that can be done for her, she is a lost cause. She couldn't understand why Serena changed after Eileen passed away, despite losing her own mother. She doesn't understand why I call my (step)mother-in-law Sherri "Mom", because she thinks that because she birthed me that that automatically awards her such a title.

No, Egg.

The title of "Mom" is earned. Why do you think none of your children use it for you? And it wasn't me who started that, it was Rob. Your Golden Child. Even he knows there is not one goddamn fucking thing that is maternal about you. (He doesn't refer to his in-laws as "Mom and Dad" either, just by first name.)

Meanwhile Michael and I call our in-laws "Mom and Dad". Because they've earned it. They treat us more like family than our own treats us.

Do I feel like I've disappointed my nan? A little. This piece of putrid filth is after all her daughter. I know my nan would wonder where the fuck she went wrong. She didn't do anything wrong. I never once doubted her love for me, I felt it in every interaction, every card, every present. I was her beautiful and sweet and wonderful grandchild. In every single card. My nan talked about me all the time to anyone who would listen. She was so proud of me.

Is so proud of me, I'm sure.

And unlike Egg, I still miss her. I will miss her after 10 years still. I will miss her after 20 years. Just like I will continue to miss my dad.

In perpetuity.

And she will never understand.

And I will never expect her to.

The best part of the transcript:

S: Wow you did the bare–
E: Ohhhhhh—
S: –minimum as a parent, you took your child with you.
E: Oh yeah riiiiight!
S: What do you want, a fucking medal?
E: Yeah, I do!
S: Uh huh.
E: Uh huh!
S: Yeah you definitely don’t deserve it Ms. I—“You Definitely Can’t Have Any of This Food Here Except This Cheap Ass Ramen Noodles Because You Don’t Bring Any Money Into the House”
E: What?
S: Yeah. I’m–I’m just gonna grab whatever the hell I was gonna grab, LOOK FOR MY CAT, and get back to work because I don’t have the time to waste with a toddler having a temper tantrum. ‘Cause that’s literally what it’s like with you.
E, dejectedly: Yeah right.
S: Have a good rest of whatever today is!
E: Yeah right, thanks for nothin’!